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Sunday, September 29, 2024

Guest Moodler: Be Real

Today's reflection was given by my friend, Cathy, for her United Church Community. The United Church and many other churches mark today as Truth and Reconciliation Sunday because it is the day closest to National Truth and Reconciliation Day, a day that was declared in Canada in response to the Truth and Reconciliation Commission's 94 Calls to Action. 

Truth and Reconciliation Sunday
at the Community of Emmanuel
So our little Community of Emmanuel prayed heartfelt prayers several times and in different ways for Truth and Reconciliation during our 45 minute service. 

Then at the Catholic Mass I attended afterward with my parents and Lee, there was not one word about Truth and Reconciliation. Not one word. 

So this afternoon, I walked to my nearest Anglican Church to enjoy their commemoration of the day with sharings by people who are survivors of residential schools and intergenerational trauma, honour songs, and a round dance. At the end there was a wonderful spirit of community and bannock to share. 

Today I feel the poverty of my own church's neglect of a day that should be important to all Canadians, no matter their faith. It's not even mentioned in the Canadian Catholic Liturgical Calendar in my monthly missalette, though other churches have been commemorating it since it was declared in 2021, and have been acknowledging the need for truth and reconciliation efforts since long before that!

In the spirit of reconciliation, I share my friend Cathy's reflection. May a willingness to hear the Truth and to work for Reconciliation be the basis for all our interactions with Indigenous People who have suffered so much because of past abuse and neglect and the forcing of foreign world views that were not in keeping with their respect for all people and Creator's creation.

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Sermon September 29, 2024
“Face Facts: Be Real”
National Day of Truth and Reconciliation
Cathy Coulter

When I was mulling over ideas for a sermon for our challenging reading today, I was doing a crossword and I read this clue: Face Facts, 6 letters. Answer? Be real. And I thought, that's what Jesus is doing in this passage from Mark as he teaches his disciples and us. Face facts. Sin and evil are real. There's no sugar coating it.

Tomorrow is the National Day for Truth and Reconciliation. The truth and reconciliation process and the day marking it is a time to face the facts of the tragic legacy of residential schools and a long history of injustice towards Indigenous people. Over the last few decades many of us in this country were waking up to facing the facts of these harms. I know I was, having never been exposed to history from an indigenous point of view. It has been an uncomfortable wake up call as we think about our history as a country.

Last year I also led the service for the National Day for Truth and Reconciliation and I spoke about my own journey of reconciliation. My journey and my reactions were painful at times, and beautiful at times. I experienced growth and change. We do grow. We increase our awareness, our understanding, our compassion. This is good. And as time marches on we will continue to grow and get better and better. The world will get better and better. Kinder, safer, better for all. More equality. More caring and sharing.

At least that's how I used to think the world worked. Progress. Maybe a few setbacks. Dr. Martin Luther King said, “the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice”. In popular movies and books that I like, the good guys ultimately win over evil. The Psalms and other scripture often talk about the goodness of God prevailing. Psalm 27 says, “I am sure I shall see the goodness of our God in the land of the living” (Psalm 27:13).

And I believe that with all my heart. But at the same time, as I age, as I see what's happening in the world, I think I've been naïve to believe that things will always get better. I remember the moment I lost my naïve optimism. It was the 2016 US election. Then there was the pandemic and more and more polarization on social media and wars and political discord and environmental destruction with no evidence that humanity will turn it around. Increasing homelessness. Increasing addiction. Increasing anger and random acts of violence.  A young generation awash in anxiety. Backlashes to issues I thought were progressing. The complication of doing what we think is the right thing and the confusion when the ripple effects turn out to be the wrong thing. The dangers of black and white thinking.

Does anyone else feel this way? I  know they do because I've heard lots of people talk about not looking forward to the future in this current time. It's easy to feel despair when we think things are getting worse. But difficult times present an opportunity; an opportunity to face facts. To be real. To look at some hard truths. Jesus was not one to shy away from talking hard truths. Talking about sin and evil, like in our reading today. It sure can be uncomfortable. So bear with the discomfort while I explore it, but know that I'll get around to some good news as well, because Jesus is also all about good news.

Sin is a word I sort of rejected many years ago. The sin and redemption model of Christianity was very harsh and hard to relate to, frankly. I tried to be a good person. I didn't think I'd racked up a lot of big sins. The thought of people I loved, or even anyone, going to hell because they were so called sinners or they didn't believe in Christ didn't make sense to me. The word sin can be very triggering for people who associate it with fire and brimstone preachers who judge everyone who doesn't fit into their very narrow view of what is acceptable. I remember a mentor talking about how the prayer of confession in church would be more helpful if it became a prayer of affirmation for all those people who had trouble feeling worthy. That made sense to me. The image of God as a harsh judge who punished sin was gradually replaced in my imagination by a more loving God who loves us in all that we are. I began to see that getting better and better in an effort to become perfect is not a requirement to earn God's love.

This was all very important for me to address my own feelings of unworthiness. But gradually, as I became more grounded, I began to consider the concept of sin again with more nuance. What was it in me that didn't do the good I wanted to do, but the harmful things that I do not want to do, as Paul says in Romans? Why did I feel stuck so much of the time and not the person I wanted to be?  Why did I feel close to God one day, and completely distant the next? Why couldn't I understand myself?

Answering all that required me to look within, at all the faults and compulsions and shadows that hide there. Doing that with the security that God loves me no matter what, allowed me to admit I'm a flawed human being and not try to pretend otherwise. And while I do my best to correct what is hampering me or harming others, I'm never going to reach perfection. Can I learn to accept myself as God does, even as the loser that I am?

I heard a story once that struck a chord in me. A spiritual teacher named James Finley has problems with being forgetful and disorganized and he went to give a talk one evening and realized he'd forgotten all his notes. So he had to quickly jot some thoughts down just before he went on and in exasperation at himself, he talked to God saying, “God, am I ever going to get over this problem of not getting it all together?” and he heard God reply, “It's not looking good, Jim. But I love you anyway.” I loved that story. I felt something relax in me when I heard it. My striving for perfection for getting better and better all the time wasn't likely going to work nor was it a necessity to my being okay.

So the word sin for me became another way of saying my human limitations. Flaws that hamper me and harm others, whether intentionally or not. And yes, I can work on these things as best I can to grow in understanding and compassion. But first and foremost I have to humbly acknowledge them.

So what is Jesus saying in our reading today about cutting off our hand or foot or taking out our eye if it causes us to lose our faith rather than be thrown into hell? Well, I'm not sure, but one thing seems clear and it's that Jesus is telling us to take sin seriously. To face facts. To be real. To practice telling the truth about our lives, as we said in the prayer of confession this morning.

But there is more to sin than just recognizing our own faults. There is sin in the rest of humanity, in society. This is where my naïve optimism that the world was getting nicer and nicer kind of crashed as I wonder if that is even possible for humanity.

I came across a book in the library whose title caught my eye. It was “I Don't Believe in Atheists ” by Chris Hedges. In it he talks about the belief in our society that we progress morally as a species. The belief that science and reason will save us. That we think humans are “the culmination...of centuries of human advancement, rather than creatures unable to escape from the irrevocable follies and blunders of human nature.” Unless we face the facts of the sinfulness in the human condition, we will ignore or minimize catastrophes, thinking eventually things will get better. I think this has been true of the climate crisis or war, with us thinking “we'll figure it out in time” or “we are better than that now” while it has become clear that we haven't figured it out in time and that we are not better than that. While I do see the amazing goodness in people and am optimistic that our better natures can prevail, I think it's important to be real that when given the opportunity and in many circumstances, people can behave very, very badly. How many people, famous and otherwise, have I admired, heroes to me even, who have been exposed in scandal? Too many to count.

Hedges writes, “We have nothing to fear from those who do or do not believe in God; we have much to fear from those who do not believe in sin. The concept of sin is a stark acknowledgement that we can never be omnipotent, that we are bound and limited by human flaws and self-interest.” By acknowledging and being alert to sin in humanity and society, we are better prepared to address it, work to limit it, and not sweep it under the rug. Being awake to humans'  propensity to cause harm means we are more awake to the harms humans are causing, preventing us from hiding in a comfortable bubble while we passively wait for the world to change. It's like the work to look at our own individual faults and flaws. We become clear-eyed about sin and evil in the world, not in a despairing way and not in a way that leaves us feeling nothing but guilt, but in a real way that gives us courage to understand it and to stand up to it. Just as Jesus did.

For that we need to be rooted in hope. As Jesus was. But before I talk about that I'll mention one more idea from the Christ Hedges' book because it fits with our reading.

Hedges talks about the dangerous path of fundamentalist religion that needs to convert or overcome non-believers even by violent means. The Crusades of the Middle Ages, witch burnings, the Spanish Inquisition, the missionaries in the new world. And on and on into our present time. But Hedges argues that just as dangerous are the new atheists who have a utopian belief that science and reason will allow humanity to master its destiny and everyone standing in the way of that need to be cancelled or overcome, including and especially, religious people. He says these two groups, the fundamentalists and the more extreme and vocal atheists, both peddle in absolutes and call for the conversion or eradication of those who aren't on-side. I find there is more and more of that “our side vs your side” in today's world and I find it disturbing. People who feel they are on the right side of history can be very scathing about those who they feel are on the wrong side of history. Those who think they are right can be violent towards those they think are wrong, no matter what the issue. “If you're not with us, you're part of the problem and we can't associate with you,” seems to be the attitude.

Jesus warns about this in the first part of our reading when the disciples were a little peeved with those weren't in their group but were driving out demons. Jesus told them to let those demon-expellers be. It would soon be clear enough who was legitimate and who wasn't. I think this is a warning to us not to be too quick to dismiss those who aren't in the correct group or don't think the way we do. This is the lesson of small communities who have to get along with everyone, no matter what their politics or religious beliefs are, if they are to have any kind of community life. “Have the salt of friendship among yourselves, and live in peace with one another,” Jesus says at the end of our reading.

Be real about sin but live in hope that God's goodness will prevail. Be clear-eyed about human frailty but live in peace with one another. And while I didn't finish the Chris Hedges' book, I couldn't help thinking that there was something missing in what he was saying. I think he was missing love. The power of love to transform our frailties into a power for good. Yes, the world has big problems and this will never change. We progress morally, we fall back. And on and on it goes. But we don't need to despair because somehow God is present in all of it. The suffering and the goodness. The human weakness and the courage. The arc of the moral universe bending towards justice. Thanks be to God for all that we are, and all that we can be, but mostly for all that we are. May we be real with ourselves and our humanity, just as real as God is and hope is and love is. Amen.

Wednesday, September 11, 2024

A busy Southern Alberta summer

It's been quite an unusual summer as Lee and I have made several trips to Southern Alberta in order to care for his dad.

Dad Louis was born and raised in Southern Alberta, and when Lee's mom passed away in 2021, we explained to Dad that it would be much easier for the whole family to visit him if he came to live in Edmonton. But he wouldn't hear of it and remained living in his house until last September, when he lost his driver's license and we knew that it would be dangerous for him to continue living alone through the winter.

Our kids came to help us, and we moved him to an independent living senior's apartment on the last day of September, 2023. We spent a few months after that clearing out the house, and sold it in May.

Dad was mostly happy living in his new place -- he loved the meals, served restaurant style -- and his apartment was just the right size for him. But after dental surgery this spring, his health took a sudden turn, and the dementia that had been hovering around the edges of his life set in, full force. 

When we visited in June, we found Dad confused and unable to care for himself, so we increased the presence of homecare companions to give medications and help him get dressed in the mornings. And we spoke to him again about seniors facilities in Edmonton where we could help him out without having to drive 500 km every time something went wrong. "I was born in Southern Alberta, and I'll die in Southern Alberta," was his response.

Lee and his brothers took on a lot of extra responsibilities over the summer months, scoping out places where Dad could receive more care, taking over the finances he could no longer manage, hiring Jovy, who cared for Lee's mom in her last years, to be his companion and check on him every morning. We visited and phoned more frequently. But on August 15th, one of the residence's homecare aids sent Dad to Emergency because she found him wheezing, lethargic, and unwilling to get out of bed; that was his last day in his apartment. 

Dad spent almost three weeks in hospital being treated for various infections, and last Wednesday, he was released into a cottage for people with dementia. He's not happy about that because he loved his previous home with the view of the lovely courtyard garden, the staff and residents who complimented him on his tomato plants, and his job of sweeping the benches around the building clean through all seasons. He liked to have things to do. (We loved the place too, and are sad that his time there ended so soon.)

We're not exactly happy either, because he's still 5 hours away, none of his children have a home base or place to stay there, and trips south are tiring, plain and simple. But we love him and continue to support him as best we can. We worked like dogs last week to set up his new place and empty the old one. Local charities benefitted a lot from the downsizing we had to do.

For the time being, Dad is "storming" a bit -- not cooperating with the staff very well, and we are so grateful for Jovy's presence in his life because he trusts her. Today she took him to a medical appointment, and he cooperated very well with her. She's family to him as much as, or maybe more, than we are, because she can be there every day.

We're keeping our fingers crossed and praying hard that Dad will soon settle into "Louis' Place" with its deep purple door. It's a hard change for him, but we know he's safe and cared for. We're counting our blessings that things happened so quickly and safely for him, and we thank all those who knew about these challenges we were facing and kept the whole situation in prayer. 

Prayer works!

Monday, September 9, 2024

Monday Music Appreciation #38 : Big Boned Gal

I don't know what it is about this song, but it's been calling to me from my far past... probably because it mentions Southern Alberta (and I've spent a lot of time there of late -- more on that tomorrow) and because school has started again. The album this song comes from is intrinsically linked to when I was starting out as a teacher in rural Alberta and listened to it until I wore out my cassette. The voice of k.d. lang has caught my ear ever since, and her music fills my heart with a lot of plain old joy because she is unapologetically herself, always, and she's got pipes! 

She's also reuniting with her former band, the Reclines, for the Canadian Country Music Awards this week. I hope they all have a great time! In the meantime, enjoy this old tune on me!