Monday, May 26, 2025

Monday Music Appreciation #60: A plea for the broken hearted

I had a really beautiful birthday weekend, including a profoundly moving sweat with friends out near Maskwacis, a back yard barbecue with favourite friends and family, and a beautiful worship service with the Community of Emmanuel on Sunday morning.

I could pick many different kinds of music from those events, but the song below is the one on my heart. We sang it several times as a refrain to the prayers voiced by the community yesterday morning, and it always opens people's hearts to share. Even those who didn't share left anonymous notes for us, including one that asked prayers for her deceased kids and a brother who died last year, and one with a pen drawn image of a heart in pieces and these words:

I am so sad and alone all the 

time. Everyone I need keeps on 

dying on me. I don't know what 

to do. I'm so lost.

So today's prayer/song is the one we sang yesterday (click here if you're an email subscriber). If you listen, keep these anonymous ones in your heart, that they may be consoled somehow...

Wednesday, May 21, 2025

Where I have been

A short break on the shore 
at Lake Wabamun last week
I've been all over the place for the last while. Not so much locationally, but head- and heart-wise. There's been a lot happening, and I'm finding that I don't have the kind of time I've been accustomed to for moodling online. There have been many things I've wanted to tell my moodlings readers about, but...

Life is good, just busier than it has been in years. I'm still working part-time at the Winspear Centre for Music, though not as much as before I started as associate pastor with the Community of Emmanuel downtown. It's quite a juxtaposition some days, handing out lunches to inner-city folks living on the streets in the mornings, and guiding wealthy symphony patrons to their seats in the evenings. The downtown community and orchestral music both feed my soul so I can live with the contradictions.

Taizé music is still feeding my soul, too. We had a beautiful prayer on Sunday night, and we are looking forward to our Pentecost Prayer, being held June 15th at St. Luke's Anglican Church, a week later than observed by the Canadian church because we have a special friend coming for a visit. Ceci is a flutist extraordinaire, and played with us regularly when she lived in Canada some years ago. She's coming to Edmonton from Schwabach, Germany, for her Pentecost vacation, and it's going to be a beautiful prayer with her flute descants singing above our voices! Plus we'll have her joyful presence staying with us for a few days, too.

Sundays seem to be my busiest day of the week, which makes sense for an associate pastor. I'm up at 6 a.m. because we start setting up our worship space and sound system by 7:45, getting the coffee going so we can welcome the community by 8:45 (earlier if it's cold or raining). Some Sundays we have two services, the second at a Senior's Supportive Housing facility, which has a wonderful little community that offers us lunch afterward (even looking after Quinn with gluten free food). Sundays are very special, and I'm really enjoying working with Evan, my fellow musician who can play almost any hymn in any key, and who is introducing me to a lot of new sacred music. Sometimes we get our folks up and dancing! If you ever want to join us, let me know!

I'm taking Mondays as my day of the week to try to catch up to myself, my "day off" from all those "shoulds" that I put upon myself. Mondays are for meeting my spiritual director online once a month, writing emails, catching up on my journal, and yes, moodling (this is being written on a Monday). I've also joined a 7 a.m. online morning meditation group that is wonderful (when I get to it). It runs every day but Sundays and Wednesdays. If you are interested in joining an online contemplative community, let me know.

Tuesdays are usually the day that I join Pastor Quinn at "Table Time" downtown. We offer the toiletries, snacks and clothing we receive as donations to the folks living on the streets in Boyle-McCauley. If you're interested in helping us out by donating snacks or packages of men's and ladies briefs, sizes small, medium and large, you can always send an email via the email address under my profile on the sidebar. You're also welcome to join us to meet the community on Tuesday mornings.

Wednesdays I like to go for a walk with my neighbours and Remi-pup, who is turning out to be a good little walking buddy. He had a bit of a time lately with the "cone of misery" after he was neutered, and is overjoyed to be free again. He loves to follow the neighbours' big dogs on our Wednesday walking route, and especially loves the wilder trails in the river valley. On Friday night we had to fence off our garden, as he is no respecter of planted raised beds and tore through my onion sprouts a few times just for the joy of it!

Thursdays are Inner City Pastoral Ministry's 11 a.m. Bible Study for anyone who is interested, though it's not your typical chapter and verse kind of thing. We've been watching Netflix's The Bible and A.D.: The Bible Continues. Its writers and producers made interesting choices in what to include and exclude from portraying the stories of the Good Book from Genesis to Revelation, and it's always interesting to see what comes from our discussions with our downtown friends. Some haven't been exposed to many Bible stories, but a few know the Bible better than I do!

And Fridays are a mixed bag. Sometimes we have a team ministry/music meeting. We're collecting music for a new hymnal, and there's always liturgy planning to do. Once a month,  our Women's Group meets to talk about feminine spirituality and this past Friday, we learned about Teresa of Avila and her book The Interior Castle. Usually, the ladies have a colouring page to enjoy as we discuss things, and we have lunch together before going our separate ways. We're all looking forward to the Women's Wellness Weekend that's coming up May 30th - June 1st at the Star of the North Retreat House in St. Albert, a special break from daily life in the inner-city. There will be workshops and time for crafts and quiet reflection, all of it a real treat for our little community A fair bit of my spare time is connected to planning for it right now.

With all these things going on, my gardening time is squished in here and there... but I did manage to start my own greenhouse tomatoes and peppers, a friend gave me some tobacco plants, and I bought my annuals this past weekend. My kids and Lee are putting together a birthday party for me with friends and family this coming weekend, so I don't think our garden will be fully planted until after the new moon. The farmer's almanac says that's the best time to plant anyway -- the roots will fill out underground first, and the plants above ground will start reaching for the full moon in two weeks' time.

So that's your Moodler's life in a nutshell... once the Women's Weekend is over, things will settle into a more relaxed summer rhythm, I'm hoping, and I might actually get to weed my garden! To make life even more interesting, Lee is going back to work part time starting this week, but with Remi keeping us walking together, we have plenty of dog-walking time to connect.

If you feel like connecting with me, dear readers, I'd love to hear how life is treating you these days. I read all comments and emails, and respond when I can! I hope all is well with you!

Monday, May 19, 2025

Monday Music Appreciation #59: A beautiful river

This has to be one of my very favourite pieces of classical music. It's known as The Moldau, composed by Bedřich Smetana as part of a symphony in honor of his homeland, now known as Czechia, formerly Czechoslovakia. 

This part of the music tells the story of the river Vltava as it begins with two rivulets (hear the two flutes at the beginning?) that become a stream and eventually a beautiful river that flows through the countryside. The music evokes a country wedding on the river's banks, a moonlit dance of water nymphs, castles and ruins looking down over the river, a series of rapids, and the river's widening (it flows through Prague) before it empties into a larger river, the Elbe. The rising and falling melody carried by the strings at 11:20 of the video below have always thrilled me in a way that I can't explain.

My sister and I had the joy of listening to the Edmonton Symphony Orchestra perform this piece recently, and its beauty brought tears to my eyes. This video (click here, email subscribers), with its recorded version from Raphael Kubelik and the Boston Symphony of 1971 and its gorgeous images, is the next best thing. 

If you can listen with headphones for the full experience, I recommend it! Enjoy!

Wednesday, April 30, 2025

MCWC #24 Sister Wind

Pope Francis in his Papal Fiat, July 2022
On Sunday evening, Lee and I watched Conclave, a most interesting movie that came out last year, and thoroughly enjoyed it. If you haven't seen it, I recommend it.

Seeing the movie reminded me of a short story I wrote some years ago, one that I had pretty much forgotten, one that makes me say, "I wrote this??"

At the time of this story's completion, I was in the thick of reading and moodling weekly commentaries on Pope Francis's encyclical, Laudato Si: On Care for Our Common Home. Rereading this story on Monday, I had forgotten the unexpected surprise when I looked up more information about Pope Francis once the story was finished. It felt a bit mystical, somehow, and still does -- see the comments under the story below... 

Pope Francis, of all who have sat in the Chair of the Successor of Peter, you have been my favourite. Rest in peace, dear brother.   

MCWC #24  Sister Wind
March 2013 - March 2016
 
 Julio had always loved the wind. From the time he was a boy, he and his little sister, Alejandra, would go out into the hills on a gusty day, and find a vantage point where they could watch the trees move and feel the wind’s breath against their bodies, sometimes so strong that it would hold them in place as they held hands and relaxed against it. 

 Somehow, Julio always thought of the wind as a friend, no matter how it howled around his home at night. A secret friend, for he told no one about his special relationship except his sister, who understood. 

 The wind had been present for all the important moments in his life. The day Julio was born, a strong gale blew his papa home from work in the fields. The midwife scolded Papa for letting in such a gust of autumn leaves, and handed him his newborn son as his other children gathered around to gaze at the family’s fifth addition. 

 Five years later, Julio’s sister, Alejandra, was born, on a day even gustier than the day Julio arrived. Alejandra had Down Syndrome, and she was the light of Julio’s life. When she was able to sit, he would put her in a wagon and take her everywhere, and tell her stories about the wind. 

 When Mama died suddenly when Julio was ten, he fled into the hills, where the wind gently caressed him, dried his tears, and made him feel that perhaps his mama hadn’t gone so far away after all. That was the day Alejandra got lost while looking for him, and the wind carried her cries to him. 

 Julio was seventeen when Padre Tomas invited him and Alejandra into the churchyard for cake and coffee. As the padre asked Julio if he had ever thought of being a priest, the wind played with their napkins and clattered their spoons. 

 Julio’s ordination day was the windiest June day he could remember. The first women coming out of the church doors had to turn around for their hats, which had lifted off their heads and sailed back into the nave. Standing on the steps outside with the Bishop, his new robes flapping, Julio almost laughed. That wind! 

 He was sent to be priest in a village a few miles from home. Riding his bicycle around his country parish, Julio delighted in the days when gentle breezes inflated his cassock, though it made for harder pedalling at times. He made certain to be at Sunday supper each week at Papa’s house, where his older brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews, would tease him about his adventures of cycling and recycling souls. 

 When the bishop invited the bright young cleric to go to a seaside university to learn more theology, Julio was in his glory. Every afternoon when classes ended, he and his new friend and classmate, Alfredo, would go for walks along the shore, their lungs full of wind and their hearts full of happiness. “Sister Wind is strong today,” one or the other of them would always say. They loved to learn, and to challenge one another on points of sacred wisdom as the salty breezes carried their voices down the beach. When they finished their studies, the two friends pledged to remain in contact once a month, and to remember one another especially on windy days. 

 Upon returning home with his Ph.D in Theology, Julio was invited by the bishop to go with him to visit a southern seminary in a region where people were poor but their love for God was great. When the bishop asked Julio if he would be willing to be pastor of the local parish and professor of theology at the seminary, he hesitated. It would mean being far from his family, and from Papa, who had aged considerably while Julio was at seminary, and was almost blind. Alejandra had gone to live with an older sister, Jacinta, and Papa was alone, though his sisters took turns cooking their father’s meals every day. 

 Seeing the young priest’s hesitation, the bishop asked Julio if his father was a gardener. “Yes – though his eyes are poor, he has manos jardineros,” Julio replied, surprised at the turn the conversation had taken. 

 “Perfect,” replied the bishop, as a sudden breeze raced down the corridor when someone opened a distant door. “Father Jorge could use the help of a fine young theologian, so we’ll have a professor and a gardener here, two for the price of one.” 

 And so it was. Until his father died ten years later, Julio lived and worked at the seminary and in the local parish. The bishop came to Papa’s funeral, as did many of the young priests who had studied under Julio and regarded his father with great affection. As they walked the road from the cementerio back to the seminary chapel, a gentle breeze followed Julio and his brothers and sisters. 

 The bishop took Julio aside to ask if he would consider coming back to the city as chancellor for the diocese. “Please, come and help me,” the bishop said. “I’m not as young as I used to be, and I would like to have a son of my own to assist me in my work.” Julio stopped on the path, feeling torn, watching the young priests and seminarians walking ahead. But a sudden gust of wind brought his stole up against his cheek, and he laughed. “All right, all right,” he said. 

 A blustery gale pushed him from the post office to the Chancery one morning. Perhaps that had something to do with the fact that Julio wasn’t surprised when the bishop called him into his office to read a letter that had arrived from the Vatican in the morning’s mail. “It seems the Holy Father has decided that I will finally have my retirement, and if it is God’s will, you will replace me,” the bishop smiled, handing Julio a second letter addressed to him. 

 Bishop Julio was already well-known and well-loved by many of the people of his diocese, and he loved working with his people. Confirmations were his favourite celebrations, because he could imagine the Holy Spirit swirling around the young people as they approached to be anointed, just as Sister Wind was always dancing around the basilica. 

 And then one day, Sister Wind stopped visiting Julio. It was hot and sunny, not a breath of air anywhere. The papal nuncio had come to town with a letter from the new pope who had just taken office, asking Julio to become cardinal in a large city across the ocean. The man he was to replace had died suddenly, leaving scandal, financial disarray, and crises in faith as his legacy. 

 The hot weather went on and on, and though Julio looked for cooling zephyrs from the hills and lake, there were none. He considered saying no to the Pope’s request, but his prayerful discernment was clear even without brash breezes pushing him in any particular direction. He swallowed hard, said goodbye to his family, and kissed Alejandra, who understood his hesitation. “El viento le seguirá,” she whispered in his ear. 

 But the wind didn’t follow Julio. He assumed his new role, a difficult one, in a palatial but ancient air-conditioned building in a fully paved, sun-baked square in a country far from home. People were mistrustful and suspicious of him because he was a foreigner, and the work he had to do was discouraging and unsupported by his staff, many of whom had to be asked to leave because of dysfunction and corruption. When he visited the many dioceses under his care, he found the churches empty, the bishops apathetic, and the pastors weary and disillusioned. 

 ** 

 Even so, Julio carried on with his work, reaching out to the people of his new country, recommending the pope appoint wise bishops in the place of foolish ones, caring for the poor, encouraging youth, and extending invitations to those who had walked away from the Church for one reason or another. But even the slightest waft of wind was gone, and after several years of questioning his perception of reality, Julio knew that something was seriously wrong. 

 Early on, he voiced his concern to his friend, Alfredo, who had wisely agreed to accept the chair of one of the foolish bishops on Julio’s side of the ocean. The wind had not come into their conversations for some time. But almost as if he could read his mind, Alfredo began that evening’s phone call with, “Hola, my holy cardinal friend, how is Sister Wind treating you these days?” 

 “Sister Wind?” asked Julio. “She is not here, my holier bishop friend.” 

 “No wind? How is that possible, Julio? Are you so chained to your desk that you don’t get out to meet her?” 

 “I swear, Alfredo, there is not a breath of anything resembling a breeze here. There hasn’t been so much as a draft since I was called to be a cardinal. I’ve commented on it a few times, and people give me funny looks. They are always talking about the weather as if everything is perfectly normal, so rather than look like a madman, I keep quiet. Sister Wind has abandoned me, but no one else.” 

 There was a pause on the line, and Julio waited for Alfredo’s next smart remark. But to his surprise, Alfredo said simply, “Sister Wind is not here, either, though this lovely city on the coast should be full of her. I thought that perhaps I was going mad, but you are saying the same thing that I experience. My parishioners certainly talk about the windy days, but when I disagree, they look at me funny, too! I wonder, does anyone else in the world feel Sister Wind’s absence? 

 “Only my dear Alejandra,” Julio replied, smiling at the thought of her. “When I came to be cardinal, she said the wind would follow me here. I tease her about it all the time, telling her that she forgot to send Sister Wind after me, but she says she hasn’t seen her for months – since I left. She thought perhaps Sister Wind had abandoned her for me, and she was okay with that. Now she’s just worried.” 

 Alfredo sighed. “To be honest, I haven’t seen the wind since the day you called me about giving my name to the Pope as a potential bishop.” He paused. “Julio, are we losing our minds? Such a strange conversation. How is everything else going?” 

 The two friends chatted for quite some time, but as soon as the call ended, Julio phoned his younger sister. “Okay, Alejandra, let Sister Wind out of your closet!” he teased. 

 “You know that I haven’t seen her for months,” his sister replied sadly. “If she’s not with you, and she’s not with me, where could she have gone? Does Alfredo have her?” 

 “I’m afraid not. Does Jacinta ever comment on the wind?” Julio asked, knowing that his older sister loved to complain about the weather. 

 He could almost hear Alejandra shake her head. “No. It seems like I’m the only one who misses Sister Wind. I told Jacinta that I was missing her, and she laughed at me like I was a baby. If you find her, will you ask her to come back to me? At least a little bit?” she asked. 

 “I’ll do my best,” Julio promised, puzzled. But Sister Wind did not return. For months. 

 Even when the news came that the Pope had made a most unusual decision to retire and a conclave was called, she was absent. Julio made his way to the Vatican, inviting Alfredo to accompany him, and the two friends met in the airport in Rome. The men both noticed that the trees on the vias were still, and only the people moved in the plazas. The city was excited, waiting for a new pope and welcoming visitors from around the world, but two of those visitors were hoping to welcome the wind. 

 The evening before the conclave, deep into the wine, Julio said to his bishop soul mate, “Perhaps Sister Wind is telling me by her absence that I wasn’t supposed to accept the cardinal’s hat, or to ask the pope for you to be a bishop.” 

 Alfredo shook his head. “You prayed, you discerned, and so did I. It was God calling us, not Sister Wind.” 

 Julio smiled sadly. “Are they not connected? John’s gospel says that Jesus said, “The spirit blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes.” What if I didn’t understand correctly? How can I go into a conclave to choose a new pope if that wind – the Spirit – is not with me? It has been with me all my life. And now it’s not.”

 “Perhaps this is a dark night of the soul, my friend. Perhaps you are meant to go without Sister Wind’s consolation, so that you can really hear,” Alfredo suggested. “I will be out here praying, and if you ask Alejandra, she will pray too. Her prayers get to God quickest, of that I am almost sure.” 

 “Are you in the Vatican?” Alejandra asked when Julio called her. 

 “Not yet, but I will be tomorrow, in the Sistine Chapel where we will choose a new pope.” 

 “Do you think Sister Wind is in there?” she whispered. 

 “I certainly hope so,” Julio replied, also in a whisper. “Alejandra, will you do me a favour? Will you pray for the new pope, and for me?” 

 “I always pray for you; you know that!” she laughed loudly. “And I will pray for the new papa. Tell Sister Wind I miss her.” 

 The next morning, as the college of cardinals processed into the Sistine Chapel, Julio thought he detected the faintest breeze, but as everyone took their places, he realized he had mistaken the swishing of the cardinal’s robes for the thing for which he so longed. The papal master of ceremonies locked and sealed the great doors, and the men sat in the stillness of the hall of Michaelangelo’s famous frescoes.

 Julio looked up at images of God on the ceiling, and at all the men in the room, and smiled at the man sitting across from him, Cardinal Jorge, his old mentor from the seminary where his father had been the gardener, and the only other cardinal he knew well. Rumour had it that Jorge had been a strong contender in the last conclave. 

 As the prayers began, Julio closed his eyes and tried to imagine which of the men before him would be chosen as Peter’s successor. He opened his eyes, and as Jorge’s face came into focus, a page of Julio’s prayer book fluttered slightly. He stared at it, daring it to move again, but nothing more happened. His mind was playing tricks on him. 

 Julio was very surprised when his lot was chosen and he joined two other cardinals, one older and one younger than him, as the conclave’s scrutineers, but after that bit of excitement, the day dragged on. Prayer after prayer, conversation after conversation. One block of cardinals supporting this kind of leader, another, that. Julio managed to have several brief conversations with Jorge and discovered that in the time they had been apart, his mentor had continued to garner the kind of wisdom Julio deeply admired. When Jorge’s name came up at the bottom of the results in the first vote, Julio thought he heard a door slam somewhere. But there were several favoured names higher up the list, and the room was as still as ever. 

 During the prayers that followed the black smoke of the first ballot, Julio had a hard time keeping his eyes open. He stared at an arrangement of candles in the middle of the room and prayed internally, “Come, Holy Spirit, how shall I vote? I don’t know all these men whose names were listed. I only know Cardinal Jorge.” The candles flickered, and Julio’s eyes widened. “I only know Cardinal Jorge.” They flickered again. “Do you want me to choose Cardinal Jorge?” Again. 

 During the consultations before the second ballot, Julio began to work his way around the room, introducing himself to other men, and sharing his belief that Cardinal Jorge was the Holy Spirit’s choice, though he kept silent about the flickering candles and his knowledge as scrutineer. Of course, he had been sworn to secrecy. 

 When the second ballot was counted, Jorge’s name barely figured but Julio’s own name appeared. In the prayers and ballot following, the candles burned steadily, and Julio gave up the silly notion that Sister Wind was giving him signals. He wanted nothing to do with being pope himself. He continued to meet the other cardinals between ballots and continually voiced his support for Cardinal Jorge. 

 During the fourth ballot, the fourth time Julio had voted for Jorge, it happened. Julio’s ballot card remained on his desk, but inexplicably, the ballots of more than half the cardinals flew into the wide aisle between the two sides of the room. Everyone was dumbfounded by the flurry of papers. Julio and the other younger scrutineer jumped up and gathered many papers in the aisle, and the older scrutineer collected the minority of papers that remained on the desks. When the two sets of papers were examined by the three men, it was discovered that the papers from the desks all bore the name “Bergoglio,” and the ones from the aisle contained other contenders’ names. 

 The three scrutineers didn’t know what to do with that particular secret, as it seemed to be an action of the Spirit. The oldest of them consulted with the Dean of the college of cardinals, who deemed it a supernatural event, since all had witnessed it, and the three scrutineers testified that they had seen the evidence, though it had already been burned for black smoke. The Dean made an understated announcement to the room full of men, reminding them that what happened in the conclave stayed in the conclave. 

 On the fifth ballot, as Jorge walked to the ballot box, his paper flew up into the air. It fluttered all the way to the Chair of the Successor of Peter, landing on its seat. Jorge’s face drained of colour, and he moved to retrieve it, but the Dean signaled that he should wait. When Julio and his fellow scrutineers counted the ballots already in the box, they found that all of them bore "Bergoglio." 

 The Dean announced, “It is nearly unanimous. Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio of Argentina has been chosen from among us.” 

 Bowing his head, Jorge quietly walked up to the Chair of the Successor of Peter, winking at Julio as he passed. He picked up his ballot, walked back to Julio, and standing as straight as his 78 years would allow, he handed it to him, a small smile on his lips. Julio saw his own name written there. Then Jorge turned, bowed before his brother cardinals, looked up to the many images of God on the ceiling and said, “But I can’t vote for myself!” 

 The college of cardinals roared with laughter and approval. Then Jorge walked back to the papal chair, stood before it and said, “Would someone please open the windows? It’s very stuffy in here.” Then, rather than sitting on the papal throne and offering his hand for kisses, he stood as an equal to receive the greetings, hugs, and well wishes of his brother cardinals, as a gentle breeze blew through the room, joyously flipping the pages of Julio’s prayer book and ruffling his hair. None of the other cardinals seemed to notice Sister Wind’s return. 

 The newly-elected pope was whisked away to the papal apartments, and the rest of the men made their way to their cloister rooms. A smiling Julio changed into plain clothes and stepped out into a rainy, breezy Saint Peter’s square, giving a hug to the waiting Alfredo.

"Sister Wind has returned!" he exclaimed. Alfredo whooped with joy when he heard that Jorge would be the next pope. 

 Then Julio turned on his cell phone. “Alejandra, did Sister Wind come home?” 

 “Yes, Julio, yes! Before I even turned on the TV and heard about Pope Jorge!” 

 “I think Sister Wind knew she was needed here.” 

 ******* 

I started this story with the theme of “Wind” the week after Pope Benedict retired, the first week of March in 2013. Pope Francis was named two weeks later. I wrote up to the ** by March 15th, 2013, and didn’t complete it until three years later, when the world was reminded that Francis has been Pope for three years already. When I looked up Pope Francis just after completing this fictional short story, I was quite surprised to find the paragraph below on Wikipedia: 

Jorge Mario Bergoglio was elected pope on 13 March 2013, the second day of the 2013 papal conclave, taking the papal name Francis. Francis was elected on the fifth ballot of the conclave. The Habemus Papam was delivered by Cardinal protodeacon Jean-Louis Tauran. Cardinal Christoph Schönborn later said that Bergoglio was elected following two supernatural signs....

We don’t know what those signs were, but of course the faithful like to think that Pope Francis’ election was influenced by the actions of the Holy Spirit… 

March 25, 2016, the Feast of the Annunciation


Monday, April 21, 2025

Monday Music Appreciation #58: A song for Pope Francis

When I joined my 7 a.m. online morning meditation group today, I learned that Pope Francis had gone to eternal life, and I was kinda choked up for a few moments.

My affinity for this man began on March 13, 2013, when the results of the last conclave were announced and a humble, nervous looking, bespectacled man appeared on the balcony of the papal apartment and asked the world to pray for him. I wrote in my moodlings,

A dear friend of mine has often commented that what the Church and the world need is a new St. Francis of Assisi, someone who is simple and holy and sees the essential.

Having been a lifelong fan of that particular Francis, I was quite excited when the new pope's name was announced, thinking that anyone who would take the name of Francis of Assisi would be the reformer the Church and the world need in this era. Yess!!! 

          ...

We don't know much about Pope Francis yet, but it seems that he's a man who favours simplicity, and he has some pastoral sense if he's been telling his priests to baptize infants even if their parents haven't been married. I mean, it's not the child's fault that his parents didn't see the necessity.

So I'm going to reserve judgment, and just say, God bless Pope Francis.

And, come, Holy Spirit!

In the years since, I've spent a lot of time thinking with and moodling about Pope Francis thanks to Laudato Si, setting myself the goal of writing one moodling a week about sections of the encyclica l about Care for Our Common Home after it came out. It was a challenge that took me from July of 2015 to August 2016, and it turned out to be a good exercise for someone who wants to live simply, sustainably, and in solidarity with the poor of the world. It had an impact on me and our family's life, no question.

Some people feel Pope Francis was too lax, others, too strict. I wish he could have spoken more against the false sense of entitlement and injustices imbedded in western culture, could have pushed the Church further toward women's ordination and equality, could have welcomed our 2SLGBTQ+ children more openly, and could have advanced ecumenical and interfaith efforts further... but I'm willing to give him grace for the work he did in a Church that spans the entire globe and has so many variations and different understandings of Catholicism. He held the Church together for the past twelve years, a difficult task, to be sure.

So today's music appreciation is a Taizé chant that I've always loved, a prayer for Pope Francis from the lips of Simeon in Luke's Gospel. 

Go in peace, faithful Francis. Thank you for giving of yourself, and serving God's people to the best of your ability.

(Moodlings subscribers, click here for the video.)

Monday, April 14, 2025

Monday Music Appreciation #57: A Hosanna I'd never heard

I meant to tack this video (click here, email subscribers) onto yesterday's post, as it was the beautiful melody with which we ended our Palm/Passion Sunday service. (I learned it in a hurry.) 

Enjoy!

Sunday, April 13, 2025

Sunday Reflection: a Holy Week meditation

Today was my Sunday to offer a reflection for the Community of Emmanuel in our inner-city. Because our next service is on Easter Sunday, it didn't seem enough to just focus on Palm Sunday -- but we also didn't really have time to read the entire passion of Christ (we like to include time for a smudge and leave room for the prayers of the community, which were many today). We also didn't have any palm branches, so I braved water in my boots in a ditch near Leduc last week to pick pussy willows for the occasion.

As is my habit, after the Palm Sunday reading of Jesus riding into Jerusalem on a donkey's colt and a joyous Hosanna to the Son of David, I invited the community into a guided meditation meant to briefly summarize the rest of Holy Week from the Gospel of Luke's perspective. What follows here is the reflection I offered. May it be a help to your own observance of the week ahead.

* * * * * * *


I invite you to sit and settle in as comfortably as you can. Rest your feet flat on the floor, and relax your shoulders, your arms, loosen your hands. Straighten your spine if you can. Take a deep breath in and gently release it… If you want to, close your eyes, or lower them and relax their focus. Settle into your body and listen... 

In our imaginations, let’s walk through the week ahead with Jesus… 

Look. There is your friend, Jesus, riding a donkey’s colt, being celebrated by great crowds of people filling the streets and welcoming him to Jerusalem, singing Hosannas… 

There is your friend, Jesus, throwing over the tables of unjust merchants who are cheating the poor in the temple courtyard. The clatter of the coins on the pavement and the noise of the crowd rings in your ears. Jesus is shouting against those who turn religion into a money-making scheme rather than a way to help people know about God’s great love for them… 

There is your friend, Jesus, sitting across from you at a cooking fire where you are staying with all his followers and him. He is saying that God cares for you like a hen cares for her chicks, tucking them under her wing. He talks about how bad things may happen in life, but Creator is near to all who suffer. He speaks of God as a forgiving father who runs to meet you, who wants to love you. His words fill your heart, and he smiles at you… 

 There is your friend, Jesus, praying alone in the garden every night, getting up early to go to the Temple every day, telling so many stories about God’s love. Healing people. Listening to them. People are hanging on his every word, and you feel so proud to know him, so happy that he is your friend… 

 There is your friend, Jesus, kneeling at your feet with a towel and a basin of water. He smiles up at you, and your heart is full of gratitude for his friendship. He is pouring water over your dusty, dirty feet, washing them carefully and lovingly, and wiping them dry with a soft towel. His gentleness fills your heart with deep joy. “Serve one another, love one another,” he says… 

There is your friend, Jesus, sitting across from you at a meal, looking at you with a love like no other, passing you a chunk of bread, holding a cup of wine for you to take a sip of its deep sweetness. “This is a sign of my love for you and all people,” he says. “When you share food and drink together, remember me, and God’s deep, wide love for you…” 

There is your friend, Jesus, praying alone again in the dark of night, asking you to stay awake, but the excitement of the week and the Passover feast and wine make you sleepy… 

 There is your friend, Jesus, rising from his prayer of surrender to Creator, “Let your will, not mine, be done,” he says… 

There is your friend, Jesus, surrounded by soldiers and other people with torches, betrayed with a kiss on the cheek. He looks to you, his friend, both fear and courage in his eyes as the crowd hauls him away… 

Where is your friend, Jesus? Where are they taking him? You try to follow, but they rush him along, and you can’t see where he is in the middle of the mob. You run after him, but they take him into a large building, and soldiers prevent you from going in… 

Where is your friend, Jesus? It’s been hours of sitting in the cold courtyard, and the sun is rising. The crowd waits, and a man is brought out between two soldiers. He has been badly beaten, bloody, and he can barely stand, but he lifts his head and looks at you. Then another man stands on a balcony and says loudly, “What shall I do with this Jesus of Nazareth?” And many voices, some who sang Hosannas just days ago, shout, “CRUCIFY HIM!...” 

 There is your friend, Jesus, surrounded by soldiers, carrying a heavy cross along a winding street leading to the hill outside the city where he will die. He falls. You push through the crowds to be near him and lift him up. His eyes rest on your face and he recognizes you, but before you can say anything, the soldiers shove him forward again… 

 There is your friend, Jesus, being nailed to a cross. Hanging there in terrible pain. For hours. Hanging between two criminals, his blood running freely from his hands and feet and the crown of thorns on his head… 

There is your friend, Jesus, in deep agony. His pain is great, but even so, he looks with love at the women standing near him. He looks... with love... at you… 

Your friend, Jesus, speaks. He speaks from a heart of deep, deep, deep love, asking God to forgive those who brought him to the worst and most painful kind of death… 

He speaks to one of the men on the cross beside him, a man sorry for his crime, telling him, “Today you will be with me in paradise…” 

The wind blows, and clouds darken the sky… 

Your friend Jesus speaks one last time, in a loud voice, to be sure that God hears him, saying, “Creator, into your hands I give my spirit…” 

 There is your friend, Jesus, who was more than a friend. Who loved everyone, even those who hated him. Who laughed at your jokes. Who made the weak strong. Who helped the poor know God’s richness in their lives. Who gave sight to the blind. Who healed people, and raised them out of shame and misery and death. Your friend, Jesus, the most wonderful person you’ve ever met. The son of God… 

There is your friend, Jesus, being carefully removed from the cross. His mother reaches for him and holds him for a few moments, weeping and wailing for her son. The women with her gently take Jesus from her and wrap him in a long linen cloth, as tenderly as if he were a small child. Then everyone takes a corner of the cloth to carry him to a tomb. As you walk, the women sing a psalm of lament… 

There is your friend, Jesus, wrapped in a shroud, being laid in the tomb. Everyone moves outside, and works together to roll a great stone across the entrance… 

* * * * * * * 

And now, I invite you to gently return to this room. 

We are lucky. We know that there is a happy ending to this story. Jesus’ followers didn’t know that.

 In the week ahead, I think we need to stay with them, and with Jesus in his suffering, as he always stays with us in ours, and not rush to the happy ending just yet. 

 We can reflect on how Jesus knows what it is to be human, to struggle, to die, and we can offer our struggles to God like he did. We can forgive like he did. We can love like he did. 

 And if we spend the week ahead doing those things and remembering how Jesus gave his life for us, we can celebrate next Sunday with deep, deep gratitude and joy. That’s what I’m aiming for in the holy week ahead. 

 Let your palm or pussy willow branch be a reminder to remember Jesus’ love for you, a love that took him to the cross… and beyond.

Monday, April 7, 2025

Monday Music Appreciation #56: Tommy Emmanuel

I worked four nights out of five at the Francis Winspear Centre for Music last week, all excellent shows. But the one that really blew me away was the concert by Tommy Emmanuel, a 69-year-old Australian guitar miracle-man. I've never heard so much sound out of a single instrument! He joked that he's saving money on the band that doesn't have to travel with him, as in this video of Blue Moon (click here)

It was almost too much to take in at times, and I had the feeling that he could play mash-ups of any guitar music you care to name. Below is a mixture of Beatles tunes and Classical Gas, a guitar piece that has always amazed me. There are many more of his videos online if you want to hear more. My thanks to the person who posted this video. Enjoy!

Email subscribers, click here for the video below.

Tuesday, April 1, 2025

Not April Fool's jokes

I only wish it was an April Fool's Day joke.

But no, as promised, the Bissell Centre Community Space is closed today. It has been a place where vulnerable people who are homeless could access washrooms, showers, laundry facilities, a cup of coffee and a warm space to be together. 

Now it stands empty, helping no one, a criminal waste of resources that helped so many up until yesterday!

Simply because we have a provincial government who would rather pretend that it's solving the homelessness crisis by offering "navigation centres" that make people feel like they're being processed to go to jail, and shelters that are more problematic than helpful (read: unsanitary, unsafe, unstable) for too many people who have no homes.

The other horrible not-an-April-Fool's-joke is this business of taking snacks from children in cancer care in order to be more "efficient." Like a few cookies and crackers are going to balance the books???

Please remember these inhumane acts when the next provincial election comes around and vote out the UCP. A government that doesn't care for the most vulnerable doesn't deserve to govern. 

Monday, March 24, 2025

Monday Music Appreciation #55 : A little bit of Jim Cuddy

I've always liked Jim Cuddy's music, though I had never seen Blue Rodeo or him live until back in November when I worked his concert at the Francis Winspear Centre for Music. Now that I think about it, I was planning to post a song of his then, but somehow it never happened.

But today I am moodling about a very different song than the one I had thought about sharing back in November. Or maybe I'll put both songs up, so if you've heard the first, you can listen to the second (which I thought was really beautiful at the concert).

As a proud Canadian, I am deeply saddened by the unfolding chaos in the United States, and also extremely concerned about the threats to turn Canada into the 51st State. I certainly don't want to be governed by people who care so little for migrants, refugees, trans people, people who are homeless, gun control, healthcare, ordinary citizens who are struggling to make ends meet, employment, other nations' self-determination, and the list goes on... 

Billionaires and wanna-be oligarchs should not be running any part of this planet as they tend to believe that it's theirs to exploit and that they are invincible. But neither is true. 

I have many friends in the United States, most of whom are deeply disturbed by the trade wars, tirades, and insults bouncing around. We feel for each other, and I think Jim Cuddy's song, "We Used to Be the Best of Friends" (email subscribers click here) is a pretty good summary of what has been a good Canada-US relationship up until recently. If you haven't heard Jim's ditty yet, have a listen right to the last words. And if you have heard it, maybe you'd rather listen to his second song, "Wash Me Down" (click here). It's been around for at least 5 years, but it's a very pretty tune, in my humble opinion (and they did it unplugged on the Winspear stage in November, which was really beautiful!)

I hope you enjoy one or the other -- or both!




Monday, March 17, 2025

Monday Music Appreciation #54: A man named Pacho Flores

I had no idea what I was in for when I went to work at Friday night's Trumpet and Tequila concert at the Francis Winspear Centre for Music. Had I known, I'd have purchased tickets for my youngest kid, just turned twenty-five, who still plays the trumpet for their own enjoyment. Pacho Flores is a phenomenal trumpeter!

On Friday night, a junior high school from Winnipeg filled fifty-three seats where I was stationed for the concert, and the reaction of those kids was instantaneous with the final note -- their immediate standing ovation told me that they knew they were in the presence of a great musician, and the entire chamber was in agreement for several standing O's! 

Márquez's Concierto de Otoño has three very different movements that Flores played as if they were his favourite desserts. A little tomfoolery toward the end was a real audience pleaser. In the video below, the audience helps with Eine Kleine Nachmusik at 18:50, but fitting with the name of the Edmonton concert, we all got to shout, "TEQUILA!" with the melody by The Champs.

So today I leave my readers with Pacho Flores, the Venezuelan who impressed us all (the Edmonton Symphony was excellent, too, on Friday, as is the Minnesota orchestra here). Enjoy!

Friday, March 14, 2025

Worry less, hope more

I have yet to see Damien, the man I wrote about a few weeks ago after I learned he had lost all his fingers and one thumb to frostbite. Pastor Quinn and I went looking for him at his favourite haunt, the library, the next day, without luck. So Quinn sent him an email offering care and support, unsure if Damien would be able to reply. 

That same afternoon, Quinn received Damien's brief reply and forwarded it to me. It told us that Damien was doing well thanks to many prayers, the professionalism of nurses, and his own efforts to come through and be well. His optimism and gentle nature shone through his two sentence email.

The final line of it has become my mantra of late. It seems unrealistic and yet absolutely essential by turns as we see so much chaos, unnecessary suffering, and division in our world right now.

But if Damien, a gentle homeless man who has suffered a serious setback, can make this his motto, I can too:

"Worry less, hope more." 

Thursday, March 13, 2025

A snowy puppy's delight

We're at the tail end of winter, it's a snowy day, and Remi-pup loves snow. I do too, because it wears him right out, and I can get things done while he naps. He's napping now, and I'm sharing his delight with the fresh stuff that's covering the mounds of icy snow in our back yard. He's hilarious.


Monday, March 10, 2025

Monday Music Appreciation #53: The Great River from The Lord of the Rings

Have I mentioned lately that I love my job? (My job refers to my work as usher at the Francis Winspear Centre for Music, but my vocation is being associate pastor for Inner City Pastoral Ministry. I love them both! But it's the usher position I'm referring to today.)

This past weekend, I had the pleasure of working two shifts in a series of five sold out concerts featuring the music from The Lord of the Rings movie trilogy. The shows were amazing, featuring two hundred voices (made up of choirs Korora, Oran, Shumayela, and the Cantilon Chamber Choir), and nearly a hundred musicians in the orchestra, with over 100 instruments crammed on the stage like I'd never seen before. Soprano Kaitlyn Lusk Reddington had the perfect vocal range to sing the ethereal laments, and there were many goosebump moments as we listened to the music of Howard Leslie Shore, the Canadian composer of epic LOTR music. 

Here's a taste of what we heard, a choral piece that really moved me in its beauty and solemnity. Enjoy!

Email moodlings subscribers can click here.

Sunday, March 9, 2025

Sunday Reflection: Filling our God-shaped hole


Today's reflection is brought to you by
Luke 4: 1-13.

Our service at the Community of Emmanuel this morning was very special, due in no small part to Jesse's reading of the Gospel.

Jesse is a young man with a crew cut and horn-rimmed glasses who shows up every Sunday wearing a big smile. He sits close to the front if he can, and pays close attention to everything that's going on.

Today was my Sunday to lead a morning prayer service for the community, and I went to Jesse once he found his place at the front table with his coffee. "Do you like to read?" I asked him. "

"I read all the time," he replied.

"Do you like to read out loud for others?" 

"Yes," he said, his eyes flashing with excitement.

"Would you read the Gospel reading for me today?"

"I would love to!" he said.

When I called Jesse forward to proclaim the story in the Gospel of Luke about Satan's efforts to tempt Jesus after his forty days in the desert, he introduced himself, then said, "I'm not an actor. But there are two voices in this story, and you'll have to figure out which is which."

Then he launched into an incredible sharing of the story, complete with different postures and voices for the Devil and Jesus. It was all I could do not to laugh out loud with delight! Before I started my reflection, I leaned over the podium and said, "Oh, Jesse, that was incredibly good! Well done!" Had I been thinking, I would have led the applause like Jesse so often does whenever we sing.

Here is the reading Jesse read, slightly adapted from the First Nations Version of the New Testament:

From the river where Jesus (Creator Sets Free) was baptized, the Spirit guided him into the desert wilderness. There, for forty days, he would be put to the test by Accuser, also known as Satan, the evil trickster snake.

For forty days and nights Jesus ate nothing. His body became weak, and his hunger grew strong.

“Are you really the Son of Creator?” Satan hissed. “Prove it by turning these stones into bannock.”

“It is written in the Sacred Teachings,” Jesus said, “Bread is not the only food for two-leggeds.

Then Accuser, the evil snake, took Jesus up to a high mountain and, in a moment of time, showed him all the great nations of the world. “All of these, their power and beauty can be yours!” the snake said smoothly. "They were given over to me and I can give them to anyone I choose. If you will bow down to me and my ways, they will all be yours!”

“Go away from me, you evil trickster!” Jesus answered. “For it also says in the Sacred Teachings, “Creator is the only one people must bow down to and walk in God’s ways.

Then the evil snake took Jesus to Creator’s sacred lodge, the Temple in Jerusalem. He took him to its very top, high above the village. “Prove you are the Son of God and jump down from here!" The snake taunted him. "Don’t the Sacred Teachings also say, “His spirit-messengers will watch over you to keep you from harm. They will not even let your foot hit a stone?”

“Yes,” Jesus said, “But they also say, ‘Do not put Creator to a foolish test.”

Jesus had passed every test. The evil snake could think of nothing more, so he slithered away to wait for another time.

First Nations Version: 
An Indigenous Translation of the New Testament 
(Downer's Grove IL: InterVarsity Press 2021, ISBN 978-0-8308-1350-6).

What follows is my reflection on today's Gospel reading, a slightly different take than you might have heard in your own church... mainly because I was speaking to an audience for whom security, wealth and power are very hard to find.

* * * * * * *

When I hear this story, it’s not hard for me to imagine Satan, or Accuser, the evil snake, as a bully that just won’t get out of Jesus’ face. We’ve all run into bullies in our lives, right? Even if they don’t hurt us physically, they get into our heads and often make us feel bad about ourselves. And through my life I’ve learned that when I fall into negative thoughts and feelings, that’s Accuser at work, bullying me and making me forget that I am God’s beloved child. 

Now, just imagine that snake following Jesus around the desert for his entire forty days there, plotting how to drag him down. Then, when Jesus is at his lowest point, energy-wise, because he hasn’t eaten for forty days, Accuser, snake, the devil, or however you want to call it, shows up with three big temptations for Jesus. Security in the form of immediate food, then wealth, then spiritual power.

The Accuser snake thinks it has God’s superpowers, and tries to make God-like promises using sacred teachings to back them up, but because Jesus has been walking with, praying to, and trusting in Creator’s care for forty days, he is so plugged into his relationship with Creator, he’s not fooled.

Jesus knows that when God made human beings, inside every one of us, God left a God-shaped hole. Now, I can't say what God’s shape is like exactly, but since our Creator is bigger than the universe, a God-shaped hole is a pretty huge hole to fill, and nothing can fill it except God’s love for us and our love for each other, in the way we form community and help each other.

In facing the first temptation to turn stones into bread, Jesus refuses. Why? What is he thinking? He's so hungry!! But perhaps he can say no because he knows that food tastes best when shared. People need more than bread to live on, Jesus reminds the snake. We also need community, friendship, and love, to be God-with-skin on for each other.

Facing Satan’s second temptation of all the treasures in the world, and living under King Herod and the Roman Empire, Jesus saw first-hand that the people who amass treasures and power often become cruel to protect their privilege and authority. They start thinking of themselves as favoured, as better than everyone else. But Jesus knows God is a mother, or a father, if you prefer, who loves all God’s children equally. There are no favourites because we are all God’s favourites.

And facing the third temptation, Jesus knows Creator isn’t about spiritual magic, either. She is like a mother hen, all about love as she holds her chicks (that's us) tenderly under her wings. He is a protector, caring for his children through our challenges even more than our successes, encouraging us to live in joy, peace, and harmony with creation. Jesus doesn’t need to test whether Creator cares for him or not. He knows that Creator cares for him. And because of his teachings, we know that Creator cares for us, too.

Yes, Jesus certainly could have turned stones to bread so he wouldn’t be so hungry, and he could have agreed to bow down to Accuser to win all the world’s wealth, or he could have taken Accuser’s dare and jumped off the top of the Temple to prove that he would be caught by angels as he fell.

But none of that meant anything to Jesus, because he knew that nothing can fill the God-shaped hole in each of our hearts -- except God. It makes me think of the very wealthy people in the world whose main purpose in life seems to be trying to get more and more money, power, and privilege.

What they don’t seem to understand is that Creator’s good road exists where people share and love like Jesus did. Our lives are not about collecting things or money or power, but about doing like Jesus did, giving our lives away to others in love. Our brother Farley used to sing a song that went like this… “What can you do with each moment of your life, but love till you’ve loved it away.” (from Thanksgiving Eve by Bob Franke).

So when we meet the Accuser in our lives, Jesus is our model. He walks away from the Accuser's efforts to make us feel bad about ourselves and our world, and he walks away from the temptation to cling to fake treasures. He shows us the truest superpower -- the power to let go of things that divide us, the things that make some people think they are winners and other people are losers. We’re all winners in God’s eyes, we just need to remember that and make it true for everyone.

Satan wanted Jesus to depend on wealth and power and privilege, but Jesus was saying, “I depend only on God.” He chose to love and walk with all the people in the world who do not have security, power, wealth, or spiritual authority. Which is most of us. We walk with each other as community, and there’s nowhere I see it more clearly than here on 96th Street in the Community of Emmanuel.

So as we begin walking through these forty days of Lent, let’s take a walk through the wilderness with Jesus.

Relax, sit comfortably, and close or lower your eyes if you like. Feel your feet on the floor.

Breathe in deeply, and out gently as is comfortable for you.

Imagine that you are walking along a hot, dusty desert path, following Jesus. See the scrubby vegetation covering the ground beside the path all around you.

Feel the dry breeze blowing into your face as you climb a steep and rocky hill. Jesus looks back and sees that you are struggling over some rocks, and reaches out his hand to help you.

His eyes are full of love for you.

As Jesus leads you over the top of the hill, you smell a sweet fragrance, and see a small stream surrounded by trees in the bottom of the valley below, and a million tiny pink flowers on the hillside’s scrubby bushes that are giving off the sweet scent. The desert is in bloom in this valley.

You descend the hill behind Jesus. Reaching the edge of the stream, he dips his hand in, takes a drink and then splashes water over his head. You do the same, and you smile at each other.

There are some rocks to sit on. As you and Jesus slip your dusty feet out of your sandals and into the cool water of the stream, he turns to you and says, “Wherever your treasure lies, there you will find your heart.”

Take a few moments to silently tell Jesus what is on your heart…

As your conversation comes to a close, Jesus says, “Leave all that with me, beloved child of God, and let me care for your heart.”

 

I invite you to come back into this room… to open your eyes if they were closed, and to continue to breathe gently.

 

And I invite you to pray with me:

Creator,

We thank you for your loving care for us.

Please walk with us and help us in these forty days of Lent that lead to Easter.

Helps us to listen to you and ignore the Accuser when he tries to make us feel bad about ourselves and our world.

Help us to remember that you are with us, always, and that you invite us to put aside the things that divide us.

Help us to find our treasure in knowing that we are your beloved children, and in living out that love in our relationships with you and each other.

Be with us Lord, and keep us safe in your care.  

+AMEN.

Monday, March 3, 2025

Monday Music Appreciation #52 -- Eternal Light

There's a new musician who has joined our Inner City Pastoral Ministry's Community of Emmanuel. His name is Evan, and he's an extremely talented pianist with a music degree behind him. He loves to play jazzy tunes, so Sunday morning coffee time has been the scene of a bit of dancing in recent weeks (whenever I can convince a community member to dance with me!)

Evan is a true musician who listens to a lot of music... and sends many videos to me to check out as possibilities for our new ICPM music book (the old one is down to its last original copies and is pretty dated, so it's time to build a new one -- if you have any song suggestions, let me know!)

Since joining our downtown music ministry, Evan has shared several songs by Porter's Gate, which seems to be a collaborative effort by Christian musicians, but he didn't send me this one. It came to me via the online 5Rhythms mindful movement group I've been dancing with for almost five years now.

 Last Tuesday, I found myself grooving in my kitchen to Eternal Light (I dance where the dog can see me and know he's not alone in the house as we're still working on separation anxiety). Moving to this song felt so good that I looked it up -- and laughed out loud. Lo and behold, it's a tune by some of the musicians contributing to Porter's Gate, the group that Evan likes so much. 

It's a great morning stretch song, or at least it works for me. Liz Vice's voice is warm and mellow, Paul Zach's harmonies feel so right, and who among us doesn't need a little eternal hope and less darkness these days?

I hope you can appreciate today's Monday Music. Turn it up and groove (or not) as you please!

Wednesday, February 26, 2025

Does life have to hurt this much?

I've known Damien (not his real name) for a couple of years now. I first met him on a sunny August morning at Table Time, the almost weekly outreach that Pastor Quinn and I are able to offer thanks to the donations that Inner City Pastoral Ministry receives from supporters who care about our homeless community members. 

On that particular Tuesday morning, Damien crossed the road to say hello to us. He wished us an enthusiastic "Happy Feast of the Dormition of the Mother of God!" and we had a little chat about his connection to the Ukrainian Orthodox church before he started talking philosophy with Quinn. I soon realized that Quinn and Damien had engaged in several such conversations in the past. 

In subsequent encounters, Damien struck me as a rather brilliant renaissance man, well-read and well-educated on many topics, and there was nothing he loved more than sharing what he was learning. Usually, he was coming or going from the library when we saw him. I often wondered why he didn't have a home, but whenever Quinn asked him about getting into housing, he said he was content where he was living (at Hope Mission's men's shelter, though his beliefs don't exactly fit with Hope's evangelical bent).

It has been so cold in February that there were a few Table Times that Quinn and I missed. When it's -30 with a -40 windchill, there's no point standing on the corner near Bissell Centre to hand out clothing, snacks, or toiletries because homeless people are holed up trying to stay warm in the library, malls, LRT stations or tarp/tent shelters -- wherever it's warm and bylaw officers are scarce. 

Yesterday, we learned from Bissell West staff that sometime in the recent weeks of extreme cold, Damien experienced frostbite so severe that all his fingers and one thumb had to be amputated. And my heart immediately broke for this sweet fellow who has no real home, and now, a serious disability that could have been prevented. How will he hold his beloved books and turn their pages?

What makes Damien's story even harder to bear is that the Bissell Centre West community space, which, for many years, has held a drop-in for people who are homeless and precariously-housed, is being closed on March 31st. City and province are no longer willing to support its essential services. 

Make no mistake, the community space is essential. It offers warmth on cold days, a place to get out of the blazing sun on hot days, not to mention washrooms, showers, laundry facilities, nurses who offer first aid, a clothing closet, an Indigenous cultural space, coffee, snacks, and a few other amenities that most of us who live in comfort take for granted. 

Perhaps more important than all those things, however, the community space offers a place where people can connect with their friends, and where they can receive help from staff members who have the right blend of humour and heart to really care for community members who come in. The Bissell staff I know are exceptionally kind people who go far beyond their job descriptions. I suspect that for them, working in the drop-in is a vocation more than a job. They worry when regulars don't show up. 

And regulars are people just like you and me except their lives have unraveled through no fault of their own -- people suffering from deep poverty often complicated by mental health issues, physical and/or mental disabilities, intergenerational trauma, addictions, and other challenges. Every individual has a heartbreaking story, and many, like Damien, don't talk about it.

It hurts that when the Community Space closes on March 31st, there is one less place for homeless sisters and brothers to safely gather and connect. Their supports are consistently being eroded by governments that would rather pretend they don't exist, or who want to force them all into detox facilities before they have the appropriate supports to be psychologically ready for substance-free living. The Public Spaces bylaws passed by Edmonton City Council this week will make life even more difficult for them. And I'll be surprised if people who are homeless are even mentioned in tomorrow's provincial budget.

Their supports are consistently being eroded. Yes, I'm saying it again.

And nobody is stepping up to say, "This is Wrong!"

Yesterday I sat on my back steps and sobbed for Damien and his stubs of hands, and tears also ran down my cheeks for the wonderful Bissell staff members whose hearts are completely broken -- and who are about to be laid off -- but who are still talking about a March memorial service for people who have died on our streets in the last four months. The staff know and care for the community one-on-one and don't want lives to end unremembered. 

My tears have dried up long enough to write this post, but I am left with a burning anger that chokes my throat and stings my eyes. 

That's nothing compared to Damien's pain from losing all his fingers and a thumb in the past weeks.

Does life have to hurt this much in a wealthy city and province like ours?

It shouldn't. That's why I'm telling you, friends, about what's going on. The Bissell staff's hands are tied by policies preventing them from speaking out. 

But mine aren't.

Of course, my writing isn't enough unless it motivates good people like you to do something. At the bottom of this post are the email addresses and phone numbers of the Alberta Premier and various ministers who should have a stake in caring for ALL Albertans, as well as Edmonton's city councilors and mayor, who need to be reminded to spend public money on care for the homeless rather than ineffective police and cleanup crews. I've put all this information together in one place to make contacting officials easier. 

Please -- send emails demanding that the Bissell Centre West Community Space be kept open and well-staffed, and that services for homeless people be expanded rather than cut, copying your message to your own MLA, too. If you have a few extra minutes, it would be great to follow up your email with a phone call. And if you would be so kind as to share this post among your own friends and family so that they can also help, you'd be adding numbers to these efforts. We all know there is strength in numbers.

If you live elsewhere, please consider writing and calling your own politicians demanding an increase in services for people who are homeless in your area, as well as supportive and affordable housing for all.

Life doesn't have to hurt this much. 

Not if we all work together for positive change. 


* * * * * * *

With many thanks to Jim Gurnett for his helpful words.

Provincial contacts:

premier@gov.ab.ca (Danielle Smith, Premier of Alberta) (780) 427-2251

SCSS.Minister@gov.ab.ca (Jason Nixon, Seniors and Community Services) (780) 643-6210

PSES.Minister@gov.ab.ca (Mike Ellis, Public Safety and Emergency Services) (780) 415-1550

MHA.Minister@gov.ab.ca (Dan Williams, Mental Health and Addiction) (780) 427-0165

Health.Minister@gov.ab.ca (Adriana LaGrange) (780) 427-7164

Minister.MunicipalAffairs@gov.ab.ca (Rick McIver) (780) 427-3744

IR.MinisterOffice@gov.ab.ca (Rick Wilson, Indigenous Relations) (780) 422-4144


City of Edmonton contacts:

aaron.paquette@edmonton.ca (780) 496-8138

andrew.knack@edmonton.ca (780) 496-8122

anne.stevenson@edmonton.ca (780) 496-8333

ashley.salvador@edmonton.ca (780) 496-8140

erin.rutherford@edmonton.ca (780) 496-8136

jennifer.rice@edmonton.ca (780) 496-8132

jo-anne.wright@edmonton.ca  (780) 496-8148

karen.principe@edmonton.ca (780) 496-8128

keren.tang@edmonton.ca (780) 496-8142

michael.janz@edmonton.ca (780) 496-8146

sarah.hamilton@edmonton.ca (780) 496-8120

tim.cartmell@edmonton.ca (780) 496-8130

amarjeet.sohi@edmonton.ca (No phone number that I could find)