Sunday, January 15, 2012

Ambitionlessness sets me free

Is there such a word as non-ambition? Unambition? Ambitionlessness? I have been looking for the right word, but I can't seem to find it, not even in my handy dandy Roget's Thesaurus. So I'm going to tell you a story about it, and maybe you can give me the word I'm seeking.

As you may or may not have read in a previous post, I have written a novel that I hope will be published soon. I finished it almost five years ago, and have been tinkering with it ever since. I think it's actually a really good story (and a few others agree), so why leave it in my computer if it can do somebody some good?

So, in an effort to get my story published, a friend and I went to meet with a bona fide writer on Friday. Richard has written a number of books and done all sorts of amazing things in the last twenty years. I went to see him because I wanted information about publishing a book. It wasn't long into our time together that I wondered if there was anything he could say to help me, because we are so different.

Richard is a man who lives by his writing. For him, success is very important, and he's had considerable success. So when I asked about self-publishing to get my story out there, he started talking about speaking engagements and self-promotion. When I explained that I want my novel to bring some donations to the Centre to End All Sexual Exploitation, he made a comment about Canadians being the hobbits of the universe for all our good works. He strongly urged me to get an agent (in fact, offered to bring my project to his agent) and gave me plenty of encouragement to get out there, sell lots of books, and be a success.

But what I tried to tell him is that I already feel like a success. If my book can be published and make some money for CEASE, that's a big bonus for what has already been an amazing experience. I've written a 177,000 word manuscript for my friends to enjoy, they've enjoyed it, and I'm happy. I have no more ambition than to share an amazing story that came to me through a dream, and that I had the pleasure to put on paper. Speaking engagements and self-promotion are not what this is all about. It's about telling a story that can perhaps bring donations to a very worthy cause: that of helping our sisters and brothers caught up in human trafficking situations to be free, and well, and whole.

I'm happy with my life as is. I have a job that brings me joy, a wonderful family, my old dream home to live in, gardens to grow good things, and outlets for my creative energies. I have no real ambitions beyond these, and honestly, that's a wonderful thing, very freeing. I feel no pressure to have a best-selling novel on my hands, but I would love to see it published for CEASE's sake, to raise awareness.

So now that you know the story, what's the word that I'm seeking?

4 comments:

  1. Altruisticallyorganicallyawesome?
    :)
    I think there are self publishing sites online, where one can get themselves set up. You can even market your book on one of the sites too( I think)..try http://www.firstchoicebooks.ca/ and http://www.lulu.com/

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  2. That's very sweet of you all, but I think Lynnell and Claire (who sent me an email) are closest. Content works for me! Still, there ought to be a word like ambitionlessness.

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