Sunday reflection: The woman (and man) at the well

Today's reflection is brought to you by

John 4:  4:5-30, 39-40.

This morning, I had the joy of presenting a little skit from John's Gospel along with Jesse and James. When I asked Jesse if he would play Jesus, he said, "Whoa, tall order!" But he did a great job, and James was an excellent narrator too. What follows below is the reflection I shared with our community of Sanctuary of Peace, our circle of belonging in the heart of the city of Edmonton.

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There are three things I hope we can learn from this little story that James and Jesse helped me to tell, but before I get to that, a little background on it: 

The way Jesus and the woman are speaking to each other (with no one else present) is breaking a few rules of their societies. Women were expected to travel in groups. And Jews and Samaritans generally avoided each other because of a history of bad blood between their peoples. 

So we might wonder why this woman is coming to the well all alone in the hottest hours of the day. The most likely answer is that she doesn’t go to the well when other married women go in the coolness of the morning because they shame her for being a sinner because she’s had so many husbands.

And that’s the next question: why has she had so many husbands? 

There could be several reasons. Maybe the woman married men who died in accidents -- or of poor health. But more likely, in a time of arranged marriages, if a woman didn’t produce babies or her husband found her lacking in other ways, he could divorce her, or say she was unfaithful and ruin her reputation. Something to think about on this International Woman's Day.

We don’t know much about this woman's circumstances, but clearly something happened that leaves her feeling vulnerable to the judgment of others. 

So she’s very surprised when the man at the well starts talking to her. Jesus could have ignored her, and probably should have according to Jewish law, but he breaks the rules and asks for the woman's help. He’s thirsty. Her response is maybe a little annoyed and sassy: “Do I really have to remind you that you shouldn’t be talking to me?” 

But Jesus keeps the conversation going, and offers something to her. Living water sounds mysterious! And wouldn’t it be wonderful if she didn’t have to walk to the well in the heat anymore! But hey, he doesn’t even have a bucket to get his own water, she reminds him. They seem to be poking just a little bit of fun at each other. 

Until things get serious and Jesus invites her to bring her husband. Yet even though she is likely shamed by her community because of her many marriages, she somehow senses that she can tell Jesus the truth, sort of, so she does, maybe feeling a bit anxious about his response. 

Surprisingly, he tells her all about her life, remarks on her honesty and says no more about all those husbands. He’s just not interested in shaming her further. He simply invites her to a deeper relationship with God. And when she talks about God’s anointed one, the Messiah, Jesus tells her who he is, something he hasn't admitted to very many people thus far. 

Then the disciples show up. Maybe they’re surprised that Jesus is talking to the Samaritan woman, but they don’t ask questions. Why not? Maybe they know that Jesus isn’t afraid to go against the norms when it comes to leading others away from shame to healing. They've seen that his ministry is all about that. 

So, the three things we can learn from this story? 

First, Jesus loves everyone no matter what, and treats everyone with kindness and respect. He loved the woman no matter how many husbands she had. He loves you and me no matter what we might be ashamed of, and Creator wants us to be honest about our struggles and joys. God wants to hear about them whenever we pray. 

Secondly, God isn’t interested in shaming people. Maybe we grew up with a punishing god who throws thunderbolts (like I thought would happen if I swore as a little kid), but that god was just a threat to keep us in line. Our True Creator wants our honesty, and to give us good things like the living water that is eternal life. 

And thirdly, when it comes to love, Jesus bends the rules. For you, for me, for everyone because he’s all about spirit and truth and goodness and beauty for our lives. The bible is full of examples of him teaching unexpected things: Love your neighbour. Pray for your enemies. Forgive as many times as it takes. The first will be last (I like that one). The last will be first (even better). And if we’re going to become true children of Creator, we need to bend the rules, too, toward love and acceptance and service of others whether we understand them or not. 

So let’s practice these things. Let’s start our own little conversation with the man at the well. 

 

I invite you to sit as comfortably as you can. If you are able, straighten your back, put your feet solidly on the floor, take in a deep breath and let it out slowly and quietly, emptying your lungs completely. Let's do that again. 

Now, find a quiet place in your mind where Jesus is waiting for you. 

He asks how you are doing. What will you tell him? What does he say? Let your conversation with him flow. 

You can tell Jesus anything and everything. Be honest with him. See his smile, and the kindness and love in his eyes. 

When Jesus praises you for your honesty, how does that make you feel? 

Give your worries over to Jesus. Imagine him holding them gently in his hands. 

Give him your joys too.

Is there a person or a group of people in your life that is hard to love right now? Ask Jesus to help you to forgive and accept them, to bend your own rules toward love. 

Before you return to this space, thank Jesus for listening. Does he give you a hug? A fist bump? 

Let’s pray together: 

Thank you, Creator, 

for sending Jesus to teach us 

that you are all-loving and all-forgiving. 

and that your deepest desire is to free us from shame 

and satisfy our thirst for your goodness  

in all the corners of our lives. 

Help us not to judge others, 

but to treat them with respect and compassion 

that helps them to see your presence in us. 

+Amen

The song below, one I haven't heard in many years, came into my head as I was moodling just now, and I had to go looking for it. Anushka Edgard's version is simple and lovely. Though I don't know where Anushka comes from, I think she's quite young, and she certainly has a pretty voice. Enjoy.