The first will be last and the last will be first

Recently, my two youngest daughters developed a little game on their way to school in the morning. It's called, "Who can leave the house first?" Almost inevitably, the youngest is the last one out the door because she's just not as organized as everyone else. This morning, however, she got up a few minutes earlier than usual and was actually ready before her older sister, but older sister blocked the doorway as she was putting on her shoes. I was called to the door to witness injustice: older sister leaning against the door, and younger one almost in tears because, hard as she had tried to be first, she wasn't going to win (again) without parental intervention.

What is it with human beings and competitiveness? Why do we feel that first place is the best place? When will we ever learn that for every winner, much more is lost?

Having been the eldest of three girls in my own family of origin, of course I am as guilty of playing the "first-last" game as anyone else. My parents had to intervene so that my sisters could win, too, and from that, I learned that losing can be better than winning, because first place can be a lonely place. I also had a few very competitive cousins my age, and from them I learned that deeper friendships form when competition has no place in them.

Oh, a little friendly competition can be a fun thing, but too often, it is carried to the extreme, and produces the negative results of broken communion. Those who always come first inevitably and unwittingly succeed in building walls around themselves and their success -- and end up envied and even disliked by those who didn't win. Those who lose aren't any better off. Their frustration and anger at being denied first place destroys communion for them, too, often leading to a sense of inferiority that no one wants to carry.

However, those who don't care about the game of first and last lose nothing. Their refusal to take competition seriously leaves them open to communion with everyone, first and last alike, because they have nothing to lose. This, however, goes against human nature as we know it!

Of course, these thoughts have applications to my pet topic, Voluntary Simplicity. People who choose to live simply refuse to play the game of winners and losers that consumer culture has laid out for them to play. They don't live by the adage of "who dies with the most toys, wins." Instead, they opt for using only as much as they need rather than being "first" in possessions, fashion, trendiness, and power. They try to live in communion with the earth and with those who will never "win" first place. I think they are the people Jesus is referring to when he says, "the last will be first," (Mk 10.31) or "the meek... will inherit the earth" (Mt 5.5) because for them, the happiness of everyone and everything in communion is more important than anything else.

When my daughters come home from school today, I plan to sit down with each of them and discuss their "first-out-the-door" game and its implications. Somehow, I doubt things will change much, but maybe I can convince them that their game isn't worth playing if they both want to leave the house happy in the mornings. Everyone's happiness, after all, is the true bottom line.