Music and meditation

I've been meaning to leave this here in my moodlings since before Canadian Thanksgiving! Sharing this information isn't just about appreciating music like my usual Music Appreciation Mondays, but about inviting my readers to participate in it and use it for prayer.

I've posted many times about Taizé in these moodlings, as I've been singing and praying the music of the Community since the early 90s or maybe even earlier, but I only managed to visit what I soon recognized as my spiritual home for the first time in 2014. My experience there was an affirmation of the importance of ecumenism in my life, and it's part of my reason for serving with the Community of Emmanuel at Inner City Pastoral Ministry. 

I deeply believe that Christians can and should pray together as much as possible, regardless of theological and dogmatic differences between churches, and the prayer of the Taizé community is a beautiful way to do that. We gather to listen to scripture and let it speak to our hearts without interpretation, we spend time in silence together, opening ourselves to God, we offer the prayers of our hearts, and we sing beautiful harmonies together, uniting our spirits.

Here's the schedule for the rest of the 2024-2025 season, and an invitation to a very special evening's peace prayer the day before Remembrance Day (this Sunday already!) We will gather, as the brothers of Taizé do every Sunday evening, and sit in silence before God for 30 minutes, praying for peace. The remainder of the hour-long prayer will be a simplified version of what happens in Taizé three times a day. 

I hope you can join us. If you would like a printable version of this poster, please contact me @ the email address under "The Moodler -- Maria K." on the right sidebar, and I'll be happy to email you a copy. Or better yet, come to the prayer and you can have a hard copy that I've already printed.

With the wars happening in our world and concerns about the election for our neighbours to the south, we can use all the peace we can pray for!

50 years of gratitude

This week marks 50 years since my family of origin moved 
from small town Saskatchewan to the big city of Edmonton, Alberta. 
The picture below was taken the month before we came 
(in September of 1974). 

The colour picture below is from winter of 2011...

and the next picture is from the last day of September this year.

Our city has grown a lot since we came, 

from a population of about 445,000

to the present 1.1 million people.

The roads are busier (and always under construction).

The people are more diverse, 

and the arts and culture scene has grown

by more than leaps and bounds!

Unfortunately, homelessness has increased

(doubled since last year to 4,700 people lacking homes,

or so Homeward Trust tells us today)

mostly because successive governments have failed 

over the past 30+ years to build and maintain

housing stock that is affordable.

(I'll have news about a housing rally coming up 

for National Housing Day on November 23rd.

Watch this space.)

I am grateful for life in this city, 

first known as amiskwaciswâskahikan in Cree

or Beaver Hills House in English.

Thanks, Dad and Mom,

for your decision to move to this beautiful place

50 years ago -- how time flies!

Thank you, beautiful place on a beautiful river,

for being home for 50 years.

I am grateful.

Ninanaskomun.

Wednesday music appreciation?

Doesn't quite have the same ring to it as Monday Music Appreciation, does it?

But Monday was my dear friend Farley's memorial service, and I wasn't thinking much about moodling. I did manage to hold myself together to sing Part of the Family because my friend Julie -- and everyone present -- really sang along. It was Farley's song, and they belted it out for him!

And his son Paul sang this beautiful song, too, which I had never heard until I met Farley. I loved Farley's version, and didn't know about Bob Franke, who wrote it, or that Stan Rogers had recorded it in a key that Farley appreciated and likely kept when he sang it.

Here it is for your enjoyment -- Thanksgiving Eve by Bob Franke, as sung by Stan Rogers.

Monday Music Appreciation #41: Everything reminds me of my dog

What would you call him?

Since Friday, my favourite radio station, CKUA, has been running its annual fall fundraising drive, and I've been enjoying the hosts teaming up and playing listener requests while they invite listeners to donate to the station. 

It's a unique and wonderful thing, this province-wide, listener-funded radio station that's been running for 97 years. It doesn't play top-40 hits -- rather, it caters to local musicians and other talented folks I would otherwise never hear of. Sometimes it plays stuff I'm not crazy about, but if I wait a few minutes, I hear something more to my taste, and I've fallen in love with a few of the announcers.

It's the only station that has played So Fine, a joyful tune my kids recorded, and it has helped launch the careers of many artists through its arts and culture programming. It can be heard anywhere in the world if you click this link.

On Saturday, as I was planting the last of my spring bulbs, the song below came through my earbuds, and made me laugh with delight. I saw Jane Siberry perform it live once, and enjoyed its humour then. I'm not sure if I'd heard it since, but I offer it below as a bit of music to be appreciated this Monday.

Not everything reminds me of my dog, but I'm posting a picture of the Havanese puppy who will be joining our household in two weeks. As yet, he's still with his mama and seven litter mates, and we are in the process of preparing for him to live here -- and throwing names around. We want to avoid common human names, and are compiling a list of possibilities. If you look at this picture and a name springs to mind, please send it my way. You might have better ideas than I do!

Here's Jane Siberry's Everything Reminds Me of My Dog. Enjoy!

Sunday Reflection: Top or bottom of the heap?

Today's reflection is brought to you by

Mark 10:35-45.

It was a gorgeous morning as I drove to ICPM this morning -- a stunning, fiery sunrise was reflected in the windows of the downtown skyscrapers, so I quickly pulled off and took a picture.

It was also a challenging morning for me at the Community of Emmanuel. It was my first time sitting in my friend Farley's chair and playing and singing Part of the Family, a song we always sang together, without him. Let's just say I was a mess, but people sang along and we got through it. I'm grateful that I don't have to lead the music for his memorial service in a week's time.

It was also my turn to give a reflection on the reading. I'll leave it here for my readers. I hope you all have a good week.

* * * * * * *

This is an interesting Sunday reading, don’t you think? Here we have James and John, two of Jesus’ friends and disciples, and basically, they’re asking Jesus to make them his “main men.” They’ve seen how popular and amazing Jesus is and want some of his amazingness to rub off on them – so they can be more important than Jesus' other followers. So they’re kinda sneaky with their request to Jesus, probably because they know the other guys won’t like it if they’re seen as more important. 

I suspect that if we look inside ourselves – if I look inside myself – I know that there’s a little bit of James and John in me too. There’s a bit of insecurity, maybe, that sometimes makes me want to be seen as important, or special, or maybe I want to feel like I’m better than others, especially people I don’t like. 

This little episode with Jesus and James and John makes me think of one of my friends, who isn't really a friend. All my life, my relationship with her has felt like a competition for some reason that I can’t quite understand. Maybe it’s all in my head, but many of my interactions with her have felt like a contest when I really didn’t want to compete. For example, when I was six, my parents bought me my first bike, and my friend started bragging about her bike being bigger than mine, and she could ride without training wheels! Her teachers were always better than my teachers, to hear her tell it. As we went through High School, she bragged about her grades, which were always better than mine. In our twenties, my friend boasted about being so busy, having the best job, and having so many friends, but I was more introverted and didn’t feel like my work or my friends were part of a competition. And when we got married and had our families, she made even the arrival of our babies feel like some sort of contest. It was weird. It's puzzled me all my life, and makes me a little sad too, because I just wanted us to be true friends, but I ended up avoiding her. 

Here’s the thing about competition – it divides people into two categories: winners and losers. What happens next is that the losers have an inferiority complex because they’ve lost, and the winners have a superiority complex because they’ve won, and the two groups don’t mix because of resentments that build up in a win-lose world. The losers are unhappy with losing and become more determined to get the winner’s prize, and the winners are watching their backs because they know the losers might beat them next time and they have to protect their status as winners. In this scripture reading today, the other disciples got mad when they heard about James and John’s request to be Jesus’ hot shot helpers. 

One of my favourite spiritual writers, Henri Nouwen, explains it well. This is what he says: “The society in which we live suggests in countless ways that the way to go is up. Making it to the top, entering the limelight, breaking the record - that's what draws attention, gets us on the front page of the newspaper, and offers us [big] rewards....” 

James and John are so excited about the “big reward” of sitting beside Jesus in his glory that they don’t think about how the others might feel, or even hear what Jesus says to them about the suffering he, and by association, they, will have to endure. “Oh, yes, yes, we can drink your cup and follow your path” they say, but we all know where that path ultimately led. To the cross. Jesus’ glory is not a King-dom, like the Roman Empire. It’s a Kin-dom, a place where we are all kin, all brothers and sisters, equal in every way. Jesus’ heaven isn’t a race up a ladder. It’s a wide open gate for everyone who lives in love, where nobody is top dog because we all have our own unique and special qualities. 

Henry Nouwen continues by saying, “The way of Jesus is radically different. It is the way not of upward mobility but of downward mobility. It is going to the bottom, staying behind the sets, and choosing the last place! Why is the way of Jesus worth choosing? Because it is … the way Jesus took… the way that brings everlasting life.” 

Jesus offers a completely different kind of world than what James and John were expecting. And when the disciples got angry with James and John for trying to be the top dogs, Jesus told them all to sit down and listen, and he explained that his Kin-dom is about serving one another, not trying to be the greatest. In Jesus’ books, the great ones in this life aren’t the ones who climb over everyone else on their way to the top of the heap, but are the ones hustling around the bottom of it, trying to help everybody else up too. 

Of course, when we look around the world we are in right now, we can see that there are a lot of so-called “hot shots” or “top dogs” who think they are the winners in this life because they’ve clawed their way to positions of power over other people. But what would Jesus say to them? The same thing he says to his disciples and to us: “The great ones among you will humble themselves and serve all the others.” 

So the next question is, what does it mean to serve? Let’s look at Jesus and how he did it. He spent his ministry listening to people, reminding them by his actions that God loved them. He healed the sick. He cared for the broken hearted. He walked alongside people where they were at, and forgave what needed forgiveness to free them from their burdens. He encouraged people to choose the good path. He was generous to everyone, not interested in piling up possessions, but sharing all that he had. Above all, he loved everyone, no matter if they were powerful or small in the world’s eyes. As he said in the reading, he offered his life in the place of many, to set them free. 

Can we be that kind of servant to others? Can we listen? Can our actions be an extension of God’s care for the people we meet? Can we listen to other people’s broken hearts and share ours and find healing as a community? Can we walk alongside each other and forgive what needs forgiveness? Can we choose the good path and share what we have? Can we love everyone, even when the world seems stuck on making everyone either a winner or a loser? Can we set each other and ourselves free by letting go of grudges and anger and choosing the way of love above all? 

Let’s talk to Creator about it. I invite you to pray in your heart with me: 

Creator, 

Here I am, 

just the way you made me. 

You know me. 

You know everything about me – 

the good things, 

the things I am proud of, 

the things I like to brag about… 

and the things about myself that I’m not proud of,

that make me ashamed.

You know everything.

 

And still, you love me. 

You love me! 

And you love everybody else too. 

Help me, 

Creator, 

to remember that everyone is your beloved child. 

Help me to be like your son, Jesus, 

who made himself a servant to everyone. 

Help me to listen with love. 

Help me to accept people without judging them. 

Help me to go the extra mile for others who need help. 

Help me to love and forgive and serve others, 

 to see where I can help, 

 and to do what Jesus would do with kindness and compassion.

 

+AMEN.

About all that gobbledygook

(If you're not receiving these moodlings by e-mail, feel free to ignore all but the last paragraph of  this moodling!)

Those of you who receive these moodlings in your e-mail inbox because you signed up to "Get Simple Moodlings by E-mail" are subject to a fair bit of gobbledygook (yes, that's the incorrect technical term for strange computer language about error codes and IP address restrictions) whenever I try to put a video into my moodlings. This is what I'm talking about, right here:

I'm not someone who knows enough about computer coding to be able to figure out how to fix this problem and save you from all that gibberish, and I'm very sorry about that. All I can do is tell you this much: if you see this kind of strange language, it means that the videos in my e-mailed moodlings are not appearing so that you can see them.

That's why I've put a sort of cheeky comment below the e-mail heading: 

Here's my latest moodling in basic format.
To see it in all its glory , visit https://simplemoodlings.blogspot.com/.

The above link will take you to the page where the pretty colour version of Simple Moodlings and its videos should be visible, clickable, and viewable. I post this here because I don't want my friends to miss Farley's song in yesterday's moodling... or any other Monday Music or video that's worth some appreciation.

And one more thing -- thanks for reading, friends. I've been moodling online for 14 years already, and I appreciate hearing from you whenever feel like responding to something you see here. The odd little comment here and there is a good part of the reason I've been at this so long. You make my day!

Be well!

Monday Music Appreciation #40: Love Waits by Farley Magee

My heart broke on Friday afternoon when I received word that my musical and faith-filled friend, Farley, had died. He hadn't been feeling well of late, and missed our last two Sundays at Inner City Pastoral Ministry, where I liked to tease him about me being his favourite (well, only, perhaps) back up singer. No one expected this news, and we at ICPM are pretty heartbroken, though we know that Farley is with God, doing just fine, and still alive in our hearts.

I didn't know Farley very long, but what I knew of him, I loved. He was a gentle man with an ironic sense of humour, and a very talented guitarist. The day we met, I had brought my guitar because I was told I could help with the music at ICPM, but Farley's reception to that was a bit cool -- likely because I was an unknown quantity. I told him I'd just back him up and play what I could, and it worked out okay. By the end of the morning, he had warmed up and we had a good conversation -- I guess he realized that I had enough ability that I might make the music a little richer than it would have been otherwise.

It was five years later when I joined the ministry team at ICPM, right in the middle of Covid. It was a fall day, and Farley was sitting outside, playing his guitar to entertain the folks waiting in line for lunches, and I recognized a hymn he was playing and started to sing it. His head swiveled toward me, and he grinned, and from that Sunday on, he often played the tune to see if I'd catch it and sing along. It was like an unspoken communication between us.

But my favourite memory of Farley by far is a September day when we were waiting for an event we were both attending in St. Albert at the invitation of Pastor Quinn. We arrived a few hours before other folks were due, and I asked Farley if he'd like to go for a walk. It was a beautiful autumn afternoon, and we walked down the hill to the Sturgeon River and wandered its banks all the way to the St. Albert community garden, enjoying the warm sun, the scents of autumn, the lazy river, and good company. I learned a bit about Farley's life, his long time grief from losing his daughter to cancer when she was only 7, and I shared some of my own grief at that time. We became better friends that afternoon.

I will really, really miss Farley every Sunday morning. His was a talent that can't be replaced. He often started our Sunday mornings with "Here Comes the Sun," and segued into bluesy riffs on a theme sounding like Fred Penner's "The Cat Came Back" or Woodie Guthrie's "Alice's Restaurant." My friend, Linda, and I would dance, and people would smile. Farley's music lent a peaceful calm to many otherwise chaotic Sunday mornings. His "smudge music" was one of my favourite sounds. I only wish I had recorded it.

And this song, written by Farley, is another favourite. The first time he played it as a meditation for the Community of Emmanuel, the tears rolled down my face. It's such a beautiful expression of what Love does, what Love is. As Linda commented today, it pretty much summarizes Farley's theology and belief. I'm so grateful that he allowed me to record it. I asked him once, if his favourite artist could record his song so it became famous, who would that be? "I'll have to think about that," he said, but he never got back to me on that question.

I know I've posted the song in these moodlings twice already, but third time is the charm, or something.

I will always miss harmonizing with you, Farley, your philosophical commentaries on life and the goodness and omnipotence of God, and the twinkle in your eye when anyone made you laugh. You liked to say, "God knows. I don't." Well, now you know God's love for you in its fullness.

Farley, my musical brother, you were one in a million. Rest in peace, beloved friend.

Monday Music Appreciation #39: Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto No. 3

I'm so delighted that the symphony season has started once again (I'm back to my dream job!), and I must say that the Edmonton Symphony Orchestra, Guest Conductor Jean-Marie Zeitouni, and 25-year-old Canadian pianist Jaeden Izik-Dzurko started the season with a triumphant rendition of the concerto you'll hear if you click on the video below. Jaeden was just incredible and deserved every one of his three (or was it four?) standing ovations on Friday night. Wow.

I'll never cease to be amazed by musicians. Sergei Rachmaninoff wrote this exceedingly technically challenging concerto in the summer of 1909, but didn't have enough time to practice it before taking it (on an ocean crossing -- I think Orville and Wilbur Wright were still working the bugs out of their aeroplane at that point) to New York for its premiere that November. No piano on the ship, so he practiced on a paper keyboard! Imagine!

And the young man below is just as accomplished -- Yunchan Lim from South Korea is just 20, and knows his way around a keyboard with his eyes closed, I'm sure. The beauty and complexity of this concerto has been singing with me all day as I process tomatoes and relive the magic of symphony and piano working together so beautifully (I especially love from about 35 minutes onward). I hope you enjoy this as much as I do.

Sunday Reflection: You're adorable

Today's reflection is brought to you by

Mark 10:13-16, 

and partly inspired by Pastor Quinn's sermon for the Community of Emmanuel 

in downtown Edmonton this morning.

They wanted to bring their little ones

for you to touch 

and hold 

and bless.

We don't know who they were

or why your disciples tried to send them away.

We do know that you were indignant, 

even angry, 

speaking sternly.

You welcomed those little ones, 

cuddled some,

laid your hands upon others,

and blessed them

and all their sweet, 

adorable innocence.

Just as Creator wants to do with all his children,

whether we are sweet,

adorable,

or innocent

or not.

(Though you reminded us those qualities

are the way into God's heart.)

The Good News is

that it doesn't matter who you are

what you do,

how you vote,

or how many mistakes you have made.

You're as adorable

in the eyes of God

as a little one is

in the eyes of a loving parent.

Thank you, 

Creator,

for sending Jesus

to remind us how fully and deeply

we are loved.

Help us to remember

that every person who crosses our path

is loved just as fully and deeply

by you.

Remind me not to judge,

but to love as you do.

You want to touch

and hold

and bless us all.

May we touch

and hold 

and bless each other

just as you would.

+Amen

This week my dad celebrated an important birthday. There are no words to express how much he means to me, and how much he has to do with my understanding of God as a loving parent.

Thanks, Dad. I love you so much! M

2024's last garden moodling

It was another good garden year in most respects. A heatwave in July meant I had hardly any broad beans because the blossoms dried out on the vines, my cabbages didn't manage to get anywhere, and the strawberries had a hard go of it because of some wood shaving mulch that must've had chemicals in it. But Mother Nature did well with the help of a lot of watering from our 4000 L rain tank and my daughter's vigilance when we were away looking after my father-in-law. 

So here's a little 4 minute video from mid-September, before Lee got busy dismantling things, and a few pictures of what's left this morning. It's supposed to freeze tonight, so my basement is full of ripening tomatoes and peppers, and I'll turn the kale into chips and soups very soon (I'm pretty sure they can stand a bit of frost.

Thanks to Creator for this garden space, and for the produce we enjoy from it.

Lee took apart the double-high raised box

next to the compost pile so that our leaf bin

could be closer to the compost, so a few meters 

of dirt are spread around in other boxes.

All that's left: cherry tomatoes, carrots, beets 

and a few potatoes still in the ground

And our new leaf bin next to the compost pile,

waiting for this year's leaves to fall...

We'll cover all the beds with leaves, and start fresh in 2025.

This is your garden moodler, signing off till then.

Further thoughts on National Truth and Reconciliation Day

After feeling so frustrated with my church on Sunday because there was no mention of National Truth and Reconciliation Day, I attended a special Truth and Reconciliation Day mass at Sacred Heart Church of the First Peoples with Lee on Monday morning. It was a beautiful service with singing that raised the roof at times, and I was very happy to be there.

But as the presider noted, Truth and Reconciliation Day should be more than a day -- it should be every day of the year. When I got home, I looked in my September missalette a second time to determine whether I had missed any prayers or mention of care for First Peoples in its pages, other than the somewhat offensive reference to Jean Brebeuf and Companions' response to the call for "missionaries to the Indians" -- in other words, the earliest attempts to colonize Indigenous people away from their own understanding of Creator toward Eurocentric thinking. That was the only mention of anything to do with Indigenous People in the entire September booklet.

So today I am writing a letter to the company who puts out the missalette, as well as to the Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops. I want to remind them all that one morning's prayers in one church in my city is not an adequate effort toward Truth and Reconciliation from a church that was so much a part of Residential Schools and the resulting intergenerational trauma they left as a horrifying legacy of colonialism. We should be praying for and participating in the healing of these wounds on a regular basis. 

And to have an entire September missalette that doesn't acknowledge Truth and Reconcilation Day? That needs to be fixed!

Enough about my frustrations. I also want to share good writings about Truth and Reconciliation by some young folks who work for the Council of Canadians, a social-justice oriented organization here. They ask us to rethink our own ideas about important issues, and though that's never comfortable, it is essential if we really want the world to heal. Click the links below to read some excellent and thought-provoking stuff... and see what else you can learn in this Reconciliation week.

Every Child Matters, Not Just the Ones in Orange by Eagleclaw Thom

Truth, Reconciliation and the Violence that Never Stopped by Christina Kruszewski

Guest Moodler: Be Real

Today's reflection was given by my friend, Cathy, for her United Church Community. The United Church and many other churches mark today as Truth and Reconciliation Sunday because it is the day closest to National Truth and Reconciliation Day, a day that was declared in Canada in response to the Truth and Reconciliation Commission's 94 Calls to Action. 

Truth and Reconciliation Sunday
at the Community of Emmanuel

So our little Community of Emmanuel prayed heartfelt prayers several times and in different ways for Truth and Reconciliation during our 45 minute service. 

Then at the Catholic Mass I attended afterward with my parents and Lee, there was not one word about Truth and Reconciliation. Not one word. 

So this afternoon, I walked to my nearest Anglican Church to enjoy their commemoration of the day with sharings by people who are survivors of residential schools and intergenerational trauma, honour songs, and a round dance. At the end there was a wonderful spirit of community and bannock to share. 

Today I feel the poverty of my own church's neglect of a day that should be important to all Canadians, no matter their faith. It's not even mentioned in the Canadian Catholic Liturgical Calendar in my monthly missalette, though other churches have been commemorating it since it was declared in 2021, and have been acknowledging the need for truth and reconciliation efforts since long before that!

In the spirit of reconciliation, I share my friend Cathy's reflection. May a willingness to hear the Truth and to work for Reconciliation be the basis for all our interactions with Indigenous People who have suffered so much because of past abuse and neglect and the forcing of foreign world views that were not in keeping with their respect for all people and Creator's creation.

* * * * * * *

Sermon September 29, 2024

“Face Facts: Be Real”

National Day of Truth and Reconciliation

Cathy Coulter

When I was mulling over ideas for a sermon for our challenging reading today, I was doing a crossword and I read this clue: Face Facts, 6 letters. Answer? Be real. And I thought, that's what Jesus is doing in this passage from Mark as he teaches his disciples and us. Face facts. Sin and evil are real. There's no sugar coating it.

Tomorrow is the National Day for Truth and Reconciliation. The truth and reconciliation process and the day marking it is a time to face the facts of the tragic legacy of residential schools and a long history of injustice towards Indigenous people. Over the last few decades many of us in this country were waking up to facing the facts of these harms. I know I was, having never been exposed to history from an indigenous point of view. It has been an uncomfortable wake up call as we think about our history as a country.

Last year I also led the service for the National Day for Truth and Reconciliation and I spoke about my own journey of reconciliation. My journey and my reactions were painful at times, and beautiful at times. I experienced growth and change. We do grow. We increase our awareness, our understanding, our compassion. This is good. And as time marches on we will continue to grow and get better and better. The world will get better and better. Kinder, safer, better for all. More equality. More caring and sharing.

At least that's how I used to think the world worked. Progress. Maybe a few setbacks. Dr. Martin Luther King said, “the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice”. In popular movies and books that I like, the good guys ultimately win over evil. The Psalms and other scripture often talk about the goodness of God prevailing. Psalm 27 says, “I am sure I shall see the goodness of our God in the land of the living” (Psalm 27:13).

And I believe that with all my heart. But at the same time, as I age, as I see what's happening in the world, I think I've been naïve to believe that things will always get better. I remember the moment I lost my naïve optimism. It was the 2016 US election. Then there was the pandemic and more and more polarization on social media and wars and political discord and environmental destruction with no evidence that humanity will turn it around. Increasing homelessness. Increasing addiction. Increasing anger and random acts of violence.  A young generation awash in anxiety. Backlashes to issues I thought were progressing. The complication of doing what we think is the right thing and the confusion when the ripple effects turn out to be the wrong thing. The dangers of black and white thinking.

Does anyone else feel this way? I  know they do because I've heard lots of people talk about not looking forward to the future in this current time. It's easy to feel despair when we think things are getting worse. But difficult times present an opportunity; an opportunity to face facts. To be real. To look at some hard truths. Jesus was not one to shy away from talking hard truths. Talking about sin and evil, like in our reading today. It sure can be uncomfortable. So bear with the discomfort while I explore it, but know that I'll get around to some good news as well, because Jesus is also all about good news.

Sin is a word I sort of rejected many years ago. The sin and redemption model of Christianity was very harsh and hard to relate to, frankly. I tried to be a good person. I didn't think I'd racked up a lot of big sins. The thought of people I loved, or even anyone, going to hell because they were so called sinners or they didn't believe in Christ didn't make sense to me. The word sin can be very triggering for people who associate it with fire and brimstone preachers who judge everyone who doesn't fit into their very narrow view of what is acceptable. I remember a mentor talking about how the prayer of confession in church would be more helpful if it became a prayer of affirmation for all those people who had trouble feeling worthy. That made sense to me. The image of God as a harsh judge who punished sin was gradually replaced in my imagination by a more loving God who loves us in all that we are. I began to see that getting better and better in an effort to become perfect is not a requirement to earn God's love.

This was all very important for me to address my own feelings of unworthiness. But gradually, as I became more grounded, I began to consider the concept of sin again with more nuance. What was it in me that didn't do the good I wanted to do, but the harmful things that I do not want to do, as Paul says in Romans? Why did I feel stuck so much of the time and not the person I wanted to be?  Why did I feel close to God one day, and completely distant the next? Why couldn't I understand myself?

Answering all that required me to look within, at all the faults and compulsions and shadows that hide there. Doing that with the security that God loves me no matter what, allowed me to admit I'm a flawed human being and not try to pretend otherwise. And while I do my best to correct what is hampering me or harming others, I'm never going to reach perfection. Can I learn to accept myself as God does, even as the loser that I am?

I heard a story once that struck a chord in me. A spiritual teacher named James Finley has problems with being forgetful and disorganized and he went to give a talk one evening and realized he'd forgotten all his notes. So he had to quickly jot some thoughts down just before he went on and in exasperation at himself, he talked to God saying, “God, am I ever going to get over this problem of not getting it all together?” and he heard God reply, “It's not looking good, Jim. But I love you anyway.” I loved that story. I felt something relax in me when I heard it. My striving for perfection for getting better and better all the time wasn't likely going to work nor was it a necessity to my being okay.

So the word sin for me became another way of saying my human limitations. Flaws that hamper me and harm others, whether intentionally or not. And yes, I can work on these things as best I can to grow in understanding and compassion. But first and foremost I have to humbly acknowledge them.

So what is Jesus saying in our reading today about cutting off our hand or foot or taking out our eye if it causes us to lose our faith rather than be thrown into hell? Well, I'm not sure, but one thing seems clear and it's that Jesus is telling us to take sin seriously. To face facts. To be real. To practice telling the truth about our lives, as we said in the prayer of confession this morning.

But there is more to sin than just recognizing our own faults. There is sin in the rest of humanity, in society. This is where my naïve optimism that the world was getting nicer and nicer kind of crashed as I wonder if that is even possible for humanity.

I came across a book in the library whose title caught my eye. It was “I Don't Believe in Atheists ” by Chris Hedges. In it he talks about the belief in our society that we progress morally as a species. The belief that science and reason will save us. That we think humans are “the culmination...of centuries of human advancement, rather than creatures unable to escape from the irrevocable follies and blunders of human nature.” Unless we face the facts of the sinfulness in the human condition, we will ignore or minimize catastrophes, thinking eventually things will get better. I think this has been true of the climate crisis or war, with us thinking “we'll figure it out in time” or “we are better than that now” while it has become clear that we haven't figured it out in time and that we are not better than that. While I do see the amazing goodness in people and am optimistic that our better natures can prevail, I think it's important to be real that when given the opportunity and in many circumstances, people can behave very, very badly. How many people, famous and otherwise, have I admired, heroes to me even, who have been exposed in scandal? Too many to count.

Hedges writes, “We have nothing to fear from those who do or do not believe in God; we have much to fear from those who do not believe in sin. The concept of sin is a stark acknowledgement that we can never be omnipotent, that we are bound and limited by human flaws and self-interest.” By acknowledging and being alert to sin in humanity and society, we are better prepared to address it, work to limit it, and not sweep it under the rug. Being awake to humans'  propensity to cause harm means we are more awake to the harms humans are causing, preventing us from hiding in a comfortable bubble while we passively wait for the world to change. It's like the work to look at our own individual faults and flaws. We become clear-eyed about sin and evil in the world, not in a despairing way and not in a way that leaves us feeling nothing but guilt, but in a real way that gives us courage to understand it and to stand up to it. Just as Jesus did.

For that we need to be rooted in hope. As Jesus was. But before I talk about that I'll mention one more idea from the Christ Hedges' book because it fits with our reading.

Hedges talks about the dangerous path of fundamentalist religion that needs to convert or overcome non-believers even by violent means. The Crusades of the Middle Ages, witch burnings, the Spanish Inquisition, the missionaries in the new world. And on and on into our present time. But Hedges argues that just as dangerous are the new atheists who have a utopian belief that science and reason will allow humanity to master its destiny and everyone standing in the way of that need to be cancelled or overcome, including and especially, religious people. He says these two groups, the fundamentalists and the more extreme and vocal atheists, both peddle in absolutes and call for the conversion or eradication of those who aren't on-side. I find there is more and more of that “our side vs your side” in today's world and I find it disturbing. People who feel they are on the right side of history can be very scathing about those who they feel are on the wrong side of history. Those who think they are right can be violent towards those they think are wrong, no matter what the issue. “If you're not with us, you're part of the problem and we can't associate with you,” seems to be the attitude.

Jesus warns about this in the first part of our reading when the disciples were a little peeved with those weren't in their group but were driving out demons. Jesus told them to let those demon-expellers be. It would soon be clear enough who was legitimate and who wasn't. I think this is a warning to us not to be too quick to dismiss those who aren't in the correct group or don't think the way we do. This is the lesson of small communities who have to get along with everyone, no matter what their politics or religious beliefs are, if they are to have any kind of community life. “Have the salt of friendship among yourselves, and live in peace with one another,” Jesus says at the end of our reading.

Be real about sin but live in hope that God's goodness will prevail. Be clear-eyed about human frailty but live in peace with one another. And while I didn't finish the Chris Hedges' book, I couldn't help thinking that there was something missing in what he was saying. I think he was missing love. The power of love to transform our frailties into a power for good. Yes, the world has big problems and this will never change. We progress morally, we fall back. And on and on it goes. But we don't need to despair because somehow God is present in all of it. The suffering and the goodness. The human weakness and the courage. The arc of the moral universe bending towards justice. Thanks be to God for all that we are, and all that we can be, but mostly for all that we are. May we be real with ourselves and our humanity, just as real as God is and hope is and love is. Amen.

A busy Southern Alberta summer

It's been quite an unusual summer as Lee and I have made several trips to Southern Alberta in order to care for his dad.

Dad Louis was born and raised in Southern Alberta, and when Lee's mom passed away in 2021, we explained to Dad that it would be much easier for the whole family to visit him if he came to live in Edmonton. But he wouldn't hear of it and remained living in his house until last September, when he lost his driver's license and we knew that it would be dangerous for him to continue living alone through the winter.

Our kids came to help us, and we moved him to an independent living senior's apartment on the last day of September, 2023. We spent a few months after that clearing out the house, and sold it in May.

Dad was mostly happy living in his new place -- he loved the meals, served restaurant style -- and his apartment was just the right size for him. But after dental surgery this spring, his health took a sudden turn, and the dementia that had been hovering around the edges of his life set in, full force. 

When we visited in June, we found Dad confused and unable to care for himself, so we increased the presence of homecare companions to give medications and help him get dressed in the mornings. And we spoke to him again about seniors facilities in Edmonton where we could help him out without having to drive 500 km every time something went wrong. "I was born in Southern Alberta, and I'll die in Southern Alberta," was his response.

Lee and his brothers took on a lot of extra responsibilities over the summer months, scoping out places where Dad could receive more care, taking over the finances he could no longer manage, hiring Jovy, who cared for Lee's mom in her last years, to be his companion and check on him every morning. We visited and phoned more frequently. But on August 15th, one of the residence's homecare aids sent Dad to Emergency because she found him wheezing, lethargic, and unwilling to get out of bed; that was his last day in his apartment. 

Dad spent almost three weeks in hospital being treated for various infections, and last Wednesday, he was released into a cottage for people with dementia. He's not happy about that because he loved his previous home with the view of the lovely courtyard garden, the staff and residents who complimented him on his tomato plants, and his job of sweeping the benches around the building clean through all seasons. He liked to have things to do. (We loved the place too, and are sad that his time there ended so soon.)

We're not exactly happy either, because he's still 5 hours away, none of his children have a home base or place to stay there, and trips south are tiring, plain and simple. But we love him and continue to support him as best we can. We worked like dogs last week to set up his new place and empty the old one. Local charities benefitted a lot from the downsizing we had to do.

For the time being, Dad is "storming" a bit -- not cooperating with the staff very well, and we are so grateful for Jovy's presence in his life because he trusts her. Today she took him to a medical appointment, and he cooperated very well with her. She's family to him as much as, or maybe more, than we are, because she can be there every day.

We're keeping our fingers crossed and praying hard that Dad will soon settle into "Louis' Place" with its deep purple door. It's a hard change for him, but we know he's safe and cared for. We're counting our blessings that things happened so quickly and safely for him, and we thank all those who knew about these challenges we were facing and kept the whole situation in prayer. 

Prayer works!

Monday Music Appreciation #38 : Big Boned Gal

I don't know what it is about this song, but it's been calling to me from my far past... probably because it mentions Southern Alberta (and I've spent a lot of time there of late -- more on that tomorrow) and because school has started again. The album this song comes from is intrinsically linked to when I was starting out as a teacher in rural Alberta and listened to it until I wore out my cassette. The voice of k.d. lang has caught my ear ever since, and her music fills my heart with a lot of plain old joy because she is unapologetically herself, always, and she's got pipes! 

She's also reuniting with her former band, the Reclines, for the Canadian Country Music Awards this week. I hope they all have a great time! In the meantime, enjoy this old tune on me!

Another sidewalk story

School starts again today and Tuesday, so I'm looking forward to a bit more sidewalk art appearing in September. In the meantime, I was delighted to find this ray of sunshine on my sidewalk yesterday just before the rainy day washed it away.

Sunday Reflection: Taste and see

Today's reflection is brought to you by

Psalm 34.

I bless you, 

Creator, 

at all times,

thanking you under my breath

whenever I notice your goodness.

You are the only reason

I should boast --

your love for all your creation

and for me

is a humbling thing.

I love to sing your praises

with the voice you have given me.

Whenever I seek your help

in times of stress,

whenever I am afraid

and put my fears in your hands,

you deliver me from anxiety

and fill me with peace.

All who call on you 

and wait patiently for your presence

will not be disappointed

for you are with us.

I have cried out to you in my times of trouble

and slowly but surely

(and sometimes instantly!)

you have delivered me.

I taste and see your goodness, 

O God.

Your eyes are on those who love you

and your ears hear their cries.

You allow those who abandon your ways

to reap as they sow

until they return to you as prodigal children.

You are near to the brokenhearted

and save the crushed in spirit.

We don't need to ask you to save us, 

because you already have.

So instead, 

I ask that you help us all

-- especially those with the power

to make the world a better place --

to walk more closely in love with you

and all that you have made.

+Amen.

***

This morning I had a conversation with Rick, a regular in our Community of Emmanuel who lives in the Hope Mission Shelter a few blocks away. When I commented that he seemed sad, he said, "Yeah, I guess I am. It's just that winter is coming, and winter is hard on us who have no place to live."

In the next weeks, we are planning ways to let the people in power know that leaving people to live in unsanitary shelters by night and on our frozen streets by day is not a viable option. I'll try to remember to post opportunities to help raise awareness here in these moodlings.

Sunday Reflection: Love beyond love

Today's reflection is brought to you by Ephesians 5:15-20.

15Walk with your eyes wide open and make wise use of your time, 16for the days we live in are full of worthless and troubled ways. 17Keep foolishness far from you and welcome the ways of wisdom, for then you will clearly see the path that Creator has chosen for you. 18It is not wise to drink too much, for that will lead you to a life of emptiness and sorrow. Instead, fill yourself with Creator’s Spirit, who will lead you into a life of beauty and harmony. 19At your gatherings, tell the ancient stories and sing the traditional songs. Sing spiritual songs from your heart as you dance before the Great Spirit, 20giving thanks to Creator always.

First Nations Version: 

An Indigenous Translation of the New Testament 

(Downer's Grove IL: InterVarsity Press 2021, ISBN 978-0-8308-1350-6).

Today's reflection is also brought to you by John 6:51-58.

"I am the living bread from above. The ones who eat this bread will live beyond the end of all days. And this is the bread that I will give as a gift to the world – my human body."

52His words caused great division among the Tribal Members, and they began to argue with one another. "How can this be? Will he give us his flesh to eat?" 53"I speak from my heart,” Jesus answered. “The only way to have my life in you is to eat the body of the True Human Being and drink his blood. 54Then, the life of the world to come will be yours, and at the end of all days I will bring your body back to life. 55My body is true food. My blood is pure drink. 56The ones who eat and drink my body and blood live in me, and I live in them. 57In the same way the living Father sent me and gave me his life, the ones who feed on me will have my life. 58The bread from above is not like the bread our ancestors ate – and then died. This bread gives people the life of the world to come that never fades away, full of beauty and harmony."

(Also from the First Nations Version...)

I intended to give the following reflection to the Community of Emmanuel this morning, but ended up in Lethbridge instead because my father-in-law is in hospital (thus this moodling's format is rather strange as I'm moodling on my cell phone, sorry.)

When Pastor Quinn asked me to lead this service so he could go on a little camping trip with one of his sons, I said, “Sure, I think I can do that.”

But when I read the scripture that we just heard, I thought, “Hoo boy. This could be interesting!” And I said a few prayers that went like this – "HELP!"

The first reading we heard from Paul’s letter to the Ephesians isn’t so tough to talk about. The Ephesians, the people Paul was writing to, were a small group of Christians in a big Greek city that worshiped the nature and hunter goddess Artemis. Paul was encouraging the little Christian group to stay connected to Jesus, to remember that they are loved by God, and to live lives worthy of that love.

And the words Paul says still speak to us at the Community of Emmanuel, for sure. “Walk with your eyes wide open and make wise use of your time … Keep foolishness far from you and welcome the ways of wisdom, for then you will clearly see the path that Creator has chosen for you.” 

Paul tells us that “it is not wise to drink too much” which is something we all know well from experience, but really, it applies to all of life – when we overdo things, eventually it makes us feel bad, and we crash into “emptiness and sorrow.” Instead, Paul says we should live in “Creator’s Spirit, who will lead [us] into a life of beauty and harmony.” 

And Paul’s closing comment reminds me of good times, hearing my uncles and aunties telling old stories and singing traditional songs. He says we can “Sing spiritual songs from your heart as you dance before the Great Spirit, giving thanks to Creator always.”

To me, that sounds like a very good time!

But then we get to Jesus in the Gospel according to John, saying, “The only way to have my life in you is to eat my body and drink my blood.”

What??? 

He goes on to say, “Then, the life of the world to come will be yours, and at the end of all days I will bring your body back to life.”

Yeah, okay, I can live with that.

But then he goes on, “My body is true food. My blood is pure drink. Those who eat and drink my body and blood live in me, and I live in them.”

You know, the words that come after this scripture verse say that there were a lot of people who were turned off by this kind of talk coming from Jesus. They reacted just like I did. “What??? “These words are too hard to hear,” they said. “Who can even listen to them?” they said.

But Jesus is speaking at a level beyond how we think when we hear those words. We have to try to think about them differently, more deeply.

I didn’t really get this kind of thinking until I started reading about a woman who was born in the 1300s. She lived in a little shack built against the side of St. Julian’s church in a little town called Norwich, and no one knows her real name, but we know the people of Norwich called her Mother Julian.

I went back to reading Julian during the pandemic because her life was lived in a scary time that had a lot in common with our time. 

We’ve just lived through a pandemic – in Julian’s time, half her town died from the Black (bubonic) plague. She lived during the hundred year’s war between her country, England, and France, and these days, we are always hearing about war in Ukraine and Palestine and violence in other countries. 

We are seeing a rise in poverty and homelessness, and Julian saw a lot of violence when poor people tried to overthrow the rich. There were people hunted down because of their beliefs and burned at the stake in her time. We have racism and homophobia. There were doomsday preachers in her time, and there are in our time, too.

But Julian had an experience that convinced her beyond the shadow of a doubt that God was in charge and that all would be well. Wars, plagues, poverty and violence meant that life in Julian’s time was soaked in the blood of many people who suffered and died. More suffering people came to her for counsel and help. 

Fortunately, a vision Julian had when she was very sick herself showed her that when Jesus became human like us, he knew all about blood and suffering and death and all the horrible stuff that we face as human beings. That’s when she realized that his language about giving his body and blood was really his way of saying “I give myself to you, fully and completely, because I love you so much. I’m all yours. And I promise you a life better than the one you’re living right now. I’m in charge.”

Julian’s vision of Jesus helped her to give hope and optimism to the people who visited her little shack every day of the rest of her life. People who were sick. People who had lost loved ones. People worried about their family members fighting in the wars. People who felt that God was punishing them for their sins. 

And you know what she told them? She told her visitors that the Creator of the universe doesn’t pay much attention to sin and throwing people into hell because God is the biggest love ever and can’t hate anyone or anything means he and she has created. 

According to Julian, the only thing about sin that bothers the Creator is the pain it causes for his beloved people. Creator doesn’t punish us for the things we do wrong and the mistakes we make, but if we are greedy, cruel and unkind, our actions create their own misery in our lives, don’t they? And that’s kind of what Paul is saying when he says we should avoid sin in so many of his letters.

Probably the most famous saying from Julian of Norwich is this: Sin is behovely, but all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well. In other words, sin happens, but everything is gonna be alright.

But let’s leave Julian and go back to this thing about eating and drinking Jesus’ body and blood. A lot of Christian churches have taken those words for the communion service, to eat bread as Jesus’ body, and drink wine or juice as his blood. But sometimes, I think bread and wine are just too little and ordinary to represent the huge love that Creator, Jesus, and the Spirit are offering to us.

So I’d like to invite you to close your eyes for a moment, get comfortable, and breathe in and out gently.

Now imagine you’re in a place that you really love.

Imagine that Jesus is with you.

He is looking at you with deep, deep love. The deepest love.

Listen to these words and imagine him saying them to you:

"I am Creator’s son, and I am part of everything in this world, everything you’ll ever need to have a beautiful, blessed, happy, good life. 

I am love beyond love. 

And if you are willing to receive my love in your life, to hold onto me, I offer you an eternity of joy even though life here and now is challenging. 

I love you so much, that I’m giving myself to you completely, body and blood and all the beauty of creation.

Eat me. Drink me. I’m all yours. I love you that much.”

Jesus,

Thank you for being with us. Thank you for giving us your love beyond love.

Be with us as we try to live in your love, as we do our best to love others and this world you have given us.

Bless all those we love, and those most in need of love. 

+Amen.

Monday Music Appreciation #37: Wildflowers

The harmony of the Wailin' Jennys makes me cry regularly. It reminds me of singing with my sisters. And after a weekend of folk music festival here in my city that I couldn't attend for several reasons, I'm remembering how much I enjoyed listening to the Jennys at the festival a few years back, and sharing their cover of the Tom Petty song, Wildflowers, with you. Enjoy!

Sunday Reflection: Goodwill and kindness

Today's reflection is brought to you by

Ephesians 4:31-32.

Let Creator pull the bitter roots from your heart, for they feed the rage and anger that takes you down a path of fighting, hurting and speaking evil of your fellow human beings. Instead, show goodwill and kindness to others, by releasing them from the things they have done wrong. For this is what the Great Spirit, through the Chosen One, has done for you.

First Nations Version: 

An Indigenous Translation of the New Testament 

(Downer's Grove IL: InterVarsity Press 2021, ISBN 978-0-8308-1350-6).

O Spirit,

some days I feel surrounded by hate.

Social media can be full of trolls.

The news media seems to love sensational stories.

Some talk radio loves to belittle,

berate and be miserable 

even to those trying to make the world

a better place.

Through Paul, 

writer to the community of Ephesus,

you remind us

to step away from those places

where it becomes too easy to let

empty angry talk

that harms

take us over.

Often the impulse is to give back

worse than we get,

but you invite us to let the anger go,

and respond kindly,

with words that bring forgiveness, 

strength and healing

to those who need it most.

You have marked us as your own.

Help us to remember

that we belong to you

and are your presence

by the goodness we can give

to a world 

that often seems addicted

to outrage.

+Amen

**Today's reading is timely. This week I discovered that that there has been a group of Not-In-My-Back-Yard neighbours badmouthing a local supportive housing development online, and their comments are verging on hysteria. Fortunately, other neighbours have let the Spirit flow through them, responding kindly by pointing out the beauty, goodness and truth they have seen coming through positive happenings from/with folks living at that housing development. I am very grateful to good neighbours who are letting the Spirit of love shine through their firm but gentle responses that encourage understanding rather than judgment of those who are recently housed and improving their lives.

A walk through the garden

Front yard garden this morning

This spring, my cabbage seed failed to sprout so I have none... and I had to replant my corn -- so it will be late. The strawberries fared poorly with the mulch I got from a friend (I suspect it was treated with something, but she wouldn't have known that). The heat withered most of the blossoms on our broad bean plants, but there are a still few precious beans coming for my favourite salad... 

As is usually the case come August, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed when I think about all the work I'll soon be doing to harvest, preserve and freeze veggies from our garden. I've put away plenty of berries already, but there's a lot more effort to come, and with the price of produce where it is, I'm grateful to have a garden, period! I'm also loving this season of just walking outside to bring in supper!

So here's a little video walk through our back yard for anyone who is interested (mostly me as I sometimes look back on how our garden has grown and changed over the years). If you happen to be in the neighbourhood and want to come for an in-person visit, you're welcome anytime! And I'd even be happy to make you a homegrown tomato sandwich!

Monday Music Appreciation #36: Music for a rainy day

It's been very dry here of late, so when a storm blew in just after dark last night and the rain started, I stepped out onto our front step to just listen to the sound of it, to smell it, and ended up walking a few steps out from the overhang to turn my face to the sky in full appreciation. Welcome, rain!

Today is cool and overcast, and any number of rain songs have been playing in my head, but since I've already moodled about my favourite just last year, I decided to look for something different to leave here for you, dear readers.

I heard a piece of Beethoven's "Tempest" -- Sonata #17 Op. 31 No. 2, third movement -- during a Winspear showing of Beethoven Lives Upstairs some time ago, but this is the first time I've seen Valentina Lisitsa, the American pianist who plays it so beautifully below (though her body camera makes me a little seasick...) If you want to hear more, click here for the link to hear her play the full 26-minute piece. Enjoy!

Sunday Reflection: I thank my God

An anniversary bouquet
from the grandkids

Today's reflection is brought to you by

Philippians 1: 3-5.

This past week, my amazing and wonderful parents celebrated 60 years of marriage. My sisters found a statistic saying that only four percent of couples make it that far... and indeed, a few times during this past year, the idea of them reaching 60 years was a bit iffy due to health issues. 

But through determination and effort, they have rebuilt their stamina, and we just enjoyed a week's worth of little events to mark their marriage. They're a rare pair indeed -- best friends, great parents, solid business partners, and kind-hearted, generous and welcoming folks who have more children than just us three daughters.

Mom and Dad, this one's for you:

Whenever you come into my thoughts 

I give thanks to my Creator.

I always pray with a glad heart

when I send up prayers for you,

because from the first day [of my life]

we have walked side by side

in the telling of the good story.

I have no doubts

that the one who set your feet

on this good path

will keep walking it with you

until the day that Creator Sets Free

(Jesus) The Chosen One appears...

-- Philippians 1:3-6,

First Nations Version: 

An Indigenous Translation of the New Testament 

(Downer's Grove IL: InterVarsity Press 2021, ISBN 978-0-8308-1350-6).

May Creator continue to bless you,

Dad and Mom,

with good health, joy, peace, and togetherness.

+Amen