Thursday, December 31, 2020

Farewell to 2020

Last walk of 2020
Like many people, I suspect, I've been giving a lot of thought to this year of 2020. There's a lot about it that we have complained about, some of it rightly so. But the bellyaching about minor inconveniences has driven me a little bit bonkers, because most of it has come from people who are very well off in comparison to our essential workers, medical staff, and those who were struggling due to marginalization and injustices since long before the pandemic was declared.

I guess that many of us had certain expectations of 2020, and then when the world was forced to slow down because of COVID-19, some of those expectations were dashed. But how bad was it, really? It was so bad that 1.81 million people have died. That's horrendous for every single person who lost people they love, and there's no getting around that kind of grief.

But... do we still have the love of our family and friends? Do we have a roof over our heads and food on our tables? Have we found new ways of connecting to the people who are important to us? Does nature continue to revive us when we spend time outdoors? Has our earth had a chance to breathe because of a lower level of consumption of its resources? 

No, we probably didn't travel great distances, and we may have sacrificed many things for the sake of the health of people we love, but the fact is that life changes in the blink of an eye all the time, it's just that we generally live in denial about that fact since it hasn't happened on a collective basis in North America since the World Wars.

2020 has been a year where we have been forced to realize that our way of life isn't as secure as we imagined it, and as a result, we have seen both the best and the worst of people. But to me it feels like rather than taking the credit or the blame ourselves for the way things have been going, we are assuming that if we can sweep the old year out the door and get a vaccine, things will automatically be better in the new year. The problem is that if we continue playing fast and loose with the truth, and if our leaders continue to choose wealth over wisdom, we'll be in worse shape yet in a year's time. It's up to us to demand better of ourselves and them.

Remember the cartoons of the old man year being followed by the baby new year? This afternoon, I made my own version of Old Man 2020, with his truthful comment, "But none of this was my fault!" If I was to do a follow up cartoon, I'd definitely remember to put a mask on him, and have the 'old man year' offer counsel to the 'baby new year' along the lines of, "Do your best to develop a thick skin. You'll need it!"

Throughout the year 2020, perhaps we have rediscovered the problem -- we've become a very individualistic society, which hasn't been very helpful in a time when we all need to pull together for the sake of the most vulnerable, and for ourselves. So I was delighted to discover the words of the US civil rights leader, John Lewis, who died earlier this year, in my inbox this morning. And I want to end this difficult year with his words, as an antidote to our individualistic tendencies in North America, and an encouragement toward positive change in 2021:

Study the path of others to make your way easier and more abundant. 

Lean toward the whispers of your own heart, discover the universal truth, and follow its dictates. 

Know that the truth always leads to love and the perpetuation of peace.  

Its products are never bitterness and strife. 

Clothe yourself in the work of love, in the revolutionary work of nonviolent resistance against evil. 

Anchor the eternity of love in your own soul and embed this planet with goodness. 

Release the need to hate, to harbor division, and the enticement of revenge.

Release all bitterness.

Hold only love, only peace in your heart, knowing that the battle of good to overcome evil is already won.

Choose confrontation wisely, but when it is your time, don't be afraid to stand up, speak up, and speak out against injustice.

And if you follow your truth down the road to peace and the affirmation of love, if you shine like a beacon for all to see, then the poetry of all the great dreamers and philosophers is yours to manifest in a nation, a world community, and a Beloved Community that is finally at peace with itself.

-- John Lewis with Brenda Jones, 
Across That Bridge: A Vision for Change and the Future of America 
(Hachette Books: 2017, ©2012), 208.

Tuesday, December 29, 2020

My "Uncle Vic" ring

My Uncle Vic is an amazing man, one of those people whose sometimes gruff exterior holds a heart of gold, the kind of guy whose straight face suddenly surprises you with a wink you didn't see coming. I didn't know him very well as I was growing up because he lived in Saskatoon, 520 km from my home, and when we did visit him, our visits were short because there were numerous relatives to see from both of my parents' families. But I always liked catching up with his kids, and seeing Uncle Vic and my dad kibbitzing. 

Over the last few years, I haven't been to Saskatoon, but my parents have told me some interesting stories about Uncle Vic. He got into and really enjoyed barbershop singing with a group in Saskatoon -- he's always had a great singing voice, coming from a pretty musical family. My kids were amazed by him and my dad harmonizing at a family reunion/birthday party a few years ago, as he was a great-uncle they had only just met, a part of their grandpa's life that they had missed out on. Vic was also a jack of all trades, having more varied occupations over the years than any of his brothers, or so it always seemed to me. 

Not long after I started my short-lived teaching career, I remember visiting with Uncle Vic and Auntie Jennie on my own steam, having driven all the way to Saskatoon without the rest of my family, a first visit as a young adult. We went out for lunch somewhere and caught up on life in general. When I learned that Uncle Vic was managing a jewelry store, a lightbulb went off in my head. I showed my uncle the birthstone ring I was wearing, good gold with a cheap imitation emerald that had a bad chip.

"I can fix that, no problem," he told me. "Just leave it with me." When I insisted on paying for the repair, he waved me off, saying it wasn't worth fretting about. So I gave him the address of the school where I was working in rural Alberta, and sure enough, about a month later, the school secretary handed me a very special package. My ring looked brand new, and I was so delighted! I sent Uncle Vic a thank you card and wore that ring proudly for many years, until my knuckles started to thicken and I couldn't slide it on and off my right ring finger very easily. I put it in my jewelry box, and only wore it on my birthdays.

In his retirement, Uncle Vic wasn't content to rest on his laurels, and took a job as Walmart Greeter in Saskatoon. The next thing the extended family knew, he was an internet sensation, because someone on a high-traffic Facebook page named him as their favourite greeter and all around good guy. There were dozens, if not hundreds of accolades from customers who appreciated his friendliness and his willingness to go the extra mile in helping people, and it was wonderful to see him recognized that way.

Unfortunately, 2020 has not been kind to my uncle, and my parents have been keeping me informed about a dementia diagnosis and other health issues. When I heard about Uncle Vic's struggles, I went straight to my jewelry box and put on my ring as a reminder to pray for him, Auntie Jennie and their family. The problem was that it only fit loosely on my little finger, but I took a chance and wore it anyway. In the midst of this pandemic, my aunt made the difficult decision to move to Calgary and stay with their daughter's family so she would have help caring for Uncle Vic, and many prayers from many people went with them.

About two weeks ago, after a wintry walk with Lee and the dog, I suddenly realized that Uncle Vic's ring was missing from my finger. I had switched from leather gloves to warmer mittens halfway through a walk around the Legislature grounds, and when I checked my gloves, mittens, pockets, the floor of the car, and every other possible place where the ring might have ended up, I grieved when I couldn't find it. Even more so when my dad called four days later to tell me that Uncle Vic was in hospital, diagnosed with terminal lung cancer.

It goes without saying that this is a tough Christmas for Uncle Vic and his family. They are never far from my thoughts and prayers. I was thinking about him this morning as I was sorting our clean clothes to put away... and when I went to put a couple of sweaters in my dresser drawer, I noticed a glint of gold and green at the bottom. 

My ring probably slipped off the last time I put my sweaters away, just before the walk! I laughed out loud, delighted to see it again, and slipped it onto my finger. There it stays, a constant reminder of these loved ones who are walking the toughest road right now, that of illness and decline, one that we all walk in different ways and at different times. I keep them all in my prayers, and ask God for wise healthcare professionals and gentle moments of music, simple joy and deep love for my uncle, aunt and cousins.

Update: Uncle Vic died early in the morning of January 6, the Feast of the Epiphany, with his daughter Nadine by his side. It's a comfort to know that God's presence was revealed (Epiphany means revelation) to him that day. Prayers for his family in this time of loss are appreciated.

Friday, December 25, 2020

Christmas Prayer 2020


I think it was an old "father of the church" named Irenaeus who said something like "God became human, so we could become divine." A very loose (and inclusive) translation, but one that I have been reflecting on throughout the days leading up to this Christmas.

Over the past few years, my heart and my belief in God have expanded to the point that I cringe whenever Christians insist on Jesus above everything, as if to say that all the other faiths in the world, many of them far more ancient than Christianity, are somehow less valid or valuable than Christian belief. I wish that everyone was able to take a course on World Religions, and learn that there is so much more to faith and spirituality than what our churches teach us.

But the one thing about Christianity that I really do appreciate is the idea that God wanted  to be with us, to live the life we live, to suffer as we suffer, to rejoice as we rejoice, and to teach us that if we rely on love to guide us, the world is a better place. So Jesus came in solidarity with our human condition, to remind us that when we let God's love guide us, we are more like the force that sustains the universe than like pitiful, fallible human beings.

After a month of meditation about God-coming-to-be-with-us, this is my Christmas prayer for all of us in this strange pandemic year:

You,
O God,
Emmanuel,
came to be with us
in all our struggles,
to demonstrate humility and selflessness
and to remind us 
that when we let love for all that is
guide our ways,
we are as close to you
as we can come.

Be with us
and move us
to reach out to all who are struggling
so that in our own struggles
we learn the solidarity
you came to teach us.

Bless us
and help us.

Help us to re-make our world
so that those who have much
divide what we have with those who have little,
so that those who are in sorrow
receive reasons for joy,
so that those who are sick 
reach good health once again, 
and those who are lonely
are surrounded by your love in us,
your people.

+Amen

Saturday, December 5, 2020

Ecumenical Advent Prayer 2020

If you're looking for a bit of Advent reflection, here's an opportunity in these pandemic days to pray for our healthcare workers, those who are sick, and for an end to COVID-19 and its many related issues. I'll be livestreaming the prayer at 7 pm (Mountain Time) from the safety of my own home, thanks to the wonders of the internet, and we'll spend some time with scripture, silence and song, in a way that we can sing along in our own places with no worry about catching or spreading the virus. 


The icon of the Mother of Tenderness, above, written by a brother from the Taize community, will grace the prayer space as we anticipate the birth of Christ among us in these dark days. Those of us who long for God's light can sing it together. Feel free to copy the link below and share with friends...

Please join us by clicking here: https://www.facebook.com/events/381497772952842/

Tuesday, December 1, 2020

The green wall

For the last few years, I've been puzzling about how to have fresh tomatoes in winter without buying the tasteless greenhouse varieties that travel long distances -- and use more energy calories in the fossil fuels that transport them to me than my body could ever derive from them. A first world problem, to be sure, but I can't help it that I love tomatoes all year round. That's why I can and freeze as many as possible every autumn -- but even so, nothing beats a fresh, homegrown tomato!

So this year, we're trying an experiment. We cleared out the corner of our basement nearest to our furnace and moved our grow lights in from the greenhouse (which doesn't get enough sun or heat to grow anything in these darkest wintry days). Lee put up a few shelves on brackets, and I set 18 little tomato plants on them, curious to see how they will grow.

October 18

It's been over 40 days since this picture was taken, and things have been progressing. At first, we had issues with fungus gnats because tomato plants need good moisture or the fruit ends up with blossom end rot, and maybe I was overdoing the watering. Now I'm watering from the bottom, thanks to the recycled lasagna trays under each pot, and the gnats, which come from the top inch or so of the soil, have died down. 

Then, there was the issue of pollination -- which I have been handling with a small water colour paint brush, pretending to be a happy little bumblebee. And last week, I discovered that some of the plants were developing bad cases of powdery mildew fungus, which I spray treated with 1 part milk to 4 parts water solution. A good trick, that. I'm thinking to use it on my rose bushes next summer. 

These tomato plants aren't quite as hearty as I would hope -- maybe I planted the wrong varieties, their roots can't reach down through 3 meters of good soil, and I'm not fertilizing enough (my vermicomposters are just getting going again after being outdoors all summer, so there's no worm casting fertilizer yet, and I refuse to buy chemicals). The bone meal stuff we have leftover from the days before we got wise to more organic means simply isn't soluble. 

At least our plants get stalk thickening breezes from a couple of fans we've set on timers, and they are flowering and fruiting, so we should have a few edible tomatoes somewhere down the road. It's an experiment, and if there's a yield, that will be wonderful. 

Of course, I've already reaped the bonuses of keeping my fingers in the dirt in spite of winter, and of watching things grow!


Wednesday, November 25, 2020

The Social in social justice



Last week, I was asked to write an article for the national social justice newsletter for the Society of St. Vincent de Paul. I share it here, for reflection purposes, as it sort of ties in with my previous moodling.

The Social in Social Justice 

As a volunteer for the Society of St. Vincent de Paul, I have never questioned the need for social justice for those living under the poverty line. It’s clear with every home visit that there are people in need, but our faith teaches us that if God’s justice truly lived in our land, no one would be struggling to survive. No one would have to choose between food or a roof overhead, and society’s fears about unemployment, crime, addictions, loneliness, and mental health issues would simply cease to be. Instead, we live in a world where the gap between rich and poor continues to grow, and where racism, sexism, homo- and transphobia continue to take their toll on peoples’ mental health and well-being, especially during this pandemic. 

But even with the corona virus raging, SSVP volunteers continue to think, talk and act toward making social justice a reality. Those who are able in these days continue to deliver groceries and furniture to our sisters and brothers in need while trying to follow the protocols set by our health experts and other community leaders. We continue to engage in advocacy for those who live on the margins by contacting officials who hold power when it comes to improving public policy, and participating in fundraising where possible to increase our capacity for outreach. 

But sometimes I wonder if we’re maybe missing something. I don’t question the need for social justice, I just wonder where the Social part of it is when it comes to really connecting with the marginalized during this pandemic. I wonder, is it enough to make a few phone calls and deliver some groceries? Is a load of furniture really the most important thing for that family of migrants? And even before covid, when Ray used to come to the Clothing Room every week for another pair of mittens because “somebody stole my last pair, and I know I’m only supposed to come once every ninety days, but my hands are cold, and I have a buddy who also needs mittens, and it’s really good to see you, Maria,” was it really mittens that he needed most? 

The Social in social justice is about creating social change for the common good of all, but isn’t it also about building human connection? As a volunteer, I find it easy to focus on the need for justice, the things that we can do to improve the lives of those who are struggling to make ends meet, or to find a job, or to get out of situational domestic violence. 

Providing material things is relatively easy. But often it’s the immaterial that is the deeper need -- the need for community, the need to be seen as a valuable and valued member of society. I guess what I’m wondering about is whether all this doing we are doing doesn’t also need an equally large side order of being during this pandemic. How can we be available for more than just the time it takes to drop things on the doorstep when we are told that we have to keep social distance and it’s cold outside? How, when making contact with someone in need, can we listen more, to offer not just material, but also emotional and spiritual support even when we can’t be so physically present? How do we build up the family of God in a time of pandemic? 

I suspect that while many of the brothers and sisters we serve through our work for the Society of St. Vincent de Paul appreciate the goods we deliver to them, what they really crave is eye contact, a listening ear, some cheerful conversation, and perhaps a heartfelt prayer that things finally go right in their world, a prayer that mentions them, their loved ones, and their needs, and gives them an extra helping of hope. 

 As for Ray, I saw him on the street the other day, and I have no doubt that he was looking for my smile far more than those mittens. It gets lonely on the street sometimes. He was delighted to have a socially-distanced chat when I asked him how he was doing, what was new, and whether he likes living in his sister’s basement. His eyes teared up when I told him that whenever he comes to mind, I pray for him. 

For me, that’s the Social in social justice – a ministry of presence to let the people we serve know that we see, hear, and truly care about them, COVID-19 protocols notwithstanding.

Sunday, November 22, 2020

Sunday Reflection: When did we see you...?


Today's reflection is brought to you by
Matthew 25:31-46.

I'm not sure you can be any clearer.

The way to bring heaven to earth is

to feed the hungry.

Give drink to the thirsty.

Welcome the stranger.

Clothe the naked.

Care for the sick.

Visit those in prison.

It sounds so simple
but what you are 
really saying
is that we must
stop worrying about ourselves and
work to fix 
the real injustices
that surround us.

We must serve you
not only by loving life's beauty,
but serving 
to alleviate life's harsh realities
and the injustices
we prefer to ignore.

Christ Creator,
give us the courage
to know
ALL of
humanity,
ALL of creation
as our family,
and to do what must be done.

Help us 
to really understand 
that when one suffers,
all suffer,
and to act
as your hands, 
feet,
and heart in our world.

+Amen.

* * * * * * *


Below are a few ways to do what can be done locally in these covid times. If you have suggestions for broader outreach, please share!

Wednesday, November 18, 2020

Short Story #27 -- Nine-Year-Old, Reimagined

Yesterday when I sat down to work on a Writing Club story (for the club composed of my best friend, Cathy, and me) I was surprised to see that it had been over two years since I'd written the last one, The Killer Whale and the Meadowlark. Cathy suggested the topic for this one -- an opportunity to look back at some event that impacted our younger selves and to respond to it differently.

One of the defining moments of my life was when I was nine years old, and my parents moved our family from small-town Saskatchewan to Alberta's capital city so that they could take over a church supplies store. It was a big adjustment for a little prairie girl. I knew so little about the big wide world, and how was a nine-year-old supposed to handle racism?

One day, helping at my parents' store, I picked up the first badge mentioned in the story below, and when I wore it to school and the kids asked its meaning, they started to call me “Holy-holy.” My nickname didn’t bother me as much as some of the other girls’ nastier nicknames bothered them, but we were all bothered, no question. Here’s that life event reimagined, as my affirmation for anyone who was ever teased or bullied by other kids.


Nine-Year-Old, Reimagined

MCWC #27

November 17, 2020


There was no way around it, these kids were strange.

And loud, and rude, and mean.

Not all of them. But more than I was used to, including the gossipy girls and Tom S and Tommy W. Maybe being a city slicker made you that way. But Diane wasn’t a city slicker in my old hometown, and she had seemed loud and rude and mean sometimes, like these kids. Especially when she swore, and when she tried to make my baby sister eat a mud, leaves and sticks pie. And now it seemed like I was going to a school with lots of Dianes.

Moving from a Saskatchewan hamlet of three hundred to a city of 450,000 was a shock to the system. So was going from a quiet class of 17 to a noisy group of 22. I liked Mrs. Collins, but some of the kids, not so much.

Laurel was paired up with me as soon as I walked into the classroom. She was allowed to pull her desk next to mine so she could help me find my way through the textbooks and activities that the other Grade Fours had already been working through for two months. At first it seemed like she was really excited to show the new girl around, like I was her prize, not to be shared with the other girls. But then at recess two days later, she got into a fight with Tommy W, and I was shocked by the way her fists flew. She seemed to expect me to jump in and help her, but I didn’t understand that until after, when she told me I was useless. After the fight, I overheard her and some of her usual friends whispering about me. The words “small town nobody” filtered into my consciousness, and Laurel abandoned me.

Joan, Karen, and Patricia told me to ignore the mean girls, who were mean to them, too. The unlikely trio who adopted me were quieter than Laurel and her friends, but they were also made fun of by the mean girls, and were picked on relentlessly by Tommy W and Tom S. Patricia’s dad was from the West Indies and her mom was from Holland, so she wasn’t quite as white as the rest of us. She was a small but feisty target for the class bullies’ entertainment, able to shout them down sometimes, backed up by Karen, the tallest kid in our class, and Joan, who invoked her big brother’s name whenever she deemed it necessary to strike real fear into the school bullies’ hearts. They all seemed to know about John, and backed off when she threatened his intervention.

Even so, no one could stop Tom S and Tommy W from chanting at Patricia from a distance, “Paki! Paki! Your dad is a Paki and so are you!” until she was in tears and they ran off laughing.

What on earth was a Paki?

I had no idea or explanation, but Joan, Karen and Patricia would sometimes launch themselves after the Grade Four bully boys and chase them all the way across the school yard, and pull their hair or kick their shins. These chases made me really uncomfortable because I didn’t want to fight like Laurel had. I could see that the boys’ nastiness came out of boredom. It was always a relief when they were busy playing soccer with the Italian kids at recess because they forgot to bother us. But when the Italians got fed up with Tom S and Tommy W’s cheating and kicked the two bullies out of the game, look out! They took it out on Patricia.

Joan, Karen and Patricia seemed kind of strange compared to friends back in my old hometown. They didn’t want to play games at recess. Mostly, they stood around talking about cable TV shows and pretending they were Pinky and the Tuscaderos. They liked to gossip about David Cassidy, Donnie Osmond, or whoever was the flavour of the day on the cover of the latest teen magazine that Joan’s big sisters subscribed to.

And they had so many ‘clubs.’ At recess, I never knew whether it would be The Six Million Dollar Man, Tiger Beat, Fleetwood Mac or any number of other fan clubs from one day to the next. It baffled me, but I tried to seem interested, though I had little idea what they were talking about because my house didn’t have cable TV yet.

After three weeks in Grade Four, Mrs. Collins pulled me aside one recess and asked me how I liked my new school. “It’s okay, I guess,” I said, “and the work is pretty easy so far.”

“Well, Maria, how would you like a bit more of a challenge? The tests Mrs. Hilderink gave you in the Resource Room say that you’re reading way above Grade Four Level, so I was wondering if you would like to go for Grade 5 Language Arts with Sylvia and Simon? This afternoon, Sylvia will take you with her to Mr. Wozny’s room, and help you figure things out.”

Sylvia was one of Laurel’s friends, but I soon discovered that, away from Laurel and the rest of the mean girls, she was okay. I didn’t like Mr. Wozny very much, but he was pleased with my reading and writing, and I kept up just fine. Plus I got to know a few of the Grade Five girls, who seemed nice, if a bit aloof.

Mr. Wozny put me in a desk right behind Anna. She and her older sister were the only Chinese Canadian students in the entire school. She was smart and pretty, I thought, and nicer than Sylvia. She had a quiet smile and a sharp sense of humour, but it didn’t take long for me to realize that she was always having to use it to deflect nasty comments from some of the other Grade Fives, who seemed to be jealous of her.

One Friday morning recess when Joan and Patricia were pretending to be Police Women and had commandeered Francis and Karl to be bad guys, I noticed Anna walking along the edge of the school fence all by herself. I ran over to her, and saw that she was crying.

“Anna, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing you should bother with.”

“No, I want to know.”

She sniffed and used her mittens to dry her eyes. “Michael, Scott, and Greg were just calling me a Chink, like they always do. This time, they tripped me and ran away before the supervision teacher saw it.”

The boys were off in the distance, pointing at us. I frowned and found a crumpled Kleenex in my pocket to give to her. “Is Chink anything like Paki?” I asked.

She gave me a funny look, then laughed out loud. “I guess so. But my family is Chinese, not Pakistani.”

“Neither is Patricia’s family.”

“No, the bullies don’t care what they call people, they just want to pick on someone for being different.”

“But we’re all different.”

“No, you’re white.”

“I know. But they treat me different because I don’t know how to be a city kid. And because my parents run a church supplies store and I’m learning lots about church stuff.”

“That’s not like being Chinese.”

“I guess not, but I think you’re so smart and pretty and funny, and they just need to see it.”

“I don’t think they can,” she sighed. “They just think what they think, and it’s like they all think the same.”

“Well, they need to think different,” I said. “Maybe there's something we can do. In the meantime, can I hang out with you? Karen’s not here today, and I don’t really like being part of the “Police Woman Club.”

“Sure.” Anna smiled a small smile. “I’m not an Angie Dickinson fan either.”

“Who’s she?”

“What else don’t you know, country girl?”

I took a chance and asked Anna a lot of the questions that I had been afraid to ask the other kids in my class since arriving in the city. She told me that Pakistan was closer to China than the West Indies, and that the bullies probably were confusing Patricia with the Pakistanis who were immigrating to Edmonton to get English educations. Anna’s own family had emigrated because things had been difficult for them in China. And Anna knew way more about cable TV shows than I did.

When the recess bell rang, we started back to the school, but Michael, Greg, Scott, Tommy W and Tom S were waiting for us mid-schoolyard.

“Chink, Chink, Chinky-Chink!” Michael, Greg and Scott screamed. “You eat cow stomachs for lunch!”

Tommy W and Tom S circled around me, vying for the older boys’ approval, saying, “Why are you hanging out with the Chink, Small Town Nobody?” Tom S pounded my back with his fist for good measure, watching for the Grade Fives' grins, catching me by surprise. Angry tears jumped to my eyes, but I just stood there, staring them all down.

“Huh,” Tom said. “She doesn’t hit back.”

“Don’t you know that Jesus said to turn the other cheek?” I said quietly. “Leave us alone.”

“Chinky-chink and Holy-holy,” Michael yelled, as Anna and I moved closer together and glared at them. The boys all took up the chant as they ran for the school.

“Are you okay?” Anna asked.

“Yeah, just mad. And I’m thinking about what to do about it.”

When I walked into the Grade Four classroom, Karen was telling Mrs. Collins that she came late because her dad forgot to wake her up. She was eating a cereal bar, and it looked like she had just climbed out of bed and put on her clothes about a minute before. Her socks didn't match and her hair was sticking out all over the place.

“Rooster Tail, Rooster Tail!” Tommy W and Tom S started another chant, and for a few seconds, I was glad they weren’t chanting Holy-holy anymore. But Karen was livid. “Don’t call me that!” she said loudly, her face turning bright red.

Mrs. Collins silenced the boys with a look, and started a Social Studies lesson. But whenever the teacher was distracted by other kids, Tom and Tommy were quietly rude and mean, goading Karen with her new nickname, which they had shortened to Rooster. By the end of the day, she was in tears, too.

When I got home from school, Mom told me that the evening’s plan was to rearrange and reorganize another corner of the new store. When Dad came home, we all had a quick supper and drove back downtown as a family. My sisters went straight to the kids’ corner to look at the picture books and read to each other, but I wandered around aimlessly, thinking about Anna and Karen and the bullies.

“Maria,” Mom called, “would you mind sorting out this box for me? All of these pins have gotten mixed up, so they need to be separated back into their proper compartments.”

There were doves, crosses, rainbows, happy faces, lambs, peace symbols, more different pins than I had ever imagined. I dumped the whole mess out onto a countertop and it took me a good half-hour to sort everything. When I was finished, I had about two dozen pins that didn’t fit into the box with the others, including ten round badges of different fluorescent colours that bore the cryptic message, PBPGINTWMY.

Mom checked on my organizational efforts. “Thank you, Maria, that’s much better.”

“You’re welcome, Mom. There are a few single ones that don't match any of the others. And what do these fluorescent ones mean?”

“I’m not sure. Is there a sticker on the back?”

“Just the company name.”

Mom went to the order desk and pulled out a catalogue. “Let’s see if we can find out. She flipped through the pages until she found it. “Hmm, it seems to be shorthand for ‘Please Be Patient. God Is Not Through With Me Yet.’ But if you have to ask, maybe no one else will know what it means either. Do you want these things?”

“Sure. They give me an idea.”

Monday at school, I gave out my own reinvented fluorescent badges to Anna, Patricia, Karen, Joan and a few other quieter girls on the playground who were picked on by the bully boys, or who the mean girls gossiped about. My badges said IASAKAFABANOWSOKWTTA.

“I-a-sak-a-fab-a what?” Joan tried to pronounce it.

“What does it mean?” everyone asked.

When I told my new friends that it was a new club to protect them from the nasty kids, and what the letters meant, they laughed, but they nodded when I said, “You don’t have to tell the nasty kids what it means. You’re the one who knows who you are. Just point to your badge, walk away, and find other friends with badges. We’re a club, remember?”

The loud, rude and mean kids were flummoxed. “What language is that supposed to be? And what does it mean? What does it mean?”

“That’s for us to know and you to find out,” we replied, and I’m not sure even one of us ever revealed our badges’ secret super powers, probably because it was hard to get the saying right. Even I got it mixed up, but it translated as

I
Am
Smart
And
Kind
And
Funny
And
Beautiful
And
No
One
Who
Says
Otherwise
Knows
What
They’re
Talking
About.

Monday, November 16, 2020

#holyroodbenchproject update #5 -- three-and-a-half years later

Just before the snow flew on November 6th, I took one last chilly bike ride to capture a few pictures of some neighbourly benches that have shown up in Holyrood since my last #holyroodbenchproject update two and a half years ago. If you missed my earlier moodlings about the project, you can check out some pretty creative benches and learn how the project began by clicking these links below:

#holyroodbenchproject update #4 -- one year later

For update #5, I'll start with two blue simple beauties:



Blue seems to be a popular bench colour in our neighbourhood.

Since my last #holyroodbenchproject moodling, 
there are a couple of benches that have been repainted...


This brown one has the addition 
of some green grass and blue sky, maybe?


Jane's Doggie Rest Stop 
got spruced up after a hard winter or two.

Brett and Lynn turned their Canada Day red bench into something more romantic.

And the Butterfly bench is now a floral Spot to Stop. Clever rearrangement of letters.

There are a few newer designs, too...


Or maybe this one is simply redone with additional white paint?


This street has at least four benches on it, 
with this zinnia design being the newest.


This bench rests in a little area park rather than being a boulevard bench. 
Very punny.


Be careful how you sit on this one! 
I think it wins in the humour department.

Shadow and I often walk in the neighbourhoods beyond Holyrood, 
and we were delighted to find four neighbourly benches (below)
 next door in Strathearn. The SEESA carpenters' little project 
has spread benches far and wide, building community 
beyond the neighbourhood's boundaries.





Above is Strathearn's counterpoint to Jane's doggie rest stop, I guess.
These playful cats make me smile every time.

I really like this last Holyrood bench below, designed by Jeff Sylvester, a Holyrood resident who is an amazing artist, for a neighbour who wanted a piece of Jeff's art. I'm not sure if the bench has an actual title, but Jeff's murmurations of starlings and cell towers feature in other art on his website. 

The design reminds me of the swirls of Bohemian waxwings that we often see feeding from Holyrood's mountain ash trees in February, and of the crows that I've seen around church cell towers that have been converted to look something like steeples marked with a cross. I once heard a crow inside a tower, seemingly playing with the sound of his voice echoing against its walls. Or maybe there was a nest up there? Regardless, the juxtaposition of nature and technology in this piece of art is thought-provoking, it is beautiful to look at, and is possibly the smoothest SEESA-made bench you'll ever sit on. The bench has a thick coat of resin to give it a show-stopping shine.


I could feel the oncoming snow in the air by the end of my bike ride, so I may have missed a few benches in my hurry to go home and warm up. I suspect there are others that have changed in the past three-and-a-half years. I wonder if more might show up over the next while as covid projects. Not that it matters. I love my neighbourhood and all the good neighbours who make it more walkable by offering some public seating. 

Well done, all!

Friday, November 13, 2020

All tucked in

Growth and diminishment in the cycle of the seasons never ceases to amaze me. I notice it especially in the garden, where just a few days can make a huge difference. 

Now that we have reached the end of this gardening year, I am looking back on things and beginning to think about next year, though I won't get into serious planning until the seed catalogue arrives on the coldest day of January (how does it always manage to do that?) I learned a few things this year... that it's okay to pick barely pink strawberries if I don't want the slugs to get them first, that it's important to tie up Ralph's zucchinili squash or it curls up on the ground and can be mistaken for a snake, that pumpkins work better in full sun, and that I should probably plant half the climbing beans I did last May.

I thought it would be fun to post pictures of our raised bed vegetable garden as it progressed in 2020. 


June 3 -- planting is complete, just as it starts to rain!


June 9 -- warmth and growth


Week of July 12 -- I'm walking around every day,
marveling at how quickly things change.
It seems like those fava beans grew 5 cm overnight!

Didn't take any pictures in August!


September 7 -- Harvest has begun, 
but the everbearing strawberries keep going 
until first frost


September 18 -- Garlic, onions and beans are out,
but there's still a long way to go before snow -- 
thank goodness for my partner,
who wades in when I start to feel overwhelmed!


September 28 -- spreading and shoveling compost into the beds


October 20 -- Snow arrives... 
before I get all the leaves shoveled into the soil!


November 2 -- Thank goodness it doesn't last. 
A few warm days and Lee's help saw the leaves dug in 
and the beds re-covered with more leaves.
Bare soil is dying soil, and fall garlic needs protection
so it comes up in the spring -- 
a lesson I once learned the hard way!


It's been a week now since the snow arrived, and it looks like it's here to stay. But I don't mind -- harvest is in our freezer, our soil is all tucked in under an abundance of autumn leaves and white moisture, and the leaf bin is full for next year's composting and mulching efforts (thanks to the donations of several neighbours).

After a busy season of growth and diminishment, it's time for soil and soul to rejuvenate. 

Monday, November 9, 2020

Remembrance in the time of pandemic

In these covid times, Remembrance Day, like everything else, will be a bit strange. Lee and I have been in the habit of trying to attend at least one of the day's events in the past, mostly outdoors. But with covid cases spiking lately, I'm not sure how we will commemorate our veterans and war dead in 2020. So far, all I've noticed is the usual uptick of news clips and online postings featuring soldiers' stories, sung versions of In Flanders Fields, and photos of places and people affected by the Great Wars.

No war is ever great, even though it brings out heroism and courage in people. So this year, I am simply praying for peace, and I invite you to join me. Last night I was able to livestream and record our annual Ecumenical Prayer for Peace with scripture, silence, and meditative chants from the Taizé community, and it seems a few people were online with me during the prayer. The pandemic meant that I was unable to pray and play/sing with our usual musicians' group and other friends that I am really missing -- I think once you pray with people, especially in a time of silence, there's something of an unbreakable bond forged. So online prayer was different, but still a time of peace to pray for world peace.

If you're not sure how to commemorate Remembrance Day this year, I offer this recording of last night's prayer for your use. It would almost be better as a podcast, as there's nothing to see but candles and icon. As I was quite distracted by the details of livestreaming last night, I intend to spend some time on Remembrance Day, to enter into the prayer's true spirit, to reflect on the losses of life that happen when wars occur, and to pray for peace to envelop our hearts, homes and world.

Join me?

Saturday, November 7, 2020

The Last Breakfast

 "Coffee?" 

"Please. Triple triple."

"Cocoa porridge or chicken vegetable soup?"

"Both."

Yesterday morning, I was privileged to help with the Last Breakfast at Camp Pekiwewin (Pekiwewin means Welcome Home), a place for the homeless of our city that was created by volunteers from Black Lives Matter and many other groups. When our city shut down the Expo Centre shelter facility at the beginning of the summer, many people stepped up to close the gap. They started by erecting a tepee and sacred fire which were soon surrounded by a small city of tents, situated at the foot of Walterdale Hill and Bridge, across from the city ball park in clear sight of downtown commuters. It survived on volunteer power and donations from the wider community offered by many people who understand the importance of caring for those living on the margins.

I only made it down to camp three times, twice to serve porridge and coffee and once to drop off a donation. I was impressed by the young adults who were in charge and their strong sense of service and social justice. They showed the City of Edmonton that caring for the homeless is not optional, but essential, insisting on the dignity of all those living in the tent community and demanding their rights to a place where they felt safe. 

In effect, Camp Pekiwewin shamed the City into taking action sooner than later to set up shelters for colder weather, and woke many Edmontonians up to the usually hidden fact of homelessness. Now that winter is arriving, the camp is in its last days. Yesterday's meals were the last to be offered by volunteers, and today there will be a closing Round Dance for the community as a whole.

And make no mistake, it was a well-organized community considering that we are in pandemic times. Everyone did their best to live by covid-19 protocols given the roughness of the situation. The people onsite knew each other and looked after each other. One fellow appeared at the kitchen window five or six times yesterday morning, taking away bowls after bowls of porridge, clearly serving his friends -- there was no way a beanpole like him could eat that much, that quickly. Most folks were polite while waiting in line, ensuring that the person ahead of them had picked up all their food before stepping up to the window. There was plenty of good-natured banter, and considerable dismay that this was "The Last Breakfast." The residents are now expected to go to one of three shelters the city has arranged, and the community is saying its farewells to each other.

I couldn't help but feel the weight of sadness in the air, that these friendships and Camp's sense of community is being divided up. Though I definitely wasn't one of the regulars, I felt the camaraderie and sense of purpose in supporting the common good just by the way everyone welcomed and kibbitzed with a relative stranger, and put me to work organizing the kitchen or dishing out porridge. The volunteers, some of whom practically lived onsite, figured out what the community needed and worked very successfully to create it. Social work, medical care, security, food, and clothing were provided by a large group of committed Edmontonians who volunteered their time and resources, and who clearly had a stake in the common good provided for at Camp.

And now, while many of Camp's residents will go to the shelters, I suspect others will retreat into more isolated camps in the River Valley once again. They are the ones I worry about the most. In February during a dog walk, I happened upon a fellow who had built himself a tiny plywood shack in the ravine not far from here. He was friendly, and clearly used to roughing it. He might be able to survive winter, but will he be able to avoid covid-19 with the numbers rising in our city? And if he does get sick, will he be able to access the help he needs? God, I hope so.

This morning, the snow is really coming down. Our health officials tell us the virus is really ramping up. The temptation for those of us living in relative comfort and security is to settle down for a long winter's nap. The challenge, especially in these days of pandemic, is to continue to work for the good of all those around us, to remember to support the foodbanks, the inner city agencies, and the many volunteers and service organizations that help our low-income brothers and sisters. Maybe I can't serve porridge at Camp again, but there are other opportunities to donate or work for the good of those who struggle...

Bent Arrow Traditional Healing Society

The Bissell Centre

Boyle Street Community Services

Edmonton Food Bank

Hope Mission

Homeward Trust

The Marian Centre

The Mustard Seed

The Society of St. Vincent de Paul


Tuesday, November 3, 2020

A prayer for bridges

On this so-called historic day when the American people are determining their future, I am thinking, once again, about bridges. 

On Friday, my husband and I took a gorgeous but windy walk along the Old Man River in Lethbridge. We were in the southern Alberta city to visit his parents, as it was his dad's birthday. While the folks had their afternoon naps, we drove to the river bottom near Fort Whoop Up and enjoyed a nature walk that took us across two vehicular bridges and under the world's highest and longest train trestle bridge (which I have moodled about before).





On the east side of the Old Man, we wound along the paths of the Helen Shuler Nature Reserve, where the trees sheltered us and the sun was warm.


When we were crossing the Highway 3 Bridge, the wind was almost gale force. It was a relief to cross to the west side and see the High Level Bridge from a different perspective, where coulee hills sheltered us.




Our neighbours to the south have been buffeted by some pretty strong winds since their last election four years ago. Today, I am praying for peace, and for their electoral choices to bring about a place of calm from which good decisions can be made for their future and the future of our world as a whole. May the next four years be a time of building bridges between the hearts of all those who live in the United States, that they may work together to create a country that is founded on justice and peace. Only when all its people are cared for will freedom truly be meaningful.


An Election Prayer

Creator Spirit, Great Wind,
you desire neither suffering nor distress
for all that you have made.
Please guide the hearts of the American people
to remember that they are all one in their desire for a great country.
Show kindness to all who love you and follow your will.
Open the doors that have been closed,
raise the voices of those who have been disenfranchised,
be shelter for those who are poor, imprisoned, blinded by prejudice,
or otherwise downtrodden.
Please, help the citizens to bridge their differences. 
Be the Good News of compassion
to guide the United States
and help its people to be Good News for each other.
+Amen.