Sunday Reflection: Top or bottom of the heap?

Today's reflection is brought to you by

Mark 10:35-45.

It was a gorgeous morning as I drove to ICPM this morning -- a stunning, fiery sunrise was reflected in the windows of the downtown skyscrapers, so I quickly pulled off and took a picture.

It was also a challenging morning for me at the Community of Emmanuel. It was my first time sitting in my friend Farley's chair and playing and singing Part of the Family, a song we always sang together, without him. Let's just say I was a mess, but people sang along and we got through it. I'm grateful that I don't have to lead the music for his memorial service in a week's time.

It was also my turn to give a reflection on the reading. I'll leave it here for my readers. I hope you all have a good week.

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This is an interesting Sunday reading, don’t you think? Here we have James and John, two of Jesus’ friends and disciples, and basically, they’re asking Jesus to make them his “main men.” They’ve seen how popular and amazing Jesus is and want some of his amazingness to rub off on them – so they can be more important than Jesus' other followers. So they’re kinda sneaky with their request to Jesus, probably because they know the other guys won’t like it if they’re seen as more important. 

I suspect that if we look inside ourselves – if I look inside myself – I know that there’s a little bit of James and John in me too. There’s a bit of insecurity, maybe, that sometimes makes me want to be seen as important, or special, or maybe I want to feel like I’m better than others, especially people I don’t like. 

This little episode with Jesus and James and John makes me think of one of my friends, who isn't really a friend. All my life, my relationship with her has felt like a competition for some reason that I can’t quite understand. Maybe it’s all in my head, but many of my interactions with her have felt like a contest when I really didn’t want to compete. For example, when I was six, my parents bought me my first bike, and my friend started bragging about her bike being bigger than mine, and she could ride without training wheels! Her teachers were always better than my teachers, to hear her tell it. As we went through High School, she bragged about her grades, which were always better than mine. In our twenties, my friend boasted about being so busy, having the best job, and having so many friends, but I was more introverted and didn’t feel like my work or my friends were part of a competition. And when we got married and had our families, she made even the arrival of our babies feel like some sort of contest. It was weird. It's puzzled me all my life, and makes me a little sad too, because I just wanted us to be true friends, but I ended up avoiding her. 

Here’s the thing about competition – it divides people into two categories: winners and losers. What happens next is that the losers have an inferiority complex because they’ve lost, and the winners have a superiority complex because they’ve won, and the two groups don’t mix because of resentments that build up in a win-lose world. The losers are unhappy with losing and become more determined to get the winner’s prize, and the winners are watching their backs because they know the losers might beat them next time and they have to protect their status as winners. In this scripture reading today, the other disciples got mad when they heard about James and John’s request to be Jesus’ hot shot helpers. 

One of my favourite spiritual writers, Henri Nouwen, explains it well. This is what he says: “The society in which we live suggests in countless ways that the way to go is up. Making it to the top, entering the limelight, breaking the record - that's what draws attention, gets us on the front page of the newspaper, and offers us [big] rewards....” 

James and John are so excited about the “big reward” of sitting beside Jesus in his glory that they don’t think about how the others might feel, or even hear what Jesus says to them about the suffering he, and by association, they, will have to endure. “Oh, yes, yes, we can drink your cup and follow your path” they say, but we all know where that path ultimately led. To the cross. Jesus’ glory is not a King-dom, like the Roman Empire. It’s a Kin-dom, a place where we are all kin, all brothers and sisters, equal in every way. Jesus’ heaven isn’t a race up a ladder. It’s a wide open gate for everyone who lives in love, where nobody is top dog because we all have our own unique and special qualities. 

Henry Nouwen continues by saying, “The way of Jesus is radically different. It is the way not of upward mobility but of downward mobility. It is going to the bottom, staying behind the sets, and choosing the last place! Why is the way of Jesus worth choosing? Because it is … the way Jesus took… the way that brings everlasting life.” 

Jesus offers a completely different kind of world than what James and John were expecting. And when the disciples got angry with James and John for trying to be the top dogs, Jesus told them all to sit down and listen, and he explained that his Kin-dom is about serving one another, not trying to be the greatest. In Jesus’ books, the great ones in this life aren’t the ones who climb over everyone else on their way to the top of the heap, but are the ones hustling around the bottom of it, trying to help everybody else up too. 

Of course, when we look around the world we are in right now, we can see that there are a lot of so-called “hot shots” or “top dogs” who think they are the winners in this life because they’ve clawed their way to positions of power over other people. But what would Jesus say to them? The same thing he says to his disciples and to us: “The great ones among you will humble themselves and serve all the others.” 

So the next question is, what does it mean to serve? Let’s look at Jesus and how he did it. He spent his ministry listening to people, reminding them by his actions that God loved them. He healed the sick. He cared for the broken hearted. He walked alongside people where they were at, and forgave what needed forgiveness to free them from their burdens. He encouraged people to choose the good path. He was generous to everyone, not interested in piling up possessions, but sharing all that he had. Above all, he loved everyone, no matter if they were powerful or small in the world’s eyes. As he said in the reading, he offered his life in the place of many, to set them free. 

Can we be that kind of servant to others? Can we listen? Can our actions be an extension of God’s care for the people we meet? Can we listen to other people’s broken hearts and share ours and find healing as a community? Can we walk alongside each other and forgive what needs forgiveness? Can we choose the good path and share what we have? Can we love everyone, even when the world seems stuck on making everyone either a winner or a loser? Can we set each other and ourselves free by letting go of grudges and anger and choosing the way of love above all? 

Let’s talk to Creator about it. I invite you to pray in your heart with me: 

Creator, 

Here I am, 

just the way you made me. 

You know me. 

You know everything about me – 

the good things, 

the things I am proud of, 

the things I like to brag about… 

and the things about myself that I’m not proud of,

that make me ashamed.

You know everything.

 

And still, you love me. 

You love me! 

And you love everybody else too. 

Help me, 

Creator, 

to remember that everyone is your beloved child. 

Help me to be like your son, Jesus, 

who made himself a servant to everyone. 

Help me to listen with love. 

Help me to accept people without judging them. 

Help me to go the extra mile for others who need help. 

Help me to love and forgive and serve others, 

 to see where I can help, 

 and to do what Jesus would do with kindness and compassion.

 

+AMEN.