Good Friday words

Pastor Quinn, my ministry partner, came down with a bad flu a week ago. He was to speak at the Edmonton Outdoor Way of the Cross yesterday, but was still feeling pretty tough. With his help to hurriedly write a reflection (he's got the gift of speaking off the cuff -- I don't), I subbed in for him.

With the help of Mike Campbell, an amazing friend from the Sanctuary of Peace Community, who proclaimed the reading from Isaiah, and our previous associate pastor, Jim Gurnett, who closed with prayer, we shared the following with those who attended the 46th Annual Outdoor Way of the Cross. 

* * * * * * *

From the 58^th chapter of Isaiah, verses 6-9:

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
    and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
    and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
    and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
    and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
    and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
    and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.

Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;

    you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

God’s words in these verses from the prophet Isaiah tell us what our fasting as God’s people should look like. Fasting is not so much about giving up chocolate or coffee for the forty days of Lent as it is about doing justice all the time – lifting oppression, breaking barriers between ourselves and others, giving from our abundance to those whose lives should be as abundant as our own, and remembering that we are all siblings in God’s family – all the time.

Early one winter morning before our Sunday Service, Pastor Quinn arrived to find a young woman huddled under a piece of cardboard, shivering because she had lost much of her clothing in a state of drugged confusion. Quinn gave her a blanket to wrap herself in, invited her inside, and turned her over to me to help her get dressed in clothing odds and ends that had been donated to us. We gave her a sweet, hot cup of coffee as soon as it was ready, a bit of food, and she stayed with us, sleeping through much of that Sunday service, finally warm.

This young woman was one of many people who live on our streets, people whose lives have not turned out as they had hoped for any number of reasons. Our affluent Alberta society expects us all to live in a certain way and be a certain kind of citizen, but the young woman on our doorstep had clearly been judged by human beings and found wanting some time before we met her. She was turned away from the kinds of assistance that would have given her the abundant life God dreams for all of us.

There are those who would say, "how and why did she end up almost naked under a piece of cardboard on a winter’s night? Clearly, she made some bad choices, going out alone, using drugs, being homeless." Some people might say that she was getting what she deserved. Keep in mind, though, that no one wants – or deserves – to live on our streets in -40 windchill. And in the heart of God, who is unconditional love, do the poor choices people make really matter? 

Not in the least. God knows the complexities of their stories, sees their hearts, and calls them beloved children. They are every bit as beloved as you and I no matter what their lives look like.

In a province and country as well off as ours, there is no excuse for anyone to be hungry, naked, or homeless. When we remember that all lives are holy and valuable to our Creator, when we share our food with the hungry and provide the poor wanderer with shelter, when we clothe the naked, and stand with the struggling people of this city whom we often forget are our own flesh and blood, our sisters and brothers, our siblings in one family -- when we remember and do these things, God’s light, healing and justice pour through us.

Ensuring that all people have enough of what they need to live in dignity and freedom is the fasting that God desires from all of us not only during Lent, but all year long.

We close with a prayer from the Iona Community:

 

Creator and Kin, as near as breath,

and yet far beyond our understanding,

holy is your name.

Your new reality come,

your justice be done, here and now.

May we feed each other, as you feed us.

You hold us in grace when we don’t ‘get it’. 

May we hold others in grace too.

May we resist complacency,

and strive for justice and peace,

for all people, and all times. 

+Amen

    you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

Sunday reflection: The woman (and man) at the well

Today's reflection is brought to you by

John 4:  4:5-30, 39-40.

This morning, I had the joy of presenting a little skit from John's Gospel along with Jesse and James. When I asked Jesse if he would play Jesus, he said, "Whoa, tall order!" But he did a great job, and James was an excellent narrator too. What follows below is the reflection I shared with our community of Sanctuary of Peace, our circle of belonging in the heart of the city of Edmonton.

* * * * * * *

There are three things I hope we can learn from this little story that James and Jesse helped me to tell, but before I get to that, a little background on it: 

The way Jesus and the woman are speaking to each other (with no one else present) is breaking a few rules of their societies. Women were expected to travel in groups. And Jews and Samaritans generally avoided each other because of a history of bad blood between their peoples. 

So we might wonder why this woman is coming to the well all alone in the hottest hours of the day. The most likely answer is that she doesn’t go to the well when other married women go in the coolness of the morning because they shame her for being a sinner because she’s had so many husbands.

And that’s the next question: why has she had so many husbands? 

There could be several reasons. Maybe the woman married men who died in accidents -- or of poor health. But more likely, in a time of arranged marriages, if a woman didn’t produce babies or her husband found her lacking in other ways, he could divorce her, or say she was unfaithful and ruin her reputation. Something to think about on this International Woman's Day.

We don’t know much about this woman's circumstances, but clearly something happened that leaves her feeling vulnerable to the judgment of others. 

So she’s very surprised when the man at the well starts talking to her. Jesus could have ignored her, and probably should have according to Jewish law, but he breaks the rules and asks for the woman's help. He’s thirsty. Her response is maybe a little annoyed and sassy: “Do I really have to remind you that you shouldn’t be talking to me?” 

But Jesus keeps the conversation going, and offers something to her. Living water sounds mysterious! And wouldn’t it be wonderful if she didn’t have to walk to the well in the heat anymore! But hey, he doesn’t even have a bucket to get his own water, she reminds him. They seem to be poking just a little bit of fun at each other. 

Until things get serious and Jesus invites her to bring her husband. Yet even though she is likely shamed by her community because of her many marriages, she somehow senses that she can tell Jesus the truth, sort of, so she does, maybe feeling a bit anxious about his response. 

Surprisingly, he tells her all about her life, remarks on her honesty and says no more about all those husbands. He’s just not interested in shaming her further. He simply invites her to a deeper relationship with God. And when she talks about God’s anointed one, the Messiah, Jesus tells her who he is, something he hasn't admitted to very many people thus far. 

Then the disciples show up. Maybe they’re surprised that Jesus is talking to the Samaritan woman, but they don’t ask questions. Why not? Maybe they know that Jesus isn’t afraid to go against the norms when it comes to leading others away from shame to healing. They've seen that his ministry is all about that. 

So, the three things we can learn from this story? 

First, Jesus loves everyone no matter what, and treats everyone with kindness and respect. He loved the woman no matter how many husbands she had. He loves you and me no matter what we might be ashamed of, and Creator wants us to be honest about our struggles and joys. God wants to hear about them whenever we pray. 

Secondly, God isn’t interested in shaming people. Maybe we grew up with a punishing god who throws thunderbolts (like I thought would happen if I swore as a little kid), but that god was just a threat to keep us in line. Our True Creator wants our honesty, and to give us good things like the living water that is eternal life. 

And thirdly, when it comes to love, Jesus bends the rules. For you, for me, for everyone because he’s all about spirit and truth and goodness and beauty for our lives. The bible is full of examples of him teaching unexpected things: Love your neighbour. Pray for your enemies. Forgive as many times as it takes. The first will be last (I like that one). The last will be first (even better). And if we’re going to become true children of Creator, we need to bend the rules, too, toward love and acceptance and service of others whether we understand them or not. 

So let’s practice these things. Let’s start our own little conversation with the man at the well. 

 

I invite you to sit as comfortably as you can. If you are able, straighten your back, put your feet solidly on the floor, take in a deep breath and let it out slowly and quietly, emptying your lungs completely. Let's do that again. 

Now, find a quiet place in your mind where Jesus is waiting for you. 

He asks how you are doing. What will you tell him? What does he say? Let your conversation with him flow. 

You can tell Jesus anything and everything. Be honest with him. See his smile, and the kindness and love in his eyes. 

When Jesus praises you for your honesty, how does that make you feel? 

Give your worries over to Jesus. Imagine him holding them gently in his hands. 

Give him your joys too.

Is there a person or a group of people in your life that is hard to love right now? Ask Jesus to help you to forgive and accept them, to bend your own rules toward love. 

Before you return to this space, thank Jesus for listening. Does he give you a hug? A fist bump? 

Let’s pray together: 

Thank you, Creator, 

for sending Jesus to teach us 

that you are all-loving and all-forgiving. 

and that your deepest desire is to free us from shame 

and satisfy our thirst for your goodness  

in all the corners of our lives. 

Help us not to judge others, 

but to treat them with respect and compassion 

that helps them to see your presence in us. 

+Amen

The song below, one I haven't heard in many years, came into my head as I was moodling just now, and I had to go looking for it. Anushka Edgard's version is simple and lovely. Though I don't know where Anushka comes from, I think she's quite young, and she certainly has a pretty voice. Enjoy.

Sharing our Sanctuary of Peace newsletter

Pastor Quinn offering necessities at
Tuesday Table Time. We are so
grateful for the donations we share --
and "little hottie" toe warmers!!

There's been a lot going on for Inner City Pastoral Ministry. In January, I took some time to work on a self-evaluation of my first year as pastoral associate, and was pretty amazed at the list of things that happened in that year. There's been lot of change for our community, which is soon to be known as Sanctuary of Peace -- once we get the name change finalized with banks, CRA and province. We're jumping through those hoops, slowly but surely.

In the meantime, we've put out a newsletter for our friends and supporters, and you can find it by clicking here if you're interested. I especially appreciate the first page, Pastor Quinn's reflection on the ecumenical aspect of what we do. I was delighted to nominate him for the ecumenism award pictured, and even happier to see him receive it. His impromptu speech when he received it, some of which comes through in his article, impressed everyone present to hear it.

Being part of the Sanctuary of Peace ministry team has been a huge blessing to me. The fourteen or so people with whom I work, and the many interfaith and interdenominational volunteers we see every week, not to mention our wonderful community members, fill me with great hope and joy. 

If you need a little dose of that and want to join me downtown on a Sunday, send me a message. I'm happy to bring a friend or two along.

Why do we need Safe Consumption Sites?

"Get rid of the safe consumption sites and just put those druggies in rehab." 

This sentiment can be found across Canada, mainly among people looking for easy answers and who have little understanding of addiction. It's been on my mind a lot lately, ever since the January 22nd memorial service held for 223 community members who died in the heart of Edmonton between March and December of 2025. 

223 vulnerable people. 

I took my guitar and sang a song for those 223 people, and by the time I sang the last note, my whole body was shaking from the sorrow and injustice of so many needless deaths.

223 sisters and brothers who died of causes related to homelessness in a wealthy province.

People who struggled just to live with trauma in a society that would rather pretend homelessness doesn't exist. People without homes, found dead on a park bench, in a stairwell, in a public washroom, on a sidewalk.

Many (but not all) of them killed by addiction to drugs laced with fentanyl or other poisons.

A better sentiment - a two meter sign like this
hung in our worship space for a time

I'm not a first responder, but whenever I go down to Sanctuary of Peace these days, I wear my naloxone/narcan kit belted to my waist because I just never know when it will be needed. 

Some of our community members use marijuana, thinking it's the most harmless substance they can have to feel happy or peaceful in spite of their homelessness, trauma, and other struggles. Unfortunately, if they buy it on the street, they don't know what else might be mixed into their dope.

Safe consumption sites, if we had more of them, would reduce the death toll that is on the rise among drug users in general. For one thing, using drugs in a SCS means that people are being monitored so that if they need medical help for a drug poisoning, they get it immediately. For another, such places are often the first opportunity for people to get help. They mean a person has second, third, fourth... well, as many chances as needed to break substance addiction. It's rarely one-and-done. It takes time.

The best time to encourage someone to get rid of any addiction is when they are hitting bottom, when they recognize that they can't stand it anymore and that it might kill them if they don't kick it. SCSs are places where health and community workers can offer people with addictions the opportunity to turn their life around. 

Through the use of methadone, suboxone, and other drugs that substitute for addictive substances and that can be reduced gradually, users can get a taste of life without addiction and seriously consider getting into rehab and supportive programs that help them stay sober. SCS counsellors can also connect people to other helpful resources to improve their life situations.

Unfortunately, it seems the average Joe/Jane doesn't know this, and there are many who think that shoving people into mandatory detox programs is the best plan, but nothing could be further from the truth. A person needs to be ready, to actually want to change their life, or their chances of rehabilitation are pretty much nil. 

Too many people pushed into detox before they are ready -- sometimes by well-meaning friends and family -- fall back into their old ways, and often end up dead of drug poisoning because they return to their addiction mistakenly thinking they need the same dosage they were on before rehab.

Better to keep people with addictions alive and safe until they are able to freely choose the road to wellness and get the wrap-around supports they need. Better to have Safe Consumption Sites.

I don't know how many of the 223 people we honoured on January 22nd were victims of addictions. Our government has stopped keeping stats, I suspect because they don't want the public to know the truth of this crisis, and they like the idea of forcing people into detox.

So I wear my naloxone kit, as do many others in the heart of Edmonton, and continue to speak out about the need for Safe Consumption Sites, housing, and other forms of care for the vulnerable among us. And maybe I'll write yet another letter...

Thanks for reading.

Sunday Reflection: You are the salt and you are the light

Today's reflection is brought to you by

Matthew 5: 13-19.

Here's the reflection I gave at our Sanctuary of Peace morning prayer service today.

* * * * * * * 

I love salt. On Friday, I baked honey whole wheat bread and almost forgot to add the salt. Fortunately, I tasted the dough and was able to fix my mistake or it would have tasted very bland. When we talk about someone as “the salt of the earth” we are saying that they are straightforward, honest, the kind of people who add zest to life. We’re paying them a compliment. 

I also love light, especially in these dark winter mornings when I get up and light a candle to pray. Light is one of Creator’s best inventions, pretty much the first thing that happens in the Bible. God says, “Let there be light!” and it happens. When we say, someone “lights up a room when they walk in,” it’s another compliment. 

But it’s not always easy to be the salt of the earth or the light of the world, is it? In our human condition, we all have days when it’s easier to snarl than smile, or to be like this:  

Suffering is part of our human existence, and when we suffer, life becomes flat and tasteless. Sometimes it’s hard work just to keep going. I’ve been there, I know. I’m guessing we all know what it’s like to want to crawl into a dark hole and stay there. That’s why I need this pep talk from Jesus every time I hear it. 

You are the salt of the earth, he says. Who me? 

You are the light of the world, he says. Not me! Not when I'm feeling like this. 

But he insists on it. And honestly, I don’t want my life to be like salt that is trampled underfoot. I don’t really want to live in a dark hole, either. If I tell myself that, I’m lying. I mean, it’s okay to sit in darkness for a while, because healing can happen when I take a break. But what I eventually need is somebody to care enough to help me out of my dark hole. 

Jesus is doing that by his encouragement here, though sometimes I also have to talk to the God-with-skin-on people that I’ve spoken about here before, so they can help me. Do you have someone like that in your life? I hope so.

Did you hear what Jesus says about the torch? He says “No one hides a torch under a basket but puts it high on a pole so all in the house can see by its light." He says, “Let your light shine so that others may see the good you do and give glory to Creator.” Jesus is reminding us that there are others around us, too, and that our light touches others when we let it shine. And those others might need our light, even when it seems dim, when we know we're not at our best. 

Following that thought, I’d like to share with you an experience that I had when I was in the darkness. I can’t exactly replicate it here, but I can invite you to use your imagination. 

Sit as tall and as comfortably as you can, feet on the floor if that works for you, and take a deep breath in, letting it out slowly and quietly. It will work best if you close your eyes, but if you’re not comfortable with that, just relax your body, and listen to my words. Let your breathing be gentle and natural.

Imagine you are sitting on a cushion on the floor in a very dark room where you can’t see anything… But you’re not afraid… the room is warm and comfortable, and you know that you're safe… 

In the darkness, you sense that there are others around you, but when you stretch out your arms, all you find is empty space... 

Suddenly, somewhere ahead, you hear a match strike and a small light blazes, then dims. It’s hard to see, but it is there… 

Focus your attention on the dim light… After a moment, you realize that it is slowly increasing just a little… 

Soon you can see the silhouettes of three people at the front of the room who each have a lit candle in front of them… and the dark shapes of others sitting on the floor around you… 

The three candle bearers remain still, but three others stand and begin moving among the group, passing something out… and soon you have an unlit candle in your hands… 

Everyone returns to their places… and after a moment of absolute stillness, the three with lit candles reach out to light someone else’s unlit candle… 

Light is passed from one to the next, and soon comes to you from a friend you recognize… 

They smile at you as you light your candle… and you smile as you pass your light to someone else… 

A gentle, clear voice says, “Rise to your feet... You are the light of the world… Lift your light high and look around you…” 

Everyone in the room raises their candles over their heads, and the room glows even more brightly…

You realize you are surrounded by your favourite people, and they’re all smiling… 

The voice says… "No one lights a candle to hide it but raises it up so that all can find their way. Let your light shine so that all can see the good you do, and give praise to God…" 

You stand in the glow of the room, surrounded by smiling faces, wondering if heaven might be like this… 

Take a moment to tell God how you are feeling… 

I invite you to gently open your eyes and return to this space, and to pray with me with some of the words from Psalm 112 as we heard it earlier: 

Help us to know you, 
O God of Wisdom. 
Help us to be salt and light in our world. 
In Your love is the power to calm the storms of our struggle and suffering.
Help us to remember that your love is in us too, for others. 
O, that we might learn to bless others selflessly, 
to be a silent blessing for all by letting our light shine for them!
Help us to know You, 
O God of Wisdom. 

+Amen

A small life lesson

Never trust a thrift store jigsaw puzzle.

2026 Word of the Year

Last year's Word of the Year, teamwork, turned out to be an excellent choice, as I experienced many opportunities to "high five" people in my life for so many things we accomplished together. Had I moodled pictures of all those moments, there would have been twice as many Simple Moodlings in 2025, and images of working with many different people, doing everything from making music, to moving a ministry, to planting/harvesting a garden, to bagging 200 lunches when no one else would... and lots more teamwork moments!

The first occurrence of this year's Word of the Year was on January 5th during my online morning meditation group. Our leader, William, posted a few paragraphs from author Richard Wagamese's book, What Comes From Spirit, and the final line hit me immediately:

I remain in slack jawed wonder at the richness in my life.

I repeated those words to the online community when the virtual floor was opened for sharing, saying how much I agreed with that sentiment. But it wasn't until my spiritual director, Ruth, (who also attends the online group) asked me about whether I had chosen my word of the year yet (she knows about my Words of the Year) that I realized WONDER is definitely the word for 2026.

Wonder at our beautiful skyline
made me take this picture 
during a dog walk!

Wonder has been following me around for weeks. I felt a sense of wonder (the noun) throughout Advent and the Christmas season at so many things: frost on a window pane, the softness of our puppy's fur, the beauty of fresh snowfall, the way my and other people's minds work, how friendships grow or wane, the thought of tulip bulbs under all that snow preparing to bloom in May, the miracle of love, the financial generosity of Sanctuary of Peace friends, and how people came together (Synagogue, Lutheran Church and chain restaurant) to make our Christmas celebration something special!

And I wonder (the verb): How our societies worldwide have become so divided, and how we can bring unity back. How we've forgotten that everything is connected, and how we can remember that what hurts or heals you also impacts me. How we rely on all of earth's ecosystems to work together and how we can work together to protect them. How truth can return to guide our world in all things, even when it might be easier to accept lies...

And I see so many wonderfull (adjective --misspelling intentional) things going on around me: Small churches bringing bag lunches and winterwear to homeless people in need. Neighbours pushing neighbours' stuck cars out of snow ruts (due to more snow falling in a week than our city usually plows in three winter months). My little cousin's hockey team advancing toward the u18 Girls' International semi-final (tomorrow) -- Go Haley, and Team Canada! The ever-increasing  daylight as we move further into this new year... and I could go on...

Do you have your own Word of the Year? For me, slack jawed wonder abounds. Perhaps this year I'll remember to post pictures more often. May wonder follow you around in 2026!

Prayer and Tai chi combined... my New Year's Resolution

New Year's Day slipped by almost two weeks ago without any sort of acknowledgement here on Simple Moodlings. I've missed at least the last three New Year's days that way, as my moodling habits have decreased quite a bit since 2019. I'll blame covid for that, ha! It changed so many things in our lives, didn't it? I know I've become less of a social butterfly and more a homebody, and really, that's okay. We all do what works best for us, and if we're lucky enough to have extra energy, for others in our circle of care, in our community.

Anyway, I usually pick a Word of the Year and skip the New Year's Resolutions, but this year, I'm doing both. I'll let you know my Word of the Year soon, I promise, but today I'm sharing my New Year's Resolution, part of which I did all through Advent, and the other part of which my achy body told me to start on January 1st.

I've been doing a fair bit of spiritual exercise with an online morning meditation group, and my quiet mornings with them and a candle in the winter darkness also inspired me to return to Pray As You Go, an online podcast created by the Jesuits in the UK, most episodes usually around a dozen minutes long. Their Advent reflections were the perfect thing for me in December

I first learned the Taoist form of Tai chi back in 2008, and have been doing it on and off ever since, enough that the 108 moves are part of my body's muscle memory. Which means that I can almost do it on autopilot. But last year, my first as pastoral associate for Sanctuary of Peace and having Remi-pup join our family, I kind of forgot about any kind of exercise other than walking and gardening. Tai chi happened only sporadically.

So after a very cold Christmas season with less exercise than usual, I realized that it might be a good plan to combine my daily Pray As You Go session with some Tai chi. Some years ago there was some sort of kerfuffel about "Christian Yoga" in fundamentalist church groups who felt that any kind of Eastern influence creeping into personal spiritual practice was a problem. But for me, the combination of gentle movement and gentle spiritual/Ignatian meditation are a perfect way to keep both body and soul in shape. They almost match in terms of how many minutes they take, and if I get mixed up in my movements, oh well, I can always back up and try again. 

So far this year, I've managed to do "my combo" every day except Sundays, when I have to be downtown early for Sanctuary of Peace service, and it's been a good thing for combatting the stiffness and achiness that seems to be my morning companion most days lately. 

Do you have a combined physical/spiritual practice in your life? How do you keep body and soul moving together in these deep winter days? I hope that you are well, and finding your own best practices to keep up your spirits in these early days of 2026. I'd love to hear about them if you're inclined to leave a comment or send an email to simplemoodler @gmail.com.

Monday Music Appreciation #68: Breathe In by Peter Mayer

There are always lots of songs floating through my head, and this one made an appearance again this morning. I've loved the music of Peter Mayer since my friend Charleen sent me Holy Now, which I suspect I've shared on Simple Moodlings at least a half dozen times. 

This one, Breathe In, is a perfect morning stretch/meditation. See if you don't agree.

Email subscribers who don't see the video can click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJ0horvBHWc 

Enjoy!

Sunday Reflection: You are God's Beloved

 Today's reflection is brought to you by

Matthew 3:13-17 and Psalm 29.

Happy New Year, friends! It's been a busy end to the old year and start to the new, and my moodlings have been mostly in my head of late, but a few will escape the old noggin in the next few days with any luck. 

I thought I'd start 2026 with my first reflection of the year offered to the Sanctuary of Peace community this morning. It's a timeless message, one that we need to hear over and over as children of God.

* * * * * * *

Today's gospel is a story I can really relate to. We see John the Baptist, the prophet who prepared people to meet Jesus by baptizing them and inviting them to repent and change their hearts, the guy who said he was unfit to untie Jesus’s sandals. And John tells Jesus exactly what he thinks. Basically, “You’re God, and I’m supposed to baptize you? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?” 

John does what I often do. That is, he second-guesses God’s plan even when Jesus, who is God, tells him what’s up. And I admit that when hard or unexpected things happen in my life, I second-guess Creator a lot, too. There have been many moments when I’ve turned to God and said, “Are you sure about this? Because I’m not sure I like your plan, and I think my idea might be better.” 

For example: when I was in High School, I came down with a weird flu bug that wouldn’t leave. Eventually, I saw my doctor and he told me that my pancreas had stopped working, that I had insulin-dependent diabetes, and that I would be injecting insulin for the rest of my life unless a cure comes. No big deal, right? Wrong.

My initial reaction was disbelief. And then I said to Creator, “Why me? What on earth are you thinking? I’m seventeen and suddenly have a chronic disease? Now it’s needles every day, check my blood sugars all the time, stop drinking Coca Cola, my favourite, and be careful about exercise?” 

My second-guessing went on for about eight years in that I was always trying to cut a different deal with Creator (“Please God, make someone invent a cure!”) or I had long periods where I tried to pretend that I didn’t have diabetes and ended up eating stuff that was bad for me, gaining 30 pounds, and feeling really rotten. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, all that stuff. 

But eventually I came to accept diabetes as part of God’s plan for me. I got used to living and eating differently. I had to be extra careful about my health when I was pregnant, sometimes taking eight shots a day, and I needed good diabetic control to raise my kids. No low blood sugars allowed when you're driving babies around!

Years later, I can see that my diabetes is actually a gift to me -- and my family. I had to cook healthy meals, and my kids are mostly healthy eaters because of it. I learned to balance diet, exercise, and rest in a good way. And I know I could have ended up with bigger health issues than diabetes. Creator’s plan for me hasn’t been so bad after all. 

Creator’s plan for all of us is good, though it might not seem like it sometimes because we can’t see God’s Big Picture. Maybe some troublesome thing that happens today will change our lives for the better somewhere down the road. 

Did you notice the words of Psalm 29? To recap: Creator will bless all people with peace. She is power and love. His compassion breaks oppression and injustice. They want us to dance in freedom and exuberance like the young bulls of Mount Hebron, kicking up our heels. God wants to strike love into our hearts and strip away our untrue selves so we can live in in truth and peace! 

And how do we know these things? In today’s reading, Jesus experiences Creator’s love firsthand for all of us. As Jesus comes up out of the water, he hears God say words that God says to each one of us: “This is my child, my beloved one. I am delighted with you.” 

Creator is delighted with all their children, all of us in this space, all of us in this world. God made each one of us to reflect their face to everyone else. Even when our lives are complicated and messy, when there’s bad news, when we can’t understand why or how people can be so cruel to each other, why wars are raging, where justice is hiding, God is always in us, and delighting in us, and hoping that we notice their delight and start living like we feel that we are beloved. 

So let’s rest in our beloved-ness for a few moments right now. 

Take in a deep breath, and let it out slowly and silently… 

Sit straight but relaxed if you can, and just follow your breathing for a moment… 

Think about your heart beating gently in your chest, the heart fashioned by Creator that keeps you alive… 

Think about your hands and how they serve you… 

Think about your feet and how they carry you… 

Your body is a gift from Creator, and you are wonderfully made… 

Imagine Creator speaking these words to you: 

You are my child, my beloved one. I am delighted by you… 

I hold you in the palm of my hand. You are my child… 

I am always with you. You are my beloved one… 

I will strengthen you and help you. I am delighted by you… 

You are my child, my beloved one. I am delighted by you… 

What do you want to say to God in silent response? … Take as much time as you need...

I invite you to bring your awareness back to this room and to open your eyes. 

We give you thanks, 

Creator, 

for making each of us your child. 

Thank you for calling us your beloved. 

Thank you for the way you delight in us. 

Remind us, 

when life is difficult or when we forget, 

that you are there for us, 

that you are our strength and our help. 

Teach us to be open to your love, 

and to love as you do. 

Help us to live always knowing that we are your special children, 

to receive your love and delight, 

and to share it with those around us. 

+Amen.

Monday Music Appreciation #67: O come, O come

Yesterday was all about Joy. But this morning, I'm feeling the effects of Bondi Beach and Brown University happenings. I had thought to share something from Handel's Messiah, but this somehow seems more apropos. The beauty of the arrangement and the voices singing touches something deep in me.

The yearning for God-with-us, Emmanuel, becomes very strong when we are faced with these kinds of tragedies where innocent people die because of... what? There seems no good explanation.

 I spent a lot of time listening to this beautiful choral piece this morning. May it bring you some consolation and an impetus to push for a world without violence, where God's Wisdom reigns.

Email subscribers, please click here to listen to the video. (My apologies that I can't figure out how to make videos appear in your emails, but you can always go directly to the moodlings webpage by clicking the link at the top of the email where it says "visit https://simplemoodlings.blogspot.com/.")

Sunday Reflection: A Sunday about Joy

Today's reflection is brought to you by 

Isaiah 35 in its entirety... 

But before I spoke to the Sanctuary of Peace Community about Isaiah, Chuck, Evan and I sang a slightly adapted version of John Michael Talbot's Magnificat, Holy Is His Name:

With Edmonton’s weather as it is right now, the words of the prophet Isaiah seem like a dream, don’t they? And that’s exactly why we need these words. We’re stuck in a very cold and dark time of year, and this message is one of joy and hope. Wilderness and dry land will be glad! Even the desert will rejoice and blossom! There will be singing! 

And not only that. People who are feeling weak and feeble will be given strength. Those who live in fear and struggle will receive courage and all that they need to walk Creator’s good road. Why and how will all of this happen? It will happen because Creator will be completely in charge. Every year She gives us this season of Advent, and today, the words of Isaiah and the words of Mary, Jesus’ mom, remind us that injustice will not have the last word. He, God, is going to save us. 

 And not just us. Creator, Jesus and Spirit, they are going to save everybody else, too. We rarely consider how lonely high and mighty people who lock themselves into certain ways of thinking and being must be. Daryl Katz’s billion dollars don’t seem to be buying him or anyone else happiness, they’ve just made him hungry for more. 

But in Creator’s world, even people who are blind about everything but themselves will have their eyes opened, and their hearts will change to receive joy. 

 Those who are deaf – to the cries of the world around them – will hear, and turn toward community, and find joy in building meaningful relationships and caring for others. 

 Lameness of heart and soul for those who are greedy, unkind and selfish will be healed too, when they learn the joy of sharing and loving the way God does. 

 Imagine the joy in that, in Creator’s world, when everything that is wrong with this world is repaired, and everyone is living in harmony and peace! 

This Joy Sunday, this rose Advent candle reminds us that joy is meant to be a part of life not just in the future, but right now. Mary’s song that we just sang is a song of joy. Some people would argue that Mary didn’t have a lot to be joyful about. She lived in a time when the Roman Empire was controlling everyone’s lives, and her own life was extra challenging. Maybe part of the reason she went to visit her cousin Elizabeth was to get away from family who were cranky about her unwed mother-to-be status.

 But the words that pour out of her mouth aren’t complaint or misery. They are words of rejoicing, because Mary knows that God is good, and on her side. She is a messenger of joy! 

Mary sings that Creator’s promises extend to every single one of us, and her baby was born to help us all understand how much God loves us and wants to live in each one of us. And if we let God fill us, we can be messengers of joy, too! 

So today, let’s get in touch with the joy that Creator wants for each one of us. 

I invite you to take a deep breath in, and let it out gently and slowly. Let’s try to straighten our backs, put our feet on the floor, and let our arms and hands relax. Maybe let’s close our eyes because we are safe in this Sanctuary of Peace. 

Now, imagine that you are standing under a grey sky on the edge of barren, brown land, full of rocks and dead brush, and not a single sign of life. 

 It’s cold, and nothing moves, but you notice that the ground is wet from a fresh rain. Can you smell it? 

As you wait, the sun comes out. A warm breeze arrives and touches your cheek. 

 You look down to see a small green leaf emerge at your feet like magic, and when you raise your eyes, you realize that the landscape is changing, visibly turning green and lush. The brush that seemed dead is now putting out tiny flowers of different colours. Even the rocks seem to glisten and glow. 

 Life is suddenly everywhere, with birds singing and animals coming to drink from puddles that have formed after the rain. 

From over the hill, you hear laughter, and music. A group of people is coming along the path toward you, a lively bunch. 

 A young woman leads people of all ages and nationalities along the path. She is the happiest of them all, carrying a tambourine and leading them in a song about God’s goodness. 

 As she sings about how the blind will see, the deaf will hear, the lame will leap for joy, and old or weak ones will receive courage and strength, people in the crowd sing back joyfully, discarding their canes, hearing aids, and walkers. The celebration only increases. 

As she reaches you, the young woman invites you to join in. “Perhaps this is what heaven will look like,” she tells you, “but we can rejoice here and now because Creator loves us so much and has given us life! All shall be well.” 

Can you feel her joy? 

 Remember a moment in your life when you felt joy. 

 Take time now to give thanks for that moment. 

Is there anyone in your life who brings you joy? 

Send up a prayer of gratitude for them now. 

Can you recognize Creator in your moments of joy, and within your heart at this moment? 

Speak to God about your feelings. 

 Invite God to bring you joy in this Advent season. 

As we open our eyes and return to this space, let’s pray together: 

Creator, 

You are the source of all good things. 

Be with us, especially on this Joy Sunday. 

Help us, like Mary, to see your goodness in our lives and rejoice in it. 

Make us your messengers of joy, as she was, 

And give us hearts that remember to always be grateful. 

 Amen.

Sunday Reflection: Staying awake, or constant awareness?

Today's reflection is brought to you by 

Matthew 24: 37-44.

As were the days of Noah, so will be the coming of the Son of man. For as in those days before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day when Noah entered the ark, and they did not know until the flood came and swept them all away, so will be the coming of the Son of man. Then two men will be in the field; one is taken and one is left. Two women will be grinding at the mill; one is taken and one is left. Watch therefore, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming.

But know this, that if the householder had known in what part of the night the thief was coming, he would have watched and would not have let his house be broken into. Therefore you also must be ready; for the Son of man is coming at an hour you do not expect. 

(For months with a 5th Sunday, Pastor Quinn takes a break from preaching, so this is what I shared with the Sanctuary of Peace Community this morning...)

Today is Hope Sunday, the First Sunday of Advent, the season that leads us to Christmas. I love Advent, a time of hopeful waiting, and its small bits of light, one candle at a time to dispel the darkness of these winter days. The growing of the light from the Advent wreath beautifully represents the way hope grows... into peace, then joy, then full-fledged love, which is Christmas, God-with-us. 

 But in today’s gospel reading, Jesus’ words make me feel a little uneasy. I can count the 24 days of Advent, the days left before Christmas. But how many days and years are there before I meet Creator face to face? 

Uncle Rudolph

 Yesterday I drove to Saskatchewan and back for my Uncle Rudolph’s funeral. His death was a surprise to me. I expect it might have been to him, too. Saturday morning one week ago, he got ready as usual to go out to his farm land, but somehow never made it. It seems it was his time to go to God's house instead. And Jesus reminds us today that those washed away by Noah’s flood didn’t know their time was coming, either, nor can any of us guess when our time will be. Life and death are unpredictable, aren’t they? 

 But I don’t think that the end of the world or our own deaths are the only things Jesus is talking about here. Some Christians like to think he’s referring to something called The Rapture, where some people will go directly to heaven and others will stay behind because they're not good enough. A strange thought when we know that Jesus says to all of us in John’s gospel, “In my Father’s house are many rooms, and I am going to prepare a place for you there.” 

 Is Jesus warning us to be ready for the end of our lives when he says, “Keep awake, therefore, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming”? Or could he also be saying, watch out because God isn’t just on the way, God is already here, right now, and with you at every moment. Watch for God always! 

 Constantly staying awake to our own lives and Creator’s presence might not be something we give much thought, but you can bet it was something Jesus did all the time. Those of us who have been enjoying Thursday Morning Movie Madness and watching The Chosen this fall have seen Jesus portrayed as one who is very plugged in to God’s presence. When he opens his eyes in the morning, before anything else happens, Jesus says something like, “Blessed are you, Creator of the Universe, for you have given me another day to open my eyes and see your goodness.” When Jesus sits down to eat, he blesses Creator for food. When he goes to sleep, he blesses Creator for giving him the day he just had. God is always on his mind, and with his spirit. 

 I'm guessing none of us have Jesus's constant awareness of God, but these are things we can all do. We just need to take the opportunities as they come. Ever think about thanking God when you see a friendly face? Or a perfect little snowflake on your sleeve? Ever chat with God when things are going well, or when they're not? Ever acknowledge God while you’re washing your face, walking through the snow, or just saying hello? 

 Jesus is our model when it comes to connecting with God. In the Gospels there are many examples of him just bursting out into prayer in all sorts of situations. He brought God into everything he did. And if we do like Jesus did, when we reach the end of our lives, we’ll have no worries because Creator is our closest friend. God won’t feel like a stranger to us if we’ve invited him into everything we are doing, saying, thinking, and feeling all along our journey. And if we invite her to use our hands and feet to do their will, even better! 

 So let’s practice. Let’s invite Creator into this moment, not that an invitation is necessary. But don’t you like to be invited into things? 

 I invite you to settle as comfortably as you can into your chair. Set your feet on the floor and straighten your back if you are able. We’re together in this Sanctuary of Peace, so close your eyes if you like. You're safe here.

 Relax your shoulders and hands, and just rest in stillness and quietness. Breathe in and out, and feel the air God gives you to keep you alive flowing in and out… Our breath is gift. 

 Imagine an empty chair facing you, and invite Creator, or Creator’s son, or Spirit, to have a seat there...

 Feel their loving gaze upon you. Rest in the warmth of their smile... 

 In your heart, speak to God about something that gave you joy this week... 

 Then share something that made you sad or angry. Notice God’s sympathetic expression... 

 Tell about the smallest thing you noticed. Does Creator nod in agreement, marveling along with you?

 Thank God for something that you appreciated. Hear God say, “You’re welcome, my beloved one.”

 God is smiling upon you, and reaches out to take your hands. How does it feel when God holds your hands? 

 As your time with God comes to a close, they say, “I love you, my child. Remember that I’m here for you, always ready to share in your life.” 

 Gently open your eyes if they were closed, and bring your awareness back to this room. 

And we’ll pray together: 

Thank you, Creator. 
Thank you, Jesus, 
Thank you, Spirit, 

 for being with me in all that I think, do, or say. 
Help me to remember that You are always with me, 

 so that I can include You,  
and share with You all the important moments in my life, 

 and even the unimportant ones. 
Bless me with an awareness of Your presence that helps others to see You, too. 
Make me a sign of Your love to others, 
 and use my hands and feet to do Your will. 

 +Amen

And thank you, Creator, for Uncle Rudy and the life of faithful and loving service he lived for family, friends and community. His warmth and kindness live on in his family -- grant them peace and consolation in their time of sorrow, and joy when they meet him again where he waits for them, likely singing with the angel choir and/or setting up a game of cards or bunnock for everyone to enjoy! 

Uncle Rudolph, I will miss you. I'm sorry that I never got your name the way you liked it best.

Love always,
Maria

The blue wagon goes missing

Cold weather is arriving this week, colder than we've had yet this fall. And when you're homeless and trying to survive in the outdoors, temperatures below zero are always an issue; warm clothing a must.

A replacement wagon?

Fortunately for Sanctuary of Peace and our Tuesday Table Time ministry, we've been receiving a lot of good winterwear, snacks, handwarmers, and toiletries "survival kits" from friends who know about our street ministry. Every week, we wait outside Bissell Centre East to meet those who live on the streets or in shelters located nearby. We offer them basic necessities, often things donated to us, that folks can't afford to purchase for themselves.

A few years ago, a friend donated a blue canvas collapsible wagon that we've used to transport a lot of Table Time supplies. We've guarded it carefully because we know so many of our folks would love to have it for their own use. We've often heard, "Is that wagon up for grabs?"

and received a lot of good-natured teasing when we said, "No, we need it or we can't set up our table next week."

Even so, the wagon suddenly vanished. We realized it was missing on Sunday because we usually fill it with left over cardboard boxes after we pass out the 200+ lunch bags supplied by our supporting communities. Its absence was felt again today because we had more than the usual Table Time supplies to offer folks ahead of this coming cold snap. We did a big search for our missing wagon, with staff at the Bissell Centre helping as well. Pastor Quinn also checked with the Provincial Navigation Centre across the street. 

No luck.

The wagon was very much missed for the hour and a half that we managed to give away piles and bins of good warm clothing, snacks, toiletries and gloves (we never have enough gloves for everybody). I and others made extra trips to and from our office, juggling boxes in our arms as we tried to navigate door handles. Good thing I did my Tai chi this morning to warm up those muscles!

Unless our wagon turns up this week, which we highly doubt, we're on the lookout for a new one, and/or anyone who might like to contribute toward it.

I've priced them out, and a good collapsible wagon (we don't have a lot of storage space) costs more than $100, more like $150. It has to have a heavy-duty metal frame, with good wheels that can roll down the corrugated metal ramp from our office to the street. Cheaper wagons with tiny wheels or a box that isn't sturdy enough to carry our bins and boxes just won't cut it.

If you're looking for a way to support folks living rough in the heart of the city, cash donations to Inner City Pastoral Ministry (our old name) will help us to buy a new wagon -- or, if you prefer, gloves, snacks and other winter items that people really need right now. Click here for a link to our website's donation page. E-transfers can be sent directly to icpmgiving @gmail.com, and tax receipts will be issued by our board treasurer.

Any amount helps. Our arms and backs will be much happier when we can use another wagon, and our friends on the street are always happy to receive Table Time assistance, whatever form it takes.

Monday Music Appreciation: Salt then sour then sweet

I hadn't heard of poet Andrea Gibson before they died of cancer in July, but my social media blew up that day, and I soon discovered what an amazing poet and human being they were.

Brandi Carlile and Sara Bareilles released a gorgeous piece of music last week with one of Andrea's poems and some video clips. It seems to contain all of life's "feels." Here it is for you to enjoy.

Just for today, imagine...

... arriving in kindergarten in new clothes your mom bought especially for the occasion, but feeling like they're all wrong somehow.

... preferring to play with kids of the opposite gender, and being shunned by those of your assigned-at-birth gender for it.

... feeling your parents' disapproval for refusing to wear "the right clothes." 

... hating your body when you reach puberty because it's taking a shape that doesn't match who you know yourself to be.

... being bullied and made fun of by other kids because you can't fit in with the image of your assigned-at-birth gender.

... wishing you could play sports on the opposite-gendered team because your sense of competition matches better with theirs.

... being afraid of your parents' reaction if you tell them that you're feeling depressed and anxious in your body, that you are wanting to transition in some way.

... "coming out" as a trans person at school because it feels safer to try your real self out among supportive school mates than at home.

... not "coming out," just flying under the radar and feeling scared and alone because no one can know the real you, only the mis-gendered you.

... considering killing yourself because it's too hard to pretend to be someone you're not.

... talking (or not talking) to your favourite teacher, telling them about your feelings and your desire to change your name, and feeling supported and safe with them (or unsupported and afraid because of possible repercussions).

... being told by other adults that you are just going through a phase, or that you've been brainwashed by the "Trans Agenda," or that God made only two genders -- "He made you as you are and He doesn't make mistakes."

... going through a period of severe and debilitating depression and dysphoria, until your parents insist on getting help for you when you tell them everything.

... going through a period of severe and debilitating depression and dysphoria, telling your parents why, and being kicked out of the house.

... starting hormone therapy, and feeling for the first time like things are changing for the better.

... following your heart bravely, with (or without) family support, doing what you have to do to feel "right" within yourself. 

... changing your name officially to one that fits you. 

... finding a Gay Straight Alliance or other supportive group of other 2SLGBTQIA+ people who make you laugh, support you, and share your interests.

... navigating many medical hurdles and hurtful human judgments, battling gender dysphoria for years while on a lengthy waiting list for the medical care you need. 

... completing the psychological assessments and painful surgeries necessary to become who you know yourself to be.

... rejoicing in a body that finally fits you, but still worrying about the violent tendencies of those who judge you and refuse to even try to understand.

... sitting in the gallery of the Alberta Legislative Assembly, angry tears streaming down your cheeks as the government tables legislation preventing other people from being able to do what you have done to survive and thrive as a transgender person.

* * * * * * *

Today is the Transgender Day of Remembrance, a day when we remember those people who have died due to the harms caused by a society that feels uncomfortable because some people just don't fit into the expected gender boxes.

As a Catholic mom of a trans person, and someone who knows other really wonderful trans people, I can't sit in silence. My church's refusal to allow for the existence of trans people has driven me to its edges, and to a more inclusive faith community. And the government is even worse -- this has been a horrifying week for the trans community as they watch their human rights being eroded by the Alberta government's invocation of the notwithstanding clause, preventing court challenges against anti-trans legislations that endanger kids like mine.

Even one life lost because of these laws is one too many.

If you know any trans people, be sure give them your support and love today, and consider contacting your own government representatives to let them know that Trans Rights are Human Rights that you support, wherever you may be. 

Superhuman? Maybe not

Lee and I collected a lot of leaves from our neighbours (with permission) on the day before the city's designated leaf and yard waste collection at the beginning of November. I never did count how many bags, but I'm guessing it was well over sixty.

The next day, I took the dog for a big morning walk, and went out after lunch to put the garden to bed. It seemed a daunting task -- moving those bags of leaves around, loosening up soil in our garden boxes, and then covering the boxes. 

Bare soil is dying soil, or so say many soil scientists -- beneficial microbes, worms, and insects that help rejuvenate dirt and create compost need protection through our harshest seasons -- and the rest of the year, too. That's why my yard has leaf litter covering the soil all year long. It can look a bit messy, especially in the spring before the plants fill out, but it's better for them overall and I don't have to water as much when it's hot.

Here's the yard after two hours of work. See the beds against the back fences covered in leaves? 

It's kinda hard to tell, 
but that's probably 250 sq feet of soil work and coverage.

I used some leaf bags to fill our leaf corral to the brim, 

and stored a dozen others for next year's composting.
Two hours and another 250 sq feet later, it looked like this:

I ran out of steam when it came to packing leaves around my front yard rose bushes, but figured it was okay to leave that job for the next day. When Lee got home from work that evening, he was surprised at how much I'd accomplished, and I teased him that he has a superhuman wife. 

Of course, that evening I had to take ibuprofen. Somehow I don't think superhumans have such sore muscles after an afternoon of heavy yard work, but I'm not as young as I used to be. 

When it snowed three days later (more snow than what you see below as I took this picture after it started melting on Saturday), I was happy that the garden was tucked in for the season. We'll start all over again in the spring, hopefully with happy, healthy, and moist soil. Time to enjoy more indoor pursuits in place of gardening!

Sunday reflection: Control is an illusion

Flowers from my sisters
after this week's scary time...

Today's reflection is brought to you by Luke 20: 27-36.

Today was my turn to lead morning prayer at Sanctuary of Peace. Here's what I shared with the community:

Even to our 21st century ears, the question the Sadducees are asking Jesus in this morning’s gospel reading sounds like a bad joke with a strange punchline! I mean, what is the likelihood that a woman would marry a guy with six brothers only to have him die, then marry each his brothers in turn, only to have the same thing happen again and again. Highly unlikely! 

My husband has three brothers, and if anything happened to him, I wouldn’t want to marry them no matter what the Sadducees' rules were. They are not my type, and I’m not theirs! Thank heavens my partner is alive and well, and that the Sadducees’ rules don’t apply to me! 

But the Sadducees theoretical story and the rules about marriage brought up other things for me. The imaginary woman in their story had no control over what happened to her because of the religious rules of the day. Women had no choice but to do what authorities like the Sadducees said, and they were all men, which also wasn’t fair. And while we'd like to say that things have changed, for a lot of women around the world, that’s not the case. We’re bound by rules, written and unwritten, that men have made.

But that’s not my main point here. My point is that none of us, no matter our gender, have as much control in our lives as we like to think. The idea of control is an illusion we offer ourselves – until something blows that illusion to smithereens. 

Accidents happen. People die. A friend of mine was recently fired for no reason. Another friend’s marriage ended. Things valuable to us are lost or broken. On Thursday, someone I love very deeply experienced a medical crisis, and all I could do was hold on to her and pray as medical personnel worked on her. She came through okay, but I’ve never been more afraid in my life. And I'm still afraid that other things may go wrong for her.

So the Sadducees’ silly story raised a couple of big questions for me this week. How do we feel when we don’t have control over situations in our lives? And what do we do with those feelings? 

I have a few methods for handling life when things are out of my control. Sometimes I bottle up my feelings and try to push my way through situations as if they don’t really exist. Or, I get really scared and angry and lash out at people around me even when it’s not their fault. Other times, depression and hopelessness can bring me to my knees. 

Sometimes I need to sit down and ugly cry for a while, or stand outside on a windy day and swear loudly at God. Ever done that? It's quite therapeutic, and God has big shoulders -- They can handle it. I’ve also been known to try to make deals with Creator, saying, “If you can improve this situation and give me back some control, I’ll do big things for you too.” Ha, like I can do big things for God!

But few of these “coping mechanisms” actually help. It’s only when I can really let go of my anger and fear and need for control, when I am able to accept an uncontrollable situation with some grace, that I can find relief and feel more peaceful about it. Jesus, in the garden of Gethsemane, is a good model for this. Facing his death, he somehow managed to say, "Not my will, but Yours be done" to God. Jesus stands in solidarity with all of us when we don't have control over life's situations. But I'm not as good at this as Jesus.  

Jesus didn't complain, or let people walk all over him. He stood up against injustice when he could. But his example tells me that when there’s nothing I can do, I need to cry and grieve and let go of my need for control; to turn the situation over to Creator, who holds us all together, who holds together this universe we live in through love for all that is. 

I need to to say that famous prayer, God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. 

That’s when I remember that Creator sees each and every one of us as Her beloved. He cries for all the ways human beings judge each other and treat each other unfairly with arbitrary rules that favour some people and hurt others. Creator wants what’s best for each one of us, but They don’t hand it to us on a silver platter. God knows that we live and grow most when we learn to hand over control in our lives to the One who really knows what’s going down. When we can say, like in the prayer of the four directions, “we are little and need Your pity,” we can be freed from our need for control. 

But let’s go back to the Sadducees and their silly story. Jesus tells them, “You guys have it all wrong. You’re worrying about who is married to who in heaven -- which you don’t even believe in -- but Creator doesn’t care about all that. God welcomes everyone to the resurrection of the dead because they are like angels and are children of God, being children of the resurrection.” Creator made everything, and wants what’s best for all Their children. We just need to work with Creator to allow that to happen, even when things are out of our control. 

Allow me to repeat that: God wants what’s best for all of us. We just need to allow that to happen. Especially when things are out of our control. 

As I always do, I would like to leave an opportunity for everyone to rest a few moments in this Sanctuary of Peace, to have a conversation with Creator. 

I invite you to settle as comfortably as you can. Straighten your back, set your feet on the floor, close your eyes or lower them, and relax. Breathe in and out, slowly and gently. In… and out… 

Let go of your thoughts and make an empty space for God to fill you. 

Imagine walking into a room deep in your own heart, a room lit by a single candle. Creator surrounds you in this space, a loving presence, warm and enveloping. 

Just wait with Creator in the semi-darkness… Creator invites you to think about your life, and a situation where you feel like you have little or no control… 

Silently tell Creator about it… and how you feel about it… how you hope it might be solved… 

Creator makes no promises… but the candle burns a little more brightly as you sit together in the silence… 

As your time together comes to a close, Creator says, “I love you, my child. I only want what is best for you. Let go... and let me help you. Let’s work together toward your peace of heart and mind and soul…"

When you are ready, return to this space… 

Let’s pray together: 

Creator, 

We thank you for your presence in our lives, 

especially in those situations where we have no control. 

When we are afraid or angry, 

feeling helpless or hopeless, 

remind us that you are with us, 

and that you want neither suffering nor distress to harm us. 

Help us to trust you. 

Help us to believe in your love. 

Help us to let go. 

Give us your peace when we need it the most. 

Give all your children peace. 

 +Amen

Monday Music Appreciation #65: A beloved opera melody

I haven't been posting moodlings very frequently over the last while, though I'm always composing them in my head as I move through life. I guess I've gotten out of the habit of sitting at my laptop where moodling happens most easily. Also, I am more than a bit perturbed by the way AI bots are mining my blog for ideas (for example, the image I made to accompany my moodling from April 8, 2021 is now a t-shirt in 10 different colours if I am to believe the internet, ugh -- and without my permission, or Louise Penny's!). It's enough to make me want to pull the plug, period, on Simple Moodlings. I'm realistic enough to know that no one would really miss it! (Except maybe me.)

But old habits die hard, and I love sharing music (and other ideas) so here I am with another Monday Music Appreciation moodling. A few weeks ago, I was blessed to sit in the Winspear Centre audience for a gorgeous evening of Opera's Greatest Hits. So much fantastic classical music, and to top it all off, the second last piece was Giuseppi Verdi's Va Pensiero, the chorus of the Hebrew slaves from Nabucco. It's a wonderful example of lament, longing, and hope, and gorgeous Italian that I can sing to this day because my brain holds onto strange things, and my Up With People cast performed it for a solid month when we travelled through Italy. It was a real crowd-pleaser. On that evening two weeks ago, I sang along quietly with tears of joy and delight rolling down my cheeks.

But today, the video I'm posting below is a part of my own lament:

-- for homeless people who are dying on our streets because government refuses to invest in appropriate forms of harm reduction.

-- for decisions being made that take us further into climate change rather than away from it.

-- for teachers forced back to work without having their concerns addressed, and for all people caught up in the so-called "affordability crisis."

-- for migrants and others who face prejudice and oppression just because their English is accented and their skin is not white.

And though I could go on and on about the things I am lamenting today, I'll end on a lighter note:

-- for the Toronto Blue Jays, a truly cohesive team who won the hearts of Canadians, sports fans or not, even though they lost the World Series this past Saturday. Next year, boys!

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate -- fly, my thoughts on gilded wings, toward hopeful solutions to the world's ills, toward trust that somehow, all shall be well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vA0wLGb92fs&t=1s

Sunday Reflection: All my tears be washed away

Today's reflection is brought to you by 

Isaiah 25: 6-8.

On this mountain the Lord of hosts will make for all peoples 

    a feast of rich food, a feast of well-matured wines, 

    of rich food filled with marrow, of well-matured wines strained clear. 

And God will destroy on this mountain 

    the shroud that is cast over all peoples, 

    the sheet that is spread over all nations; 

God will swallow up death for ever. 

Then the Lord God will wipe away the tears from all faces...

This morning we celebrated All Souls' Day at Sanctuary of Peace. It was a very meaningful service in more ways than one. Pastor Quinn gave a beautiful reflection on the reading from Isaiah, and offered everyone present an opportunity to come forward and light a candle in memory of loved ones who have gone "home." Our community of low-income and homeless folks know so many on the other side of the veil... one of whom just passed beyond the veil this morning due to a fentanyl overdose. The drugs out there right now are at a level of lethal that ends lives and breaks hearts far too often.

As part of the service, Pastor Quinn asked for a special song, All My Tears, written by Julie Miller. Julie's version, which you can hear by clicking this link, has an aching rawness (perhaps because she can sing an interesting dissonance) that really appeals to Quinn, who met her in his past. Julie and Buddy, her partner, do things with this song that Evan and I can't carry off, and not just because we don't have drums and electric guitar at our disposal. Emmylou Harris's version is even more haunting in my books. There's just something about her voice...

It was tricky to learn this song in the short time we had, but Evan and I managed to sing something a bit closer to the video below, put together by Wild Blue Yonder, an excellent Appalachian bluegrass band. Of course, they can apply a few more gorgeous harmonies than us two Sanctuary musicians, along with wonderful fiddle, banjo, mandolin, etc...

On this All Souls' Day, I hope that you can imagine your loved ones who have gone ahead singing these words to you, and find comfort in the God who intends that we'll all be home and we'll all be free, with all our tears washed away.