... preferring to play with kids of the opposite gender, and being shunned by those of your assigned-at-birth gender for it.
... feeling your parents' disapproval for refusing to wear "the right clothes."
... hating your body when you reach puberty because it's taking a shape that doesn't match who you know yourself to be.
... being bullied and made fun of by other kids because you can't fit in with the image of your assigned-at-birth gender.
... wishing you could play sports on the opposite-gendered team because your sense of competition matches better with theirs.
... being afraid of your parents' reaction if you tell them that you're feeling depressed and anxious in your body, that you are wanting to transition in some way.
... "coming out" as a trans person at school because it feels safer to try your real self out among supportive school mates than at home.
... not "coming out," just flying under the radar and feeling scared and alone because no one can know the real you, only the mis-gendered you.
... considering killing yourself because it's too hard to pretend to be someone you're not.
... talking (or not talking) to your favourite teacher, telling them about your feelings and your desire to change your name, and feeling supported and safe with them (or unsupported and afraid because of possible repercussions).
... being told by other adults that you are just going through a phase, or that you've been brainwashed by the "Trans Agenda," or that God made only two genders -- "He made you as you are and He doesn't make mistakes."
... going through a period of severe and debilitating depression and dysphoria, until your parents insist on getting help for you when you tell them everything.
... going through a period of severe and debilitating depression and dysphoria, telling your parents why, and being kicked out of the house.
... starting hormone therapy, and feeling for the first time like things are changing for the better.
... following your heart bravely, with (or without) family support, doing what you have to do to feel "right" within yourself.
... changing your name officially to one that fits you.
... finding a Gay Straight Alliance or other supportive group of other 2SLGBTQIA+ people who make you laugh, support you, and share your interests.
... navigating many medical hurdles and hurtful human judgments, battling gender dysphoria for years while on a lengthy waiting list for the medical care you need.
... completing the psychological assessments and painful surgeries necessary to become who you know yourself to be.
... rejoicing in a body that finally fits you, but still worrying about the violent tendencies of those who judge you and refuse to even try to understand.
... sitting in the gallery of the Alberta Legislative Assembly, angry tears streaming down your cheeks as the government tables legislation preventing other people from being able to do what you have done to survive and thrive as a transgender person.
* * * * * * *
Today is the Transgender Day of Remembrance, a day when we remember those people who have died due to the harms caused by a society that feels uncomfortable because some people just don't fit into the expected gender boxes.
As a Catholic mom of a trans person, and someone who knows other really wonderful trans people, I can't sit in silence. My church's refusal to allow for the existence of trans people has driven me to its edges, and to a more inclusive faith community. And the government is even worse -- this has been a horrifying week for the trans community as they watch their human rights being eroded by the Alberta government's invocation of the notwithstanding clause, preventing court challenges against anti-trans legislations that endanger kids like mine.
Even one life lost because of these laws is one too many.
If you know any trans people, be sure give them your support and love today, and consider contacting your own government representatives to let them know that Trans Rights are Human Rights that you support, wherever you may be.
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